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Theodore played chess once...and chess lost.
S4tchM4nsN4tch, Theodore's hacker pseudonym, is widely considered responsible for the DDOS attack on 4chan.org in December of 2007. It is rumored the attack came after a script kiddy, B1bby, posted an alleged 'shop' of Theodore fellating the Pope. Ted is neither religious or Catholic. His vegenance, however, is swift and just.
Ted beats Amherst in a google fight: http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=Ted+Wiles&word2=Amherst+College