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My Dad
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Well, my dad is a spammer. How would your dad feel about getting his completely unsecured wiki vandalized? I would guess that he would feel terrible.
Oh yeah? Well, my dad is has three citizenships, including Scots, Canadian, and American. When he immigrates to a new country, no one can understand his accent, making him the original International Man of Mystery. How would your dad feel if my dad force-fed him some haggis and blood pudding? I guess that he would feel terrible.