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Jesse Levitt
Jesse Levitt is a cross between Alpha Centauri and a Cocker Spaniel. Jesse Levitt would like to thank Quaker Oats and the Letter K for helping him get where he is today. Last year, it was conclusively proven by the Williams College Math Department that a solution exists for Jesse Levitt.
The best advice ever given with respect to dealing with Jesse Levitt - "Do not, no matter what, get sucked into Jesse's personal life". (Adam McKay)
Jesse Levitt once went missing from campus for 18 hours. For further reading, see here