Anonymous

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Captain Morgan

14 bytes added, 17:02, November 3, 2005
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However, as those of us who are proficient in geography will observe, Kentucky is a landlocked state. It appeared that Jeff's suggestion would not be feasible. However, it was discovered that the Kentucky legislature had passed a resolution, available at [[http://www.lrc.state.ky.us/recarch/02rs/HR256.htm]] and reproduced in full below:
* A RESOLUTION encouraging the purchase and vigorous use of the USS Louisville 688 VLS Class submarine.* WHEREAS, in the past few years the scourge of the casino riverboat has been an increasingly significant presence on the Ohio River; and* WHEREAS, the Ohio River borders the Commonwealth of Kentucky; and* WHEREAS, the siren song of payola issuing from the discordant calliopes of these gambling vessels has led thousands of Kentucky citizens to vast disappointment and woe; and* WHEREAS, no good can come to the citizens of Kentucky hypnotized from the siren song issuing from these casino riverboats, the engines of which are fired by the hard-earned dollars lost from Kentucky citizens;* NOW, THEREFORE,
Be it resolved by the House of Representatives of the General Assembly of the Commonwealth of Kentucky:
* Section 1. The House of Representatives does hereby encourage the formation of the Kentucky Navy and subsequently immediately encourages the purchase and armament of one particularly effective submarine, namely, the USS Louisville 688 VLS Class Submarine, to patrol the portion of the Ohio River under the jurisdiction of the Commonwealth to engage and destroy any casino riverboats that the submarine may encounter.
Section 2. The House of Representatives does hereby authorize the notification of the casino riverboat consulate of this Resolution and impending whoopin' so that they may remove their casino vessels to friendlier waters.
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