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Relationships

Revision as of 20:27, November 9, 2005 by Diana (talk | contribs)

Relationships are like a giant spider-web of one-way arrows. You have interest in a few other people, they have interest in a few other people, et cetera. Even when the arrows are two-way, they may be of different thickness, since people may well like each other in different degrees. When you get a two-way arrow, the greatest common interest denominator will generally drive the relationship. In the rare relationship, these arrows are roughly identical to begin with. More often, they will differ, but still be quite workable in some form, even if the greatest common denominator of hookup and marriage is hookup.

The long term high school relation will generally fail after one or two years. However, this will put you in a better position than all those of your classmates who immediately got wifed with some upperclassman/entry mate within the first semester because you'll have much better friends. Regardless of who you're dating, don't ignore your friends for your relationship.

Long distance relationships are troublesome. Avoid them at all cost. Your interest in the other person will fade because you won't have time to think about him/her and all the things you like about being with him/her because you won't actually be with them. Long distance relationships are tempting, but don't do it. Don't date someone at home while you're abroad, the results will be disastrous. Even if you're happy at school, leave it while you're away and come back when you return.

On that note, don't feel obligated to actually be in a relationship while here. While some people feel the need to "pretend" to be happy being single, it really does provide freedom and entertainment for extended periods of time.

The Boston Globe ran an article about Williams relationships here. An excerpt: At Williams, the refrain is that everyone is either "married" -- inseparable from their significant other -- or prone to "hook up"

with people in casual, usually drunken, encounters. Or they have no 
love life at all.

Get tested.

This is not exactly an unbiased source of funding for a report of its kind, but it is a rather interesting study nonetheless -- arguably pretty compelling evidence that college women get the short end of the stick when it comes to the hookup/marriage culture at places like Williams. (and of course, sometimes men do, too.) See here.