Captain Morgan

5 bytes added, 17:03, November 3, 2005
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* WHEREAS, the siren song of payola issuing from the discordant calliopes of these gambling vessels has led thousands of Kentucky citizens to vast disappointment and woe; and
* WHEREAS, no good can come to the citizens of Kentucky hypnotized from the siren song issuing from these casino riverboats, the engines of which are fired by the hard-earned dollars lost from Kentucky citizens;
* Be it resolved by the House of Representatives of the General Assembly of the Commonwealth of Kentucky:
* Section 1. The House of Representatives does hereby encourage the formation of the Kentucky Navy and subsequently immediately encourages the purchase and armament of one particularly effective submarine, namely, the USS Louisville 688 VLS Class Submarine, to patrol the portion of the Ohio River under the jurisdiction of the Commonwealth to engage and destroy any casino riverboats that the submarine may encounter.
* Section 2. The House of Representatives does hereby authorize the notification of the casino riverboat consulate of this Resolution and impending whoopin' so that they may remove their casino vessels to friendlier waters.
A letter, formulated by [[Brian Hirshman '06]] and signed by at least thirty people, was sent to the Kentucky governor, asking for Colonel Morgan's transfer. They are still waiting for a response.
It has also been suggested that, should Frank Morgan be transferred, [[Nathan Sanders]] of the Linguistics department be appointed to the Society of Kentucky Colonels to take his place.
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