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Tray carvings

Revision as of 01:08, October 30, 2005 by (talk)

Carvings generally fall into three four a bunch of categories: Wilbur trays, "Tray of" trays, tray puns, Cult of Tom trays, trays with pictures, and...other trays.



(An unlikely but intriguing possible source for the great resentment towards Wilbur may be the late 19th century serialized novel "Wilbur of Williams", [note: title may need correcting] which can be found in the Williams Archives. It is, naturally, a romance. Jealousy, perhaps?)

I don't know where the story above came from but this is the true story. Once upon a time, there was a Williams student who was named Wilbur, and he sucked. To spread the word about how much Wilbur sucked, his friends took the time during meals to carve reminders for other Williams students on Mission and later Greylock trays. They later became creative outlets for people give other examples of how much Wilbur sucked. Wilbur graduated years ago, but was succeeded by another Wilbur (his brother) who sucked even more. This Wilbur's friends brought the Wilbur Sucks message into the digital age and started the Wilbur Sucks group. Everyone is encouraged to join and will receive a Wilbur Sucks nickname upon entry.

  • Wilbur Sucks I - LXII (beyond?)
  • Wilbur cooks with spices (Greylock?)
  • Wilbur was framed (Greylock)
  • Wilbur plays ice hockey (Greylock)
  • Wilbur takes econ
  • Wilbur invaded Poland (Greylock)
  • Welcome to Wilbur Country (Surgeon General's warning: Wilbur Sucks)
  • Wilbur works the corner (Greylock)
  • Wilbur failed the MCATs
  • Wilbur tips poorly (Greylock)
  • Wilbur has halitosis (Greylock)
  • Wilbur felches (Greylock)
  • Wilbur eats veal (Greylock)
  • Wilbur watches figure skating (Greylock)
  • Wilbur worships false idols (Greylock)
  • Wilbur brakes for moose (Mission)
  • Wilbur rides the night train (Driscoll)
  • Wilbur is out of his element (Greylock)
  • Wilbur is a Saddam body double (Greylock)
  • Wilbur is out of his element (Greylock)
  • Wilbur fucked your girlfriend

A few years ago, some students took it upon themselves to redeem Wilbur's image in the public eye by recording the following positive attributes.

  • Wilbur donates blood (Mission)
  • Wilbur Votes (Mission)
  • Wilbur Recycles (Mission)

Cult of Tom

  • Cult of Tom
  • Cult of Tom Tom
  • Cult of Tom Tom Tom
and so on . . .

The Cult of Tom story orginated in 2000 when Tom Fleming ('00) and Jeff Grant ('00) were talking to each other and realized that people would wear pretty much any free T-shirt. Thus, Tom decided he could start his own cult merely by printing up shirts that said "Cult of Tom" and distributing them. The only rule for the Cult of Tom was that you must wear the T-shirt.

Then, Tom asked everybody with the shirt to wear it and come to his thesis defense to ask questions (perhaps silly questions or pre-arranged really intelligent ones). It was afterwards that "Cult of Tom" began being scratched onto Driscoll trays.

This is where the story diverges. Some say that Tom Stackpole ('01) got jealous and scratched out the orignal Tom and put his own name in. Others say that a friend of Tom's started the corrections, and thereby created a new Cult of Tom (Stackpole). At any rate, the original Cult of Tom supporters were angry, and scratched out the new Tom and replaced it with the old Tom. As a result, the system of odd-even number of Toms was created. An odd number of Toms meant Tom Fleming, and even numbers were Tom Stackpole.

Source: members of class of 2000, 2001 -- many of whom still have original Cult of Tom shirts.

Other incarnations of the Tom theme:

  • Cult of Thomas Edison
  • Cult of Strom
  • Cult of Sarah's Tomb (Driscoll; handwriting analysis implies a vandalization of earlier Cult of Tom tray)
  • Cult of (Greylock; maybe they got interrupted?)

Tray of...

  • Tray of the Thnikkaman (including drawing; Mission)
  • The tray of repeatedly hitting yourself over the head with a shovel (Mission)
  • Tray of Spiritual Horniness (Driscoll)
  • Tray of Snow Bocce 2004 (Mission)
  • Tray of the Future (Mission)
  • Tray of Feral Pigs (Mission)
  • Tray of the Luv Potion (Driscoll)
  • Tray of Williams (Wesleyan)
  • Tray of Willful Disregard (Driscoll)
  • Tray of Unfulfilled Desires (Driscoll)
  • Tray of Tu Madre (Driscoll)
  • Tray of GE's Freedom Movement (Greylock)
  • Tray of Buttface (Mission)
  • Tray of the Love Nest (Mission)

Tray Puns

  • Basic Trayning/I want to be a Driscoll Tray (Mission, was in Baxter)
  • Death Before Detrayal (Driscoll and Mission)
  • Tray Bien
  • Judgment Tray
  • Penetraytion (Mission)
  • Defenestraytion
  • Libertray, Egalitray, Fraternitray (Mission; also says Wilbur Sucks LI)
  • Take the A-Tray
  • Trayin' Alive (Mission)
  • Elizabeth Traylor (Driscoll)
  • Traymate of the Year (Driscoll)
  • Tray of eMission (Mission)
  • Traytor to your Countray (Driscoll)

Mysterious Drawings

  • A proof that temperatures exist below absolute zero using orbital diagrams (Driscoll)
  • An illustration of a normal gaussian distribution (Driscoll)
  • Some nonsense with a guy in a boat and an angel thing (Driscoll)
  • A pretty well-done and detailed sketch of some dude's face, similar in style, as Dan skillfully put it, to the drawings of Egon Schiele (Driscoll)


  • Tray 3:16 (Mission)
  • e^(pi)(i) + 1 = 0 (Driscoll)
  • Mea mecum ludit virginitas (Driscoll; this tray presumably commemorates the Concert Choir's 2004 performance of Orff's Carmina Burana)
  • Chuck Chuck / buh-Chuck / etc. / Fuck / etc. / Chuck! (Greylock)
  • Monkeypo (Driscoll)

Ideas for Carvings

So awful.

  • Infiltraytion (I think this one exists)
  • Tray the course
  • Extray credit for puns
  • Wilbur: Zuckerman's Traymous Pig (sucks)
  • Et tu, Brutray? Then fall, salad.
  • Tray the Earth Stood Still
  • Auto-Traycheotomy
  • Tray that funky music, white boy
  • Jonathan Traylor Thomas
  • LNT: Leave No Trays
  • My baby takes the morning trayn
  • Early Gothic Traycery (with sketches)
  • A sketch of the monster from Pumpkinhead 1
  • The 6th Tray
  • (I'm going off the rails on a) Crazy Trayn
  • All aboard the Night Trayn
  • Keep food off of the Traychea
  • 40 trays and 40 bites
  • On the 7th tray, Cod rested.
  • The Tray After Tomorrow
  • Independence Tray
  • Tray? Fine by me.