| 1 | 320 | Mortal Wombat |
| 2 | 304 | Human Hindenburgs |
| 3 | 246 | D-Unit (*TOP FROSH TEAM) |
| 3 | 246 | Dan's Sister Loves Mr. Freud, Who Beat My Mother at Breakfast with a Coffee Cup. Down with the Matriarchy! |
| 5 | 234 | Is That a Deku Stick in Your Pocket, or Are You Just Happy to See Me? |
| 6 | 211 | The Nut Roll: Reloaded (*TOP REMOTE TEAM) |
| 7 | 192 | Two Shams of a Disgrace of a Travesty of an Outrage, Sauteed in Wrong Sauce |
| 8 | 180 | It's Not That We're Lazy, It's That We Just Don't Care |
| 9 | 153 | EAT AT OE'S |
| 10 | 138 | We've Got Your Trophy, So Leave a Million in the Graveyard If You Want to See It Again |
| 11 | 127 | The Tasmanian Treebiters of the North |
| 12 | 112 | We Were Just Enjoying the Fine Italian Atmosphere When Those FASCISTS Kicked Us Out |
| 13 | 109 | BOMO |
| 14 | 103 | Stuffed with Pastries and Drunk with Power |
| 15 | 66 | Bite My Shiny Metal Ass |
| 16 | 49 | Hopkins Unplugged |
| 16 | 49 | Uvula of Mass Destruction |
| 18 | 42 | Willy A |
| 18 | 42 | Bizarre Vagina Request |
| 20 | 34 | The Manhattan Skyliners |
| 21 | 31 | For Goats, Press 1 or Say "Goats" |
| 22 | 30 | I'd Give Anything for a Whiff of Old Toby |
| 23 | 24 | My Yoga-lates Just Got a Faceful of Dong |
| 24 | 16 | Forget Toby, Jon's Heady Musk is All I Need |
| 24 | 16 | We Keep Getting Older, But the Girls on Campus Stay the Same Age |
| 26 | 13 | Team Speed |
| 27 | 11 | Roger Clemens is a Pussy |
| 28 | 10 | No Preparation Required |
| 29 | 5 | No, You're Dumb |
| 30 | 4 | Gary in Forest Hills |
| 31 | 2 | The Biggest, Best-Distributed Collection of Losers in a Long Time |
| 31 | 2 | Toby, Invisible |
| 31 | 2 | I Want to Touch the Llama |
| 31 | 2 | Hooray Zoidberg! |
| 31 | 2 | Still Thinking About Dom Grillo Propositioning People in the Rathskellar |
| 31 | 2 | That Was an Awesome Intro |
| 31 | 2 | Beer Nuts |
| 31 | 2 | Laurie Brink is the Sexiest DJ Ever! |
| 31 | 2 | No, Josh is Dumb |
| 31 | 2 | Trotsky, If You're Taking the 7:00 am Dive, We're Going to Kill You |
| 31 | 2 | Call It Whatever You Want, You're Still Slumming |
| 31 | 2 | There is No More Cinnamon Orc |
| 31 | 2 | I Wouldn't Nail Scott Canty with Beth Budwig's Dick |
| 44 | 1 | Down and Out En Route to Accra |
| 44 | 1 | Existential Goddess |
| 44 | 1 | That Man is Successful Who Has Lived Well, Laughed Often, and Loved Much, That Has Known the Respect of the Intelligent Man and the Love of Children |
| 44 | 1 | Pervy Fancy Hobbitters |
| 44 | 1 | Hey Hindenbergs, BOMO Says, "Make a Run for It!" |
| 44 | 1 | Seth is Dumb |
| 44 | 1 | Nicole Kidman Slept Here |
| 44 | 1 | I Bukakke for Justice! |
| 44 | 1 | We're Not Entirely Sure Who Dom Grillo Is, But He Has to Be in This Contest |
POST FACTO SCORE TWEAKAGE:
Scores for the 7th Hour Bonus, Movie Stills, were never entered into the system on the night of the contest. The totals-- D-Unit (3 points); Mr. Freud (5 pts); Hindenburgs (7 pts); Deku Stick (8 pts); and Wombat (9 pts) -- have now been added. These points boost Mr. Freud into a 3rd-place tie with D-Unit, and also lift Human Hindenburgs above the "magic" 300-point mark.
Only the on-campus teams got the chance to answer the bonus. Long-distance teams never saw Movie Stills, as it was the only bonus unavailable online. So you can look at the faraway teams' scores as artifically reduced to the tune of a couple of points they probably woulda gotten, if the bonus had made it to them, or vice versa. There's almost no opportunity for the bonus to have made a difference in the respective rankings of the long-distance teams.
Three other teams' scores have been updated. The first Super Bonus score for My Yoga-lates Just Got a Faceful of Dong was mistakenly entered into the scoring program as 3 instead of 13. Their missing 10 points have been restored h ere. Stuffed with Pastries and Drunk with Power reported that they successfully solved the Ultra Bonus after the second set of clues, but that their answer was unacknowledged. They have been awarded the same 8 points that other teams got for doing the same; this puts them into triple digits. Shiny Metal Ass produced unscored Super Bonus emails that would have netted them a 4 on the first (Oz) and a 1 on the second (Radio). Their +5 points do not affect their position.
A few other long-distance teams reported having sent some bonus answer emails that fell through the cracks. Scores for these were either not tabulated, or not entered. Unfortunately, there's no way now to track down these errant emails. Know only that Williams Trivia is not about the stark result, but rather, the journey. And also, get thy ass to campus.
The top three teams-- Mortal Wombat, Human Hindenburgs, and D-Unit-- used just 5 words total in their names. This level of restraint hadn't been seen in Williams Trivia since 1980, when Cunning Linguists, Alphabet Soup and Giga battled for the crown.
THE RACE:
The 75th contest was well-regarded by every player who ventured an opinion in person, on the phones, or on the listserver. But the excitement over the game was not mirrored in the race. It was a drama-free competition, as the top of the scorechart became a 2-team situation very swiftly. And even that faceoff proved to be a steady drip-drip-drip erosion for the 2nd-place group. Once the teams settled in for the night, there was almost no indication that any team other than Mortal Wombat was going to win, and that's just what did happen.
The top two teams were essentially even for the first three hours or so. Mortal Wombat even flipflopped the #1 position with Human Hindenburgs for a while, depending mostly on whose question points were entered in which order. But that neck-and-neck pace was illusory. Wombat outscored Hindenburgs on 8 of the 10 bonuses; the teams tied on the other two. The ten bonuses gave Wombat a +17 in the standings. Wombat outscored Hindenburgs 183-179 on the on-air questions, and were even-steven on the Ultra Bonus. Only on Action Trivia (28-27) and the All-Night Puzzle feature (13-9) did the Hindenburgs outperform Wombat.
Mortal Wombat didn't blow the doors off the Hindenburgs in any given instance, but they were an equal or superior team at just about every point of the game. Wombat's steady ascent can be charted as (1+1+1+1+4+4+3+1+1+1+1+2+1-1-1+1+1-1-1-4), which is about as step-by-step as a big-margin win can be.
It was also apparent which team wanted it more. Mortal Wombat hit the Pus Line a couple of times, contesting on-air points they felt they'd deserved. Whereas Human Hindenburgs called the same Pus Line at least once, to joke about their fear of being in position to possibly win. Happily for both teams, the Wombats systematically built and preserved their own lead, without relying on the chicanery of another.
The Wombats' Dave Letzler provides this not-too-succinct description of the team's makeup: "Suffice to say that the Wombats were a coalition of members of Mortal Kumquat, the under-30 wing of Trotsky/Click Here, a number of Elizabethans past and present, some former Part IVers, and various friends and relatives of the aforementioned." Depending on which Wombat you're looking at, it was their 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or 4th win.
Taking the much-envied runner-up position in the 75th Williams Trivia contest was a team that had at least one member who'd played the 27th contest over two decades previously: Human Hindenburgs. Better known as the "Python team" based on their eldritch achievements of the 1980s (though abetted by several less-wrinkly cohorts this time), this was about the 15th contest in which this group has finished in the Top 2. The 2004 edition featured eleven people playing on campus, plus 3 remotely. One of the remote players was their main music guy, listening on delay. All night long, they'd drag the WCFM phone call out until the last 30 seconds of the song, at which time the song's title and artist would often be frantically IM'd to them from Forest Hills, NY.
The third-place team, D-Unit, finished a super-close second in the October 2003 mini-contest but took the Best Frosh Team honors in their first full version. Their performance was an historically terrific one for a 1st-time group (or 1.5st-time, if you include the October mini-contest).
The second-highest frosh team, Is That a Deku Stick (5th place overall), was a smaller breakaway group led by an erstwhile D-Unit'er, a few of her friends, and the assistance of 4 locals who showed up at the beginning of the contest looking for a team to join. They were the smallest of the six 200-point teams.
Also coming in at 246 points and a tie for third place was Dan's Sister Loves Mr. Freud. They were reportedly a "random hodgepodge" of former Part IV/Final Battle veterans, plus reinforcements from within and without Williams College.? They were one of the rare teams whose name exceeded a single sentence.
The Nut Roll: Reloaded was a large rotation of fifteen coming-and-going players in Portland, Oregon, organized by Karl Hein. They were the highest-scoring long-distance team by a sizeable 19-point margin. This was aided in no small part by their digital Action Trivia performances, on which they racked up.... well, 19 points.
Two Shams of a Disgrace (7th place) started as a 7-person team but shrunk by halftime to three diehards: Betsy Rosenblatt, Jared Levine, and Kira Maginnis. They were out of California. It's Not That We're Lazy (8th place) was the top team from Michigan. (Of course, they were also the worst team from Michigan.) Playing out of Mark Conger's Ann Arbor home, Lazy featured seven other members: Carol Mohr, Paul Greiner, Anna Gustitus, Anna's friend Emily (who they pretended came back from Rome JUST to play with them), Carson Rizor, Eric Abrams, and Andy Blumson. 9th-place EAT AT (J)OE'S began life as a 6-person team from Santa Clara, California, before slowly dribbling down to the hardy threesome of Maggie Heaman, Joe Francis, and Greg Horner.
Coming in 10th was We Have Your Trophy, a smallish group of 5 former Final Battle/Part IV people (who got even more smallish as the night went on, as attrition left them with just 2 all-night players). They really DID have possession of the Chicago 60609 trophy, awarded to the winning team since 1984. They finally released it from captivity at the Baxter ceremony. This meant that Spring 2003 winners Click Here to Get Huge got to keep and cherish their trophy for approximately twenty seconds, while transferring it directly from Part IV to Mortal Wombat.
The book-vending Tasmanian Treebiters (Chris and Deb Aylott) made a return appearance from middle Massachusetts, finishing 11th. Across the continent in Pacific time were Fine Italian Atmosphere, the pair of Bob and Christia Galloway. Their 12th-place finish was the result of the twosome being a bit overwhelmed by the content, but as Christia said, "It was fun... yay!" Bob added, "Too much good stuff! Can't choose!" Despite the deluge, they hung in there all night.
The 1970s kingpins BOMO were back again, represented by Steve Wertimer '77 and Tom Gardner '79. As they point out, they seem destined for 13th place. The January 2004 contest was BOMO's 7th since their reincarnation, and they've finished in 13th four times. This was BOMO's second 100-point performance since their heyday, but despite their slick trivial teamwork, Wertimer and Gardner haven't actually seen one another in 20 years!
Stuffed With Pastries (14th) was the team of Trivia's archival generalissimo Toby Elliott and Jen Lehoczky-Elliott, plus "local recruits." 15th-place Bite My Shiny Metal Ass was Arielle Masters and hubby Shawn (until he sleepily opted for Inaction Trivia, with his pillow). Their two shiny kids joined the fray around 6:30am, but were unable to provide assistance; in May 2003, they did get one answer. Hopkins Unplugged (16th) were, in the words of Matt Spencer, "a team of poor unwitting suckers who happened to be sitting in Hopkins living room when I walked in having just picked up the first super bonus {Wizard of Oz}. They agreed to listen, and proceeded to get hooked, with most staying until 4." They played out of.... wait for it.... Hopkins.
Uvula of Mass Destruction (also 16th) were the ultimate long-distance team: Todd Pelkey in southern California, his sister Lynn in New Jersey, and Jeff Somers in Boston. Willy A (18th) were a freshman entry playing from, surprise, Williams A. This was not clear for much of the night, when the team was rather unfortunately listed as "A Willy." The mistaken name arguably made them a perfect match for their fellow 18th-place team, Bizarre Vagina Request. Alas, further details about the latter team are (cough) a black hole.
The Manhattan Skyliners (20th) were the Manhattan Skyliners.
Press 1 for Goats (21st) were the only on-campus representatives of the 1994-2003 Elvis/Tongue/Immunity/etc. dynasty, who were scattered to the winds this semester. Some of them played long-distance, some of them heeded the call to help run the contest, some of them no-showed, and 5 of them were Goats. They promise to take on corporeal form and return, like Voldemort.
Whiff of Old Toby (22nd) was Jon Young in Atlanta, while Jon and Tom Tomlinson kept their longtime lecherous doppleganger name alive: We Keep Getting Older, But the Girls on Campus Stay the Same Age (24th). My Yoga-lates Just Got a Faceful of Dong (23rd) was easily the Healiest team of the night, featuring Jason Healy, his wife Amy, his brother-in-law, and Jason's dad. Only Jason had ever tackled Williams Trivia before, but the family unit stayed the course until technical snafus knocked them out of play.
No Preparation Required (28th) had the most unusual scoresheet of the night, as their 10 points were entirely due to seven impromptu Action Trivia performances. They did nothing else in the contest.
Other repeat team names from the past were Roger Clemens is a Pussy; I Want to Touch the Llama; and Trotsky, If You're Taking the 7:00 am Dive, We're Going to Kill You. Apparently this semester, Homer was not evil; David Duchovny's stalker is in custody; Bill didn't want to play too; no one mewled, had eyes that watered, or were Sallys; Jeff McMahon's loyalty was not in question; Adam Bloom was nowhere nowhere nowhere; and everybody pretty much liked grapes.
HEAD-TO-HEAD TOTALS FOR THE TOP 2 TEAMS:
ON-AIRS: Wombat 183, Hindenburgs 179
SUPER 1 (Oz audio)-- Wombat 20, Hindenburgs 16
SUPER 2 (Radio)-- Wombat 15, Hindenburgs 11
HOUR 1 (Sgt Pepper)-- Wombat 7, Hindenburgs 4
HOUR 2 (Skyliners)-- Wombat 6, Hindenburgs 6
HOUR 3 (Williams Pics)-- Wombat 9, Hindenburgs 8
HOUR 4 (TV Themes)-- Wombat 8, Hindenburgs 7
HOUR 5 (Conquering Heroes)-- Wombat 7, Hindenburgs 6
HOUR 6 (Days audio)-- Wombat 6, Hindenburgs 5
HOUR 7 (Movie Stills)-- Wombat 9, Hindenburgs 7
HOUR 8 (Yesterday)-- Wombat 6, Hindenburgs 6
ACTION 1 (Sox-Yanks)-- Wombat 5, Hindenburgs 4
ACTION 2 (Trivia frat)-- Wombat 4, Hindenburgs 5
ACTION 3 (Thinkers Gone Wild)-- Wombat 4, Hindenburgs 5
ACTION 4 (Silent MTV video)-- Wombat 4, Hindenburgs 3
ACTION 5 (Bible DVD Extras)-- Wombat 4, Hindenburgs 3
ACTION 6 (Poetry slam)-- Wombat 3, Hindenburgs 4
ACTION 7 (Hilton sock porn)-- Wombat 3, Hindenburgs 4
ULTRA-- Wombat 8, Hindenburgs 8
STAGGERED PUZZLE-- Wombat 9, Hindenburgs 13