| 1. | "Here's the story.... of a man named..." | "Brady Bunch" theme by the Brady Brats |
| 2. | "O." | "Oh Yeah," by Yello |
| 3. | "J." | "Rockin' Robin," by Michael Jackson |
| 4. | "...a football star..." | "Jack and Diane," by John Cougar |
| 5. | "...touchdown..." | "Last Game of the Season (A Blind Man in the Bleachers)," by David Geddes |
| 6. | "...hero..." | "Juke Box Hero," by Foreigner |
| 7. | "...gonna get married..." | "Chapel of Love," by the Dixie Cups |
| 8. | "love stinks!" | "Love Stinks," by the J. Geils Band |
| 9. | "hurt me!" | "Hurt Me, Hurt Me (But The Pants Stay On)," by Samantha Fox |
| 10. | "bang! bang!" | "The Warrior," by Scandal |
| 11. | "knock me down...." | "Hit Me with Your Best Shot," by Pat Benatar |
| 12. | "....hard on me" | "Love's Been a Little Bit Hard on Me," by Juice Newton |
| 13. | "I don't love you anymore...." | "He Thinks He'll Keep Her," by Mary-Chapin Carpenter |
| 14. | "If I had the chance, I'd have to take her back" | "Use Ta Be My Girl," by the O'Jays (doh!) |
| 15. | "AAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!" | "Copacabana," by Barry Manilow |
| 16. | "Aieee-yi-yi-yiiiii...." | "Psycho Killer," by the Talking Heads |
| 17. | "....had to kill her" | "I Used to Love Her (But I Had to Kill Her)," by Guns N Roses |
| 18. | "you know I caught her messin' around with another man" | "Hey Joe," by the Jimi Hendrix Experience |
| 19. | "slaughtered, gutted and heartbroken...." | "Slaughtered, Gutted, and Heartbroken," by Squeeze |
| 20. | "....know when to run" | "The Gambler," by Kenny Rogers |
| 21. | "....goin' in a car, just a-movin' out of town" | "Southbound," by Stan Ridgeway |
| 22. | "by golly, it's clear clean to Flagtown" | "Convoy," by C.W. McCall |
| 23. | "...gonna take that California trip...." | "Route 66," by Depeche Mode |
| 24. | "nobody's gonna slow me down" | "Highway to Hell," by AC/DC |
| 25. | "no more speed, I'm almost there" | "Radar Love," by Golden Earring |
| 26. | "surrender yourself" | "Hanging on a Heart Attack," by Device |
| 27. | "surrender!" | "Surrender," by Cheap Trick |
| 28. | "pickin' up prisoners, and puttin' 'em in a pen" | "All She Wants to Do is Dance," by Don Henley |
| 29. | "lawyers...." | "Lawyers, Guns, and Money" by Warren Zevon |
| 30. | "lawyers...." | "Lawyers in Love," by Jackson Browne |
| 31. | "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!" | A distraught Jan Brady, from "The Brady Bunch" |
| 32. | "a girl, a makeover" | "Brand New Girl," by Julie Brown |
| 33. | "Rico" | "Rico Suave," by Gerardo |
| 34. | "This judge is hip!" | "Here Comes De Judge," by Pigmeat Markham |
| 35. | "I really think so" | "Turning Japanese," by the Vapors |
| 36. | "....the moocher..." | "Minnie the Moocher," by Cab Calloway |
| 37. | "you pay my rent" | "Rent," by the Pet Shop Boys |
| 38. | "....California...." | "California Girls," by David Lee Roth |
| 39. | "Baby, you're the ginchiest!" | "Kookie, Kookie, Lend Me Your Comb," by Edd "Kookie" Byrnes & Connie Stevens |
| 40. | (crazed) "Huh-HOO-hoo-hoo-ha-ha!" | "Wipe Out," by the Surfaris |
| 41. | "The evidence...." | "The Trial," by Pink Floyd |
| 42. | "....DNA...." | "Mr. DNA," by Devo |
| 43. | "....all my tubes and wires" | "She Blinded Me with Science," by Thomas Dolby |
| 44. | "....100% not guilty" | O.J. Simpson pleads "not guilty" |
| 45. | "now would I say something that wasn't true?" | "Would I Lie To You?" by the Eurythmics |
| 46. | "you are guilty (guilty!)" | "Drama," by Erasure |
| 47. | "you are guilty, yeah" | "The Electric Chair," by Prince |
| 47. | "hoomph! hah! (with clunking sounds)" | "Chain Gang," by Sam Cooke |
| 48. | "they oughta take a rope and hang me" | "Dang Me," by Roger Miller |
| 49. | "this ever-changing..." | "Live and Let Die," by Paul McCartney & Wings |
| 50. | "....never-ending story...." | "The Never-Ending Story," by Limahl |
| 51. | "....it will still go on and on and on and on and on...." | "We Didn't Start the Fire," by Billy Joel |
| 52. | 6 stirring notes | "ESPN Sportscenter" theme |