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The following was handed out along with Hour Bonus #1 and Super Bonus #1 by Can't.... Do.... Plaid.... (thud), in an attempt to smooth over the ever- unwieldy Reading of the Rules that traditionally eats up most of the on-air introduction time.

The Rules of the 58th Semi-Annual Williams Trivia Contest

presented by "Can't Do Plaid!"

HOW TO WIN:

Score the most points by answering trivia questions, identifying obscure songs, and doing silly things.

WHO'S PLAYING:

Trivia is played in teams, which can be of any size, and have historically ranged in size from one person to fifty or more. Most Trivia teams range from five to twenty-five people in size.

Trivia teams are classified as "small" or "large" teams. The size designation is intended to prevent teams with less phones and manpower from being shut out of the phones by larger teams by giving "small" teams exclusive use of some phone lines. The criterion for large and small teams will be announced over the air at the beginning of the contest.

Each team must select a name for itself and tell it to the contest runners during the first question of the contest, along with some contact information like a phone number and location in case of administrative difficulties. Names can range from the dull and descriptive ("East 3"), to the annoying ("The Eastie Boys") to the sublime ("Apes Don't Read Philosophy"). Many names are weird, trivial quotes.

WHERE TO FIND THINGS:

The contest is run from the WCFM radio station and its related areas in the basement of Baxter Hall. The contest runners take phone answers in the production studio, the contest is broadcast from pretty much where you'd expect a radio broadcast from, and Action Trivias are judged in the Rathskellar. Written boni can be picked up immediately outside the radio studio. To get into Baxter, go around to the back near the loading dock, where a door will be left open for the duration of the contest.

WHAT TO DO:

This contest will run from 12:01 a.m. to 8:00 a.m. Saturday, May 13, and will include Regular Questions, Action Trivia, Hour Boni, Audio Boni, Super Boni and the dreaded Ultra Bonus.

REGULAR QUESTIONS:

Regular Questions constitute the bulk of the contest. They are read over the radio, one after the other. There are usually 90- 100 Regular Questions in current contests. The questions are read in the following format:

Realm: Aaron Spelling, Master of Television
Subrealin: Dumber than 90210
Question: What does "B.A.D.CATS" stand for?

The question is read twice, and a song is played (e.g. "Drive-By Love" by The Bobs). While the song is being played, teams may call the phone numbers listed above and answer the questions. In the example above, a team would call in and tell the phone staffer that B.A.D.CATS stands for "Burglary Auto Detail, Commercial Auto Thefts", and that the song is "Drive-By Love", sung by The BOBS.

One number will be a "no-hints line". You can call this number if you know the answer immediately and want to make sure you get the points for it (it sucks to know the answer and have all the phone lines be busy). Obviously, no hints are given on this line.

There will also be occasional "Three-point Plays", where providing extra information will net you another point.

THINGS TO REMEMBER:

1. Do not call the station before the song begins. You will be hung up on. Call only during the song.
2. Guessing and getting hints from the phone staff is a traditional and fun part of Trivia.
3. There are frequently hints embedded in the questions and songs. In the example above, the Realm and Subrealm point the listener to the fact that "B.A.D.CATS" was a particularly odious and shortlived Aaron Spelling TV series. The song itself suggests that the answer has something to do with automobiles.

THE HOUR BONI:

Every hour on the hour, a written Hour Bonus is made available at the radio station. Each team sends someone down to the station to pick up the bonus and bring it back to wherever the team is playing. The team has one hour to complete as much of the bonus as they can and return it. The first Hour Bonus will be handed out a few minutes after the midnight start time of the contest, and a full hour is still allotted to complete it.

An Hour Bonus is usually several pages of questions on a single subject. Occasionally it will take a somewhat... different... form (one common form is below). Any necessary instructions will be provided with the Bonus.

THINGS TO REMEMBER:

1. Always put your team name on EVERY page of the bonus.
2. It's okay to guess. You may not get points, but you certainly won't lose them.

AUDIO BONI:

Audio Boni are the most common variants of Hour Boni. There are three Audio Boni in this contest, as well as an audio section to one of the Superboni. We're in a sadistic mood tonight....

We will play each Audio Bonus twice. Each team should have a tape recorder ready to capture the Bonus both times that it is played.

An Audio Bonus is created by editing together 20-25 items on a tape. Each item is a sound or short fragment of music. The items are related by the subject of the Audio Bonus, and the resulting tape is usually 2-3 minutes long.

To answer the bonus, a team must provide certain information about each sound fragment, usually identifying its title and creator. The identifications are written down on a sheet of paper (don't forget to write your team name on it) and must be turned in at the radio station according to the usual Hour Bonus deadline.

SUPER BONI:

A Super Bonus is a very long written bonus similar to the Hour Bonus -- they are picked up at the same location, and have a similar format. But they're a LOT longer. Super Boni usually cover wider topics than Hour Boni, do so in more depth, and are worth more points.

There are 2 Super Boni. The first is issued at midnight and due at 4 a.m., while the second is issued at 4 a.m. and due at 8 a.m. You'll probably need every minute.

ACTION TRIVIA:

Action Trivia are announced over the air every hour on the half-hour. Teams are allotted one hour to prepare the bonus and arrive at the radio station ready to present it.

Action Trivia usually take the form of a re-enactment of a scene from movies, television or current events. It frequently has an imaginative or creative element in combining two separate items or imagining "possible" twists on familiar scenes. Past Action Trivia have included: show what Richard Nixon would have been like as a rapper, present the barfight scene from the Star Trek episode "The Trouble with Tribbles", or act out an entire Shakespeare play in three minutes.

Action Trivia are graded based on faithfulness to the source material (i.e. accurate quoting of lines and presentation of events in the play, scene, or news item) and creativity in costuming, props and presentation. A carefree disregard for one's safety, sanity and dignity is encouraged.

THINGS TO REMEMBER:

1. If you even attempt the Action Trivia, you get a point.
2. While some Action Trivia may seemingly require a cast of thousands, it is very possible to do well with only one player presenting the whole show.

THE ULTRABONUS:

The Ultrabonus is sort of odd. Every hour on the hour, we will announce three clues over the radio. There are a total of 24 clues, and each clue is a word or short phrase. The answer to the Ultrabonus is the relationship between the clues, which must be figured out as quickly as possible.

The earlier a team submits the correct answer, the more points they get. The value of the Ultrabonus is traditionally secret.

You should submit clues by marking a scrap of paper with your team name, the word "Ultrabonus," and your guess. It is okay to guess multiple times on one sheet of paper. The guess(es) are then taken down to the station, where they will be received and logged by a contest runner. You may send as many guesses as you like.

The fact that a team has correctly guessed the Ultrabonus will NOT be announced. Also, teams score points for correct answers regardless of whether or not somebody else has already gotten the answer.

THINGS TO REMEMBER:

1. Since teams can guess as often as they like, write down and send in any idea or suggestion, no matter how wild or improbable. It might be right.
2. Always write your team name on the answer!

SCORING:

Regular Questions: 1 point for answering each question, 1 point for identifying each song played. Extra points are sometimes possible.

Hour Boni: 10 points are available for each Hour Bonus. There are 8 Hour Boni.
Audio Boni: are scored as Hour Boni. There are usually 2 Audio Boni among the Hour Boni.
Super Boni: 25 points are available for each Super Bonus. There are 2 Super Boni.
Action Trivia: 5 points are available for each Action Trivia. There are 7 Action Trivia.
Ultra Bonus: You do not have security clearance for that information, citizen. Fnord.

We will announce all Bonus scores on the radio shortly after the deadline for the bonus, after all entries have been collected and graded.

Good luck ... and never forget to HUG YOUR DESTINY!