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O' Canada

Perky 'Canada' Has Own Government, Laws

(A map of Canada was shown, with the capital, "Canada City," helpfully highlighted.)

It's Monday morning, and Toronto resident Steve Dorman shares a quick breakfast of "eggs" (a native food) with his "wife" (an officially state-sanctioned mate), and discusses yesterday's poor showing by the hometown team in "baseball" (a popular local sport). After a kiss on his wife's cheek, he hops on the "subway train" (a mode of subterranean transport) to the office.

This is life in exotic Canada City, the capital set deep in the heart of the mysterious land known as Canada (pronounced CAN-a-da).

Like his estimated 35,000 fellow countrymen, Dorman is proud to be a "Canadian." Located 120 miles north of Buffalo, NY, Canada is, according to Dorman, "a nation with a government and laws distinct from those of the United States." It also has a military, a system of taxation, and periodic free elections to select political leaders. It even has its own currency, says Dorman, various denominations of "dollars" that can be exchanged for the many products manufactured in Canada, including Canadian bacon and ice.

Canada City, Canada's largest conununity, is located in a place called a "province," a subdivision not unlike the cantons of Switzerland. There are 10 Canadian provinces in all, from Nova Scotia in the east to British Columbia in the west. And, much like America's states, nearly every one of the provinces has its own capital. But make no mistake--there's nothing provincial about these provinces. Canada has both feet planted firmly in the 20th century.

"In fact, Canadians enjoy advancements such as refrigerated food, zippers and printing," notes Dorman, an "accountant" who goes to work wearing the comfortable trousers, dress shirt and necktie that form a traditional Canadian costume, "Our industries are large and varied, ranging from logging to automobile manufacturing."

Not too shabby for a nation that just 240 years ago had no electricity.

Did You Know...

...that Canada is known as the "Maple Leaf State"?
... that in Canadian Units, Canada is actually a larger land mass than the U.S.?
... that murder is illegal in Canada?
... that the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) also mentions Canada in several clauses?
... that Canadians have evolved with a fully functioning pancreas?

O'Canada Bonus -- a tribute to our Northern Neighbors


  1. When was the city of Quebec last besieged by enemy forces?

  2. Why were Canadian troops dispatched to the, Klondike in 1898?

  3. Who was the WWI Canadian pilot credited with shooting down the "Red Baron"?

  4. What current provinces were once called "upper" and "lower" Canada?

  5. Who are the Metis?

  6. The group now known as Louisiana Cajuns are descendents of what group of Canadians?


  1. How many provinces and territories are there in Canada?

  2. What is the oldest National Park in Canada?

  3. The name of what province derived from an Algonquin term for "place where the river narrows"?

  4. There are six mountain ranges in Canada, name three.

  5. What is the tallest peak in Canada?

  6. What is the largest lake entirely within Canada?

  7. What is the longest river in Canada?

That's Entertainment, ch?:

  1. Combining 19th and 20th century traditions of romantic and idyllic prose, what writer was the most-read of his/her era, with 16-volume chronicle of the Whiteoak family ?

  2. What were the "Group of Seven"?

  3. What Canadian author, who has won the Governor General's Literary Award three times, is best known for writing from the point of view of an adolescent girl and for frequently addressing themes of particular interest to women?

  4. In the movie "Canadian Bacon" what was the name of the company which had made arms for the US government during the Cold War, including the "Hellstorm"?

  5. What Canadian poet was also the head of the Department of Indian Affairs?

  6. Which one of the "Home Improvement" kids is Canadian? (Give his real name.)

  7. Who was Rex Reed describing when he said that "her hair is shiny and gleaming as a stallion's mane, her eyes big and brown as chocolate lawbreakers, her tiny mouth a rosebud of surprise. Packed into her five-foot, four-inch doll's frame is an intriguing mixture of purloined innocence, succulent sexuality, and guerrilla warfare"?

  8. Probably the most famous Canadian writer of the year, he was offered position next semester as writer-in-residence at Williams, but has decided to turn it down (no doubt offers were flooding in).

  9. What Canadian gave Charlie Chaplin and the Keystone Cops their start, and is hence the creator of Hollywood slapstick?

Only in Canada:

  1. What Canadian town is home to the world's largest Easter egg?

  2. One dollar coins are called loonies. What are $2 coins called?

  3. What color is a $10 bill?

  4. What Color are public mailboxes?

  5. What is "poutine?"

  6. What is the beloved Canadian delicacy of fried dough with maple syrup called?

  7. How many pins are used in Canadian bowling?

  8. "People of the Country" is the unofficial anthem of what province?

  9. When is Canadian Thanksgiving?

  10. Sir Sanford Flemming created the first postage stamp, a three penny stamp featuring what abundant Canadian resource?

  11. What is the provincial flower of Newfoundland?

  12. What uniquely Canadian symbols are on the Canadian $50 bill?

  13. In what type of container is milk sold (different from the way milk is sold in the US)?

  14. According to-extensive research conducted by Derek Hays '97 in Quebec City, under what name is the popular candy "Nerds" sold there?

  15. Name the (English-speaking) Canadian MTV,

  16. Montreal bagels only come in two varieties. Name them

  17. How do Canadians refer to the Prarie Provinces?

  18. What is the Quebec Air Force?

  19. If we tacked this bonus to a wall in Montreal, why might we be fined?

  20. What is the infamous clause in the Canadian constitution that allows Quebec to get away with absolutely anything?

Famous last words:

  1. Which Canadian Prime Minister said that the 20th century would belong to Canada?

  2. Prime Minister Pierre Elliott Trudeau was accused of using profanity in Parliament, but claimed to have only said what?

  3. Henry Hudson set off to find the northwest passage, but instead found Hudson Bay. How did he die?

  4. Who said, "I will answer with the mouth of my guns!"

  5. On what date was "O Canada" proclaimed the Canadian National Anthem?

  6. Please tell us the first verse of the Canadian national anthem.

Canadian Music:

  1. The US had USA for Africa, belting out "We Are The World". Britain had Band-Aid. What did Canada have?

  2. What's the Canadian equivalent of the Grammy?

  3. Name any five of the authors mentioned in the Bargainville version of "Bunch of Authors" by Moxy Fruvous.

  4. What experience did Tom Cochrane credit with inspiring his one big US hit, "Life is a Highway"?

  5. What lyricist for the band Max Webster had a hand in penning such Rush hits as "Tom Sawyer", "Force Ten", and "Between Sun and Moon"?

  6. On the Barenaked Ladies album "Gordon," Ed Page reveals the nasty nickname the kids in high school called him. What was it?

  7. What did the Canadian group Sheriff do after their song "When I'm with You" became a big hit in the US?

  8. What two Canadians recently turned down their induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame by condemning the commercialism of the event and the cost of admission, a meager $1250 per person?

  9. Who has been hailed by critics as Canada's Tori Amos?

  10. Which alternative Canadian musician was a microbiologist until the age of 32, and then decided to pursue her dreams of a career in music?

  11. What is the name of the Leonard Cohen tribute album, which consists of covers of Cohen songs by contemporary bands like R.E.M.?

  12. What Canadian songstress made an appearance in "The Puppy Episode" of the sitcom "Ellen"?

The Red Green Show:

  1. Where is the popular Canadian sitcom, The Red Green Show set?

  2. While much of the Red Green Show is focused on "manly men" and their "manly men things" Red shows his softer side by reading poetry or singing songs. Where does he do this?

  3. What is the name of Red's nephew?

  4. Red started a restaurant called "I can't believe it's not chicken." He served his trademark "I can't believe it's not chicken" for just pennies. What happened to the restaurant?

  5. Kids in the Hall: so good, so, so good... Name all of the Kids in the Hall.

  6. What did Prince Andrew tell the Queen to make her make a fool of herself on Canadian television?

  7. What is the name of the flamboyant gay bar/night club owner from Kids in the Hall?

  8. What was the name of the Kids in the Hall movie?

  9. Evan sells shoes. He sells shoes for Satan. How do you get the right size shoe from Evan?

  10. What regular character appeared wrapped only in a bath towel?

  11. Who wrote the theme song to Kids in the Hall?

  12. What is the title of the theme song?

  13. What is the name of the hated and despised temp from Kids in the Hall?

  14. Who was the Chicken Lady's best friend?

  15. After Cabbage Head was shot in the head by militant feminist terrorists, what did he discover in Heaven?

  16. The Flying Pig and Son of Flying Pig brought joy to people who were doing what?


  1. In the film "Strange Brew," the MacKenzie brothers had a scam for getting free beer. What was their scam?

  2. Give the first names of the MacKenzie Bros.

  3. What are the names of the actors who played them?

  4. What is the name of their dog?

  5. When Bob had to stay up all night studying for an exam, what did he do?

  6. What was the name of the SCHMENGE Brothers film?

  7. Who was Dr. Tongue's sidekick?

  8. Who was the host of Monster Chiller Horror Theatre?

  9. Ed Grimley, beloved SCTV character, was reborn on the American sketch comedy show, Saturday Night Live. It was on this show that Ed discovered the identity of his father. Who was Ed Grimley's father?

You Can't Do That On Television:

  1. What two things did Moose suggest Kevin (Kubesheskie) take when he went camping, and why?

  2. In the infamous 'multiple slime' episode, which colors of slime were NOT used: red slime, green slime, blue slime, orange slime, striped slime, purple slime, yellow slime?

  3. What words triggered the green slime?

  4. Who played all the adult male characters on the show?

  5. What was the name of the family on YCDTOTV?

  6. How did one enterprising student use a Walkman do get out of detention?

  7. When Kevin Kubesheskie decided he would go off and become famous, what did he chose for his stage name?

  8. What was Moose's real first name?

  9. What was the name of the arcade owner?


  1. Canadians love their beer, and many have elevated it to an art form. Three times as many microbreweries have popped up in this decade compared with last decade, thus allowing Canadians to love their beer and now, get to talk a lot about their beer. Define the following terms.

  2. Firkin:

  3. Bock:

  4. Reinheitsgebot:

  5. Hops:

  6. Canadians take their beer seriously, which one of these Molsons is not real.


  1. What sport/past time is called the "roaring game"?

  2. What is Canada's national sport?

  3. What event marked the opening day of the Toronto Blue Jays' inaugural season?

  4. In what sport did the "Crazy Canucks" compete?

  5. Where were the "original six" NHL teams from?

  6. Ice hockey is probably a descendant of what sport developed in England in the late 18th century, but is now played only in the Baltic countries, Sweden, and Russia and the other successor states of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR)?

  7. Rules for hockey were set by students at what university, in 1879?

  8. When and where was the National Hockey League formed?

  9. Where did the Stanley cup get its name?

  10. Who is Maurice Richard?

  11. What was his nickname?

  12. What father and son have both won the NHL MVP award?

  13. How much does a standard curling stone weigh?

  14. How many stones must be "delivered" to complete an "en&'?

  15. How many "ends" constitute a game?

  16. What is the purpose of the broom?

Dead, Canadian, Both, Neither:

are these people dead, canadian, both or neither?

  1. Alan Thicke
  2. Michael J. Fox
  3. William Shatner
  4. Alan Ladd
  5. Lome Greene
  6. Michael Landon
  7. Ann Murray
  8. Jann Arden
  9. Pamela Anderson Lee
  10. Jim Carrey
  11. Northrop Frye
  12. Rip Tom
  13. Jacques Villaneuve
  14. Mario Andretti
  15. Gordon Smiley
  16. Willie Shoemaker
  17. David Duchovny
  18. Mary Pickford
  19. Jay Silverheels
  20. Raymond Buff
  21. Conrad Bain
  22. Andy Gibb
  23. John Candy
  24. Vanna White
  25. Alex Trebek
  26. Shania Twain
  27. Walter Huston
  28. Raymond Massey
  29. Keanu Reeves
  30. David @ers
  31. Glenn Ford
  32. Tommy Chong