| Place | Score | Name |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | 308 | Neutered Vampires Who Cheat at Kitten Poker |
| 2 | 289 | Please Don't Shoot the Violist |
| 3 | 225 | Dead Squirrels Can't Jump |
| 4 | 172 | Thirsty Goat Blowers |
| 5 | 153 | Chlamydia is Not a Flower |
| 6 | 119 | Sage F |
| 7 | 92 | Psychiatric Help 5 Cents |
| 8 | 76 | BOMO |
| 9 | 75 | Team Squishy Cow |
| 10 | 63 | Cup of Tea, Cup of Tea, Almost Got Shagged, Cup of Tea |
| 11 | 60 | Symphony of the Damned |
| 12 | 57 | Tasmanian Treebiters of the North |
| 13 | 56 | If I Had a Donkey, I'd Name Him "Odie" |
| 14 | 53 | You Could Buy a Whole Lotta Mumms |
| 15 | 28 | Our Feet Hurt, with Destiny |
| 16 | 26 | Still Holding the Damned Anchovies |
| 17 | 25 | Ride of the Valkyries (Daa-daa-daa-DAA-dum) |
| 18 | 10 | Killer Boobies |
| 19 | 8 | Miss Chanandler Bong |
| 20 | 7 | Roger Clemens is a Pussy |
| 20 | 7 | Hyperbolic Pants |
| 22 | 6 | Team Barking Spider |
| 23 | 3 | We Keep Getting Older, But the Girls on Campus Stay the Same Age |
| 23 | 3 | Please Pity the Piccolists |
| 23 | 3 | The Smell of 1,000 Dungworms Mating in the Noonday Sun |
| 26 | 2 | I Say Its Taliban Season, and I Say "Fire!" |
| 26 | 2 | Panda Phone Sex |
| 26 | 2 | Big Mistake 2 |
| 26 | 2 | Bring Me the Head of Kim Cleland |
| 26 | 2 | You Son of Bitch, Canty |
| 26 | 2 | Open Angle Bracket |
| 26 | 2 | Canto, You Goddamn Sally |
| 26 | 2 | Down and Out in Dar-es-Salaam (*from Tanzania) |
| 34 | 1 | I Pee In Your General Direction (*Baby Benson) |
| 34 | 1 | Androids |
| 34 | 1 | Someone is Using the Pus Line for Phone Sex |
| 34 | 1 | Obviously a Major Malfunction (*from Fairbanks, Alaska) |
| 34 | 1 | P-50,584 |
| 34 | 1 | Clarinetists Are Cool |
| 34 | 1 | We Put the "Yun" in Fun |
| 34 | 1 | Bassoonists Blow |
| 34 | 1 | Bill Wants to Play, Too |
| 43 | 0 | Big Mistake 1 |
| 43 | 0 | I Am Evil Homer |
CHANGES FROM THE SCORES ANNOUNCED ON-AIR AT 8:30am:
(However, "If I Had a Donkey" later revealed that they'd inadvertantly handed in the "Teams vs. Teams" bonus an hour late, and did not wish to accept the additional 9 points.)
Adding in the other 5 scores altered four teams' final positions. "Still Holding the Damned Anchovies" rises one spot past "Ride of the Valkyries" to 16th place, and "Tasmanian Treebiters" nip the virtuous "If I Had a Donkey" for 12th.
The December 2001 Williams Trivia contest was heavy on frosh debuts and long-distance veterans, but it was a team of usual suspects who took the trophy.
It was a suspense-free 19-point win for "Neutered Vampires Who Cheat at Kitten Poker." But if it hadn't been for the first Super (The "Soup ER Bone Oz"), this would have been a completely different race. Neutered Vampires outscored runners-up "Please Don't Shoot the Violist" by a 23-10 margin.
Otherwise, the top two teams played extremely evenly for most of the night. Vampires racked up 170 points in on-air questions; Violists scored 169. Vampires got 30 Action points; so did Violists. The teams tied 5-5 in the 4:00am challenge. Violists scored 6 Ultra Bonus points; Vampires 5. The only real differences in the two teams' scores were a 9-5 Vampires edge on the "Superman" audio bonus, a 3-point margin (20-17) on the "Movie Promotions" Super, and the aforementioned 13-point whopper. On those three bonuses alone, Vampires got an extra 20 points. They won it all by 19.
Who were the teams?
Neutered Vampires were Trivia's old friends, the Tupperware/Funk/Elvis/Tongue/Diplomacy/etc. team. Winter 2001 marked their 5th win in 7 years and 10 tries, re-establishing them as the preeminent team of this era.
Violist suffered the odd distinction of finishing in 2nd place for the third consecutive contest, following Spring '01's "I've Got Spain Up My Nose," and Winter 2000's "Not Everyone Can Experience the Glory That is Steve's Mom."
"Dead Squirrels Can't Jump" was an amalgam of undergrad players from various classes, including frosh. Full freshman teams claimed slots #4, #5, and #6, a strong showing that few if any contests can match. (However, the previous Winter's debut champions, frosh team Holy Sack, seem to have dissipated. They did not reform to "defend" their title.)
A succession of long-distance teams took advantage of WCFM's clearer and more real-time internet signal to claim the next eleven (!) spots in the scoring. The long-distance leaders, Psychiatric Help 5 Cents, hailed from California. BOMO (now THREE people from the legendary 1970s team, instead of the lone BOMO-er who'd played the last few games) continued their surprise 21st-century resurrection.
However, BOMO's year-old record for longest gap between appearances was snapped by Hold The Anchovies (now "Still Holding the Damned Anchovies"), returning to contest play for the first time in 24 years (they'd finished 9th in Spring '77). The battle for most distant long-distance team came down to Alaska versus Tanzania.
More weird Trivia records and performances were updated this semester. The Manhattan Skyliners took this semester off. A team claiming to be Josh Benson (the 2-month-old son of Duck Season's Ted Benson) has staked its claim for "youngest player ever." Des Devlin extended his consecutive contests streak to 36 (with equally stupid teammate Dom Grillo not far behind). And the perhaps undersung "Bill Wants to Play Too" continued its thoroughly ignored legacy of intermittently scoring single-digit points, then disappearing. Their 1 point raises the team's lifetime total to maybe 25 points over the past 20 years.