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Bad Taste

HONOR CODE ACTION (worth 1 pt. and Brian's eternal love) I have not attempted to inject any O.J. into this contest.
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Bad Movies

What better way to start a movie section than with a few trailers? Given the trailer, you give the name of the movie it hypes.

    SEE a female colossus...her mountainous torso, skyscraper limbs, giant desires!

    TODAY the Pond!
    TOMORROW the World!

    AN ASTRONAUT WENT UP --
    A "GUESS WHAT" CAME DOWN!
    The picture that comes complete with a 10-foot tall monster to give you the wim-wams!

    It's always better when you come again!

    POWERFUL! SHOCKING! RAW! ROUGH! CHALLENGING! SEE A LITTLE GIRL MOLESTED!

    They Want to Play With You...

    When He Comes...All Hell Breaks Loose

    Good Cop. Bad Alien. Big Trouble.

    They're Not Staying Down There Any Longer.

    Jack Deth is back...and he's never even been here before.

    Hit The Trail..to terror

    Meet the New Bugs on the Block.

    A Boy. A Girl. And His Computer.

OK. What's in even worse taste than bad movies? Bad sequels! Given the series, give the Subtitles for the sequels. For example, if we asked for "Mannequin II" you'd answer "On The Move."

Leonard, Pt. 6

For the penultimate movie question, we turn to bad casting. Ten out of the following thirty pairs of people have been cast together in movies as the romantically linked leads. CIRCLE those ten.

Porn!

  1. According to the porn movie industry inside joke, what are the two things the actress tells the director she won't do?

  2. What magazine was sued big-time by Barbra Streisand for publishing nude photos of her?

  3. Outtakes from what movie provided the source for these pics?

  4. What actor, who played the title character in "Pillowman", is known for, uh, achieving great distance?

  5. What biological reason is rumored to explain his prowess?

  6. Traci Lords made only one movie after she turned 18; thus it's the only one that may be sold legally. Name it.

  7. Probably the most famous porn movie of all time, after "Debbie Does Dallas", is "Deep Throat". Who starred in it?

  8. How did she train for her role?

  9. What is she doing now?

  10. What porn star has also been known as Missy Barsbania, and Raquel Wahl?

  11. What makes "American Garter" (1993) significant in porn history?

  12. The star of this film also had a small role as "Adult film star" in what PG-13 Jessica Lange movie?

  13. This magazine boasts Kaylan Nicole, who is not only its publisher, but regularly appears in strip clubs nationwide.

  14. What is the name of Gallery magazine's annual amateur photography contest?

Bad Sports

Professional Wrestling

  1. By what names were the following wrestlers known before they sold out and joined the heinous WWF?
    1. The Texas Tornado
    2. The Ultimate Warrior
    3. The Blue Blazer
    4. IRS
    5. Paul Bearer
    6. Jimmy Jack Funk

  2. What is the shared nickname of each of the following pairs of wrestlers?
    1. Butch Reed and Jim Duggan
    2. Harley Race and Jerry Lawler
    3. Ric Flair and Buddy Landell

  3. Wrestlemania I, of course, featured the tag-team match of Piper/Orndorff vs. Hogan/Mr. T. But each team was also accompanied to the ring by a "second". Name each of these men.

  4. Nobody has dominated the NWA during its history as the Four Horsemen have. Answer these questions about them:
    1. the original "Minnesota Wrecking Crew" consisted of Ole Anderson and what cousing of his?
    2. the classic Four Horsemen were together until Arn Anderson deserted them; who was his new tag-team partner, and who did the Horsemen replace him with?
    3. what was Tully Blanchard's unique finishing maneuver?

  5. Kevin Sullivan invented the Tower of Doom match so that his team might wrestle Jimmy Garvin's team; who was the "prize"?

  6. Randy Savage's real name is...well, to tell you would give away the answer to this question. What less-successful wrestler is his brother?

  7. The Road Warriors ruled. It's that simple. Answer these questions about them.
    1. who was their manager?
    2. they held the 3-man tag title for the longest time with whom?
    3. what was the subtitle of Starcade the year they faced the Midnight Express in a platform match?

  8. Sting is one of the most successful and popular wrestlers today, but he started off as half of a villainous Legion of Doom ripoff. Name that tag-team, as his partner.

  9. Speaking of villainous Legion of Doom ripoffs...when Vince McMahon couldn't entice the genuine article to defect to the WWF, he made up his own team. What was their name, and who were the original members?

  10. Given the song from one of the WWF's albums, name the wrestler whose theme it served as:
    1. Piledriver
    2. Real American
    3. Grab Them Cakes

  11. Identify the wrestler from the finishing maneuver:
    1. Goodnight Irene
    2. the Camel Clutch
    3. the Scorpion
    4. the Swinging Neckbreaker

  12. What wrestling federation now boasts Hulk Hogan, Mean Gene Okerlund, and many other WWF stars of the '80s? What do the letters of its name stand for? And what was it known as originally, when it was one of the regional sub-groups of the NWA?

  13. What wrestler punched out a reporter from 20/20, reportedly at Vince McMahon's instigation, when it was alleged that wrestling was fake?

  14. The obvious final question--what womens' wrestling organization, which included such favorites as Farmer's Daughter and Jackie Stallone, is the height of bad taste even in the realm of pro wrestling?

Bad TV

  1. This show featured Evie, a wacky human-alien hybrid.

    What tune served as its theme song?

    What was the name for Evie's special ability, which she could use to stop time?

  2. This show featured a wacky Lyle Alzado as a teacher moonlighting as a professional wreslter.

    In one episode, Lyle was afraid a certain NWA star was out to get him. Who?

  3. This show was about a '20s flapper who died and came back as a guardian angel to a wacky family.

    What was the family's name? And, if you're really good, what were all of their first names?

  4. "Cheers" was a great show. However, it spawned a wacky spinoff which was markedly not a great show. It featured the antics of Carla's ex-husband's new family as they attempted to slime their way through middle class life. What is the name of this show?

  5. This show--which is still being broadcast nationally--has Jake, of "Body By Jake" fame, raising a bunch of wacky kids.

    What channel is pathetic enough to subject us to this crap?

  6. This show was the only American sitcom to star a Monty Python alum. It featured the wacky adventures of the ghosts of a dead couple as they reacted to the new family living in their old house - only no one can see them except "Grandpa"!

    Which Python alum starred?

  7. This wild 'n' crazy Saturday morning cartoon gave a little blue face, little blue arms, little blue legs, and a little, tiny blue voice to a national puzzle obsession, thus enabling it to guide a group of kids on a series of wacky advetures as it flew around and used its magical powers to assist them.

  8. This sitcom featured the wacky antics of two alien brothers, Bo and Abe, as they ate a lot, ogled women, drove around in a red Cadillac, and made sarcastic remarks to authority figures. The catch is, when one of them has sex, the other feels it!

  9. This show was wacky, and it sucked. Big time. It was about a guy that invents a robot in the form of a little girl.

  10. This show, which used to be broadcast on USA, was about a slightly-wacky guy learning at the feet of a not-so-wacky ninja on the run.

    Who played their arch-nemesis?

  11. Just as wacky as the other shows mentioned here, yet far more popular and perhaps in even worse taste, was "Dukes of Hazzard". Answer these questions about it:
    1. what cousins took over for Bo and Luke for one season?
    2. what was Roscoe's dog's name?
    3. what did J.D. Hogg's initials stand for, and who was the fine actor who portrayed him?

  12. What pathetic remake of an old show, which is not even a little wacky but stars Rich's cousin, is on the UPN network at 1pm on Saturdays? (Bonus point for naming his cousin)

Star Wars:

What? No doubt you are asking, "But ELVIS, no part of the Star Wars Universe, no matter how miniscule, can be considered anything less than brilliant! Moreover, dudes, what's it doing in the *TV* section? May we direct your attention to the unquestioned nadir of the Star Wars world, the 1978 Christmas Special (rumored to have aired, inexplicably, in February)...

  1. First off: we learn the names of Chewbacca's wife, father, and son. His wife's name is Mala, and his father is named, God help us all, Itchy. What's his son's name?

  2. Match the Special Guest Stars to their parts in this unholy performance.

    A. Harvey Korman -- Local trader and friend of Chewie's family; brings Itchy a highly erotic VR-cart as a present
    B. Bea Arthur -- Object of Itchy's cybersex sequence; backgrounded by swirling psychedelic patterns, a la Inna-God-Da-Davida; says, "I am your experience. So experience me!"
    C. Art Carney -- Owner of cantina on Tattooine; does a song and dance routine to get everyone to leave; it works.
    D. Diane Carroll -- A Julia Child-esque character on a "wallscreen" cooking program; prepares Bantha Surprise.
    E. Jefferson Starship -- Appears as a holographic projection; entertains Imperial Officer with an eight minute song
    F. Mark Hamill -- First person to actually speak English -- over ten minutes into the show (no subtitles); notably wearing more eye makeup than anyone else
    G. Carrie Fisher -- Sings for all the Wookies at the Life Day celebration -- ending with a lyricization of the Star Wars Theme
    H. Harrison Ford -- Plays the love interest for the cantina owner; drinks by pouring liquid directly into top of head

  3. The 1978 Christmas Special featured a Very Special Animated Sequence. What character, which did not appear in Star Wars in 1977, but did appear in later movies, did this animated short introduce?

Ren & Stimpy:

DISCLAIMER: R&S DOESN'T SUCK IN ANY WAY...IN FACT, IT RULES. BUT YOU HAVE TO ADMIT IT'S IN PRETTY BAD TASTE.

  1. First off, what were Ren & Stimpy's full names?

  2. Ren's cousin appeared on one show. What was his name?

  3. Who provided the voice of the Pope for one Powdered Toast Man sketch, and what warning did Powdered Toast Man give the Pope so that he might fly the Primate home safely?

  4. Stimpy's copy of "Happy Happy Joy Joy" is by what singer?

  5. What brand of cat litter does Stimpy love?

  6. Who is Stimpy's favorite TV star?

  7. Of what collection does Stimpy boast, "I picked them myself"?

  8. Who is the creator of R&S, and what is he currently doing?

Bad Music

White Rap

  1. What's Vanilla Ice's real name?

  2. From the 'pathetically easy' file: what song is sampled in "Ice Ice Baby"?

  3. What was the name of his second album, which found him sporting poseur dredlocks?

  4. What trio was led by MC Serch?

  5. We all remember the song "Informer". Boy, did it suck. Who sang it, and what album did it appear on?

  6. According to the artist, what does the overly-repeated mantra "a licky boom-boom down" mean?

    What circumstances prompted him to compose this little ditty?

  7. Even though this guy DOESN'T suck, his name is still in pretty bad taste (hence its coolness). Who is responsible for the songs "Truth Is Out of Style" and "If I Only Had A Brain"?

Stupid Celebrities

Match each of the celebrities in the following list to a song which they covered exceptionally poorly. Some songs may be done by more than one celebrity.

  1. If I Were A Carpenter
  2. I Can't Get No Satisfaction
  3. Try a Little Tenderness
  4. Peace in the Valley
  5. I Walk the Line
  6. Tumbling Tumbleweeds
  7. Give Peace A Chance
  8. Theme from "Shaft"

Bad Album Covers

On the following three pages, identify the album NAME AND ARTIST/GROUP from the extremely poor cover. Enjoy.

Random Bad Stuff:

Things People Say And Do That Get Them In Trouble:

  1. What did Jesse Jackson apparently call NYC, leading to a famous sketch on Saturday Night Live?

  2. Sebastien Bach of Skid Row got in big big trouble for wearing a T-Shirt sporting a parody of a famous ad campaign. What was his slogan?

    What phrase did he compare it to by analogy in his public apology?

  3. Given the quote, name the dumb-ass politician:
    1. "We have every mixture you can have. I have a black, I had a woman, two Jews and a cripple."
    2. "Sure, I look like a white man. But my heart is as black as anyone's here."
    3. "If a person is innocent of a crime, then he is not a suspect."

  4. The politician quoted in part (a) above also declared that he didn't think conservation was important. What was his reasoning?

  5. Recently, "Free Willy 2" was released on videotape. There was a very short-lived promotional discount in association with another company. Name that other company.

  6. The Macauley Culkin Memorial Bad Taste Question:
    No Bad Taste bonus would be complete without a question on Macauley Culkin. Thus: name the only movie that ruled that lil' Mac was ever in. Hint: he was uncredited, and played the deceased son of the protagonist.

Bad Food:

Dammit, answer these questions about SPAM!
  1. What company produces SPAM?
  2. Name all 10 ingredients in SPAM:
  3. What product is advertised with the line "It's SPAM!...but it SPREADS!"
  4. Who said "We had lost our most fertile, food-bearing lands. Without SPAM, we wouldn't have been able to feed our army?"
  5. What does "SPAM" stand for?
  6. In what country is SPAM a gift as prized as jewelry or whisky?
  7. Please list the entire bill of fare at the Green Midget Cafe:
  8. What US state buys the most SPAM?

Bad Fashion.

Bad Writing

Bad Books

  1. Blanche Knott, that "truly tasteless" compiler, has 23 short volumes to her name. name them.

  2. This coffee-table book parades the visions of the bad taste Capital of the World (some would say), with an introduction by Kenny Rogers. (Text: Rick Browne and James Marshall; Collins Publishers, 1995

  3. This book was "Rated X by an All-Whyte Jury." Written by Darius James (a.k.a.________________), it provides encyclopedic coverage of the "Roots of the Babdasss 'Tude." Give the author's alias and the name of this book.

  4. This book, written by Kenji Kawakami in 1995, is subtitled "the Art of Chindogu." Its editor, Hugh Fearnley-Whitingstall, describes himself as a pathological mail-order fanatacist.

  5. This book, entitled _Immoral Tales,_ was published in October 1995 by authors Cathal Tohill and Pete Tombs, through publisher St. Martins Griffin. It is an encyclopeida of what?

  6. This book by Joey Green, ("never advertised on television,") offers suggestions according to its subtitle "...and hundreds of offbeat uses for brandname products." What is its title?

Essay:

Finally,