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Bad Taste

HONOR CODE ACTION (worth 1 pt. and Brian's eternal love) I have not attempted to inject any O.J. into this contest.
(sign) ____________________

Bad Movies

What better way to start a movie section than with a few trailers? Given the trailer, you give the name of the movie it hypes.

    SEE a female colossus...her mountainous torso, skyscraper limbs, giant desires!
    Attack of the 50 ft. Woman

    TODAY the Pond!
    TOMORROW the World!
    Frogs

    AN ASTRONAUT WENT UP --
    A "GUESS WHAT" CAME DOWN!
    The picture that comes complete with a 10-foot tall monster to give you the wim-wams!
    Monster A Go-Go

    It's always better when you come again!
    Porky's II

    POWERFUL! SHOCKING! RAW! ROUGH! CHALLENGING! SEE A LITTLE GIRL MOLESTED!
    Never Take Candy From A Stranger

    They Want to Play With You...
    Demonic Toys

    When He Comes...All Hell Breaks Loose
    Warlock

    Good Cop. Bad Alien. Big Trouble.
    I Come In Peace

    They're Not Staying Down There Any Longer.
    C.H.U.D.

    Jack Deth is back...and he's never even been here before.
    Trancers.

    Hit The Trail..to terror
    Grim Prairie Tales

    Meet the New Bugs on the Block.
    (Meet)The Applegates

    A Boy. A Girl. And His Computer.
    Electric Dreams

OK. What's in even worse taste than bad movies? Bad sequels! Given the series, give the Subtitles for the sequels. For example, if we asked for "Mannequin II" you'd answer "On The Move."

Leonard, Pt. 6

For the penultimate movie question, we turn to bad casting. Ten out of the following thirty pairs of people have been cast together in movies as the romantically linked leads. CIRCLE those ten.

Porn!

  1. According to the porn movie industry inside joke, what are the two things the actress tells the director she won't do?
    "anal, and Ron Jeremy."

  2. What magazine was sued big-time by Barbra Streisand for publishing nude photos of her?
    High Society

  3. Outtakes from what movie provided the source for these pics?
    "The Owl and the Pussycat"

  4. What actor, who played the title character in "Pillowman", is known for, uh, achieving great distance?
    Peter North

  5. What biological reason is rumored to explain his prowess?
    two prostates

  6. Traci Lords made only one movie after she turned 18; thus it's the only one that may be sold legally. Name it.
    "We Love You Traci" or the French translation thereof

  7. Probably the most famous porn movie of all time, after "Debbie Does Dallas", is "Deep Throat". Who starred in it?
    Linda Lovelace

  8. How did she train for her role?
    she studied with professional sword-swallowers...I swear

  9. What is she doing now?
    she's an anti-porn activist

  10. What porn star has also been known as Missy Barsbania, and Raquel Wahl?
    Christy Canyon

  11. What makes "American Garter" (1993) significant in porn history?
    it was the comeback film of Seka, one of the most famous porn stars ever

  12. The star of this film also had a small role as "Adult film star" in what PG-13 Jessica Lange movie?
    "Men Don't Leave"

  13. This magazine boasts Kaylan Nicole, who is not only its publisher, but regularly appears in strip clubs nationwide.
    Rave

  14. What is the name of Gallery magazine's annual amateur photography contest?
    the 'Girl Next Door' contest

Bad Sports

Professional Wrestling

  1. By what names were the following wrestlers known before they sold out and joined the heinous WWF?
    1. The Texas Tornado Kerry Von Erich
    2. The Ultimate Warrior The Dingo Warrior
    3. The Blue Blazer Owen Hart
    4. IRS Mike Rotunda OR Michael Wallstreet
    5. Paul Bearer Percy Pringle
    6. Jimmy Jack Funk Jesse Barr

  2. What is the shared nickname of each of the following pairs of wrestlers?
    1. Butch Reed and Jim Duggan Hacksaw
    2. Harley Race and Jerry Lawler The King
    3. Ric Flair and Buddy Landell Nature Boy

  3. Wrestlemania I, of course, featured the tag-team match of Piper/Orndorff vs. Hogan/Mr. T. But each team was also accompanied to the ring by a "second". Name each of these men.
    "Cowboy" (or "Ace") Bob Orton and "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka

  4. Nobody has dominated the NWA during its history as the Four Horsemen have. Answer these questions about them:
    1. the original "Minnesota Wrecking Crew" consisted of Ole Anderson and what cousing of his?
      Gene Anderson
    2. the classic Four Horsemen were together until Arn Anderson deserted them; who was his new tag-team partner, and who did the Horsemen replace him with?
      Tim Horner, Lex Luger
    3. what was Tully Blanchard's unique finishing maneuver?
      the Slingshot Suplex

  5. Kevin Sullivan invented the Tower of Doom match so that his team might wrestle Jimmy Garvin's team; who was the "prize"?
    Precious

  6. Randy Savage's real name is...well, to tell you would give away the answer to this question. What less-successful wrestler is his brother?
    Leapin' Lanny Poffo; accept also The Genius

  7. The Road Warriors ruled. It's that simple. Answer these questions about them.
    1. who was their manager?
      Precious Paul Ellering
    2. they held the 3-man tag title for the longest time with whom?
      Dusty Rhodes
    3. what was the subtitle of Starcade the year they faced the Midnight Express in a platform match?
      Night of the Sky-Walkers

  8. Sting is one of the most successful and popular wrestlers today, but he started off as half of a villainous Legion of Doom ripoff. Name that tag-team, as his partner.
    The Blade Runners, Rock

  9. Speaking of villainous Legion of Doom ripoffs...when Vince McMahon couldn't entice the genuine article to defect to the WWF, he made up his own team. What was their name, and who were the original members?
    Demolition, Smash and Axe

  10. Given the song from one of the WWF's albums, name the wrestler whose theme it served as:
    1. Piledriver Koko B. Ware
    2. Real American Hulk Hogan OR The American Express
    3. Grab Them Cakes Junkyard Dog

  11. Identify the wrestler from the finishing maneuver:
    1. Goodnight Irene Adorable Adrian Adonis
    2. the Camel Clutch The Iron Sheik
    3. the Scorpion Sting
    4. the Swinging Neckbreaker Ken Patera

  12. What wrestling federation now boasts Hulk Hogan, Mean Gene Okerlund, and many other WWF stars of the '80s? What do the letters of its name stand for? And what was it known as originally, when it was one of the regional sub-groups of the NWA?
    WCW; World Championship Wrestling; Mid-Atlantic

  13. What wrestler punched out a reporter from 20/20, reportedly at Vince McMahon's instigation, when it was alleged that wrestling was fake?
    "Dr. D" David Schultz

  14. The obvious final question--what womens' wrestling organization, which included such favorites as Farmer's Daughter and Jackie Stallone, is the height of bad taste even in the realm of pro wrestling?
    GLOW, or Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling

Bad TV

  1. This show featured Evie, a wacky human-alien hybrid.
    Out Of This World

    What tune served as its theme song?
    "Would You Like To Swing On a Star"

    What was the name for Evie's special ability, which she could use to stop time?
    "gleeping"

  2. This show featured a wacky Lyle Alzado as a teacher moonlighting as a professional wreslter.
    Learning the Ropes

    In one episode, Lyle was afraid a certain NWA star was out to get him. Who?
    "Dirty" Dick Slater

  3. This show was about a '20s flapper who died and came back as a guardian angel to a wacky family.
    Down To Earth

    What was the family's name? And, if you're really good, what were all of their first names?
    the Prestons; Richard, Lizzie, Dwayne, J.J.

  4. "Cheers" was a great show. However, it spawned a wacky spinoff which was markedly not a great show. It featured the antics of Carla's ex-husband's new family as they attempted to slime their way through middle class life. What is the name of this show?
    The Tortellis

  5. This show--which is still being broadcast nationally--has Jake, of "Body By Jake" fame, raising a bunch of wacky kids.
    Big Brother Jake

    What channel is pathetic enough to subject us to this crap?
    Lifetime

  6. This show was the only American sitcom to star a Monty Python alum. It featured the wacky adventures of the ghosts of a dead couple as they reacted to the new family living in their old house - only no one can see them except "Grandpa"!
    Nearly Departed

    Which Python alum starred?
    Eric Idle

  7. This wild 'n' crazy Saturday morning cartoon gave a little blue face, little blue arms, little blue legs, and a little, tiny blue voice to a national puzzle obsession, thus enabling it to guide a group of kids on a series of wacky advetures as it flew around and used its magical powers to assist them.
    Rubik, the Amazing Cube

  8. This sitcom featured the wacky antics of two alien brothers, Bo and Abe, as they ate a lot, ogled women, drove around in a red Cadillac, and made sarcastic remarks to authority figures. The catch is, when one of them has sex, the other feels it!
    They Came From Outer Space

  9. This show was wacky, and it sucked. Big time. It was about a guy that invents a robot in the form of a little girl.
    Small Wonder

  10. This show, which used to be broadcast on USA, was about a slightly-wacky guy learning at the feet of a not-so-wacky ninja on the run.
    The Master

    Who played their arch-nemesis?
    Sho Kosugi

  11. Just as wacky as the other shows mentioned here, yet far more popular and perhaps in even worse taste, was "Dukes of Hazzard". Answer these questions about it:
    1. what cousins took over for Bo and Luke for one season?
      Coy and Vance
    2. what was Roscoe's dog's name?
      Flash
    3. what did J.D. Hogg's initials stand for, and who was the fine actor who portrayed him?
      Jefferson Davis; Sorrell Booke

  12. What pathetic remake of an old show, which is not even a little wacky but stars Rich's cousin, is on the UPN network at 1pm on Saturdays? (Bonus point for naming his cousin)
    The New Flipper, Colleen Flynn

Star Wars:

What? No doubt you are asking, "But ELVIS, no part of the Star Wars Universe, no matter how miniscule, can be considered anything less than brilliant! Moreover, dudes, what's it doing in the *TV* section? May we direct your attention to the unquestioned nadir of the Star Wars world, the 1978 Christmas Special (rumored to have aired, inexplicably, in February)...

  1. First off: we learn the names of Chewbacca's wife, father, and son. His wife's name is Mala, and his father is named, God help us all, Itchy. What's his son's name?
    Lumpy

  2. Match the Special Guest Stars to their parts in this unholy performance.

    A. Harvey Korman -- Local trader and friend of Chewie's family; brings Itchy a highly erotic VR-cart as a present
    B. Bea Arthur -- Object of Itchy's cybersex sequence; backgrounded by swirling psychedelic patterns, a la Inna-God-Da-Davida; says, "I am your experience. So experience me!"
    C. Art Carney -- Owner of cantina on Tattooine; does a song and dance routine to get everyone to leave; it works.
    D. Diane Carroll -- A Julia Child-esque character on a "wallscreen" cooking program; prepares Bantha Surprise.
    E. Jefferson Starship -- Appears as a holographic projection; entertains Imperial Officer with an eight minute song
    F. Mark Hamill -- First person to actually speak English -- over ten minutes into the show (no subtitles); notably wearing more eye makeup than anyone else
    G. Carrie Fisher -- Sings for all the Wookies at the Life Day celebration -- ending with a lyricization of the Star Wars Theme
    H. Harrison Ford -- Plays the love interest for the cantina owner; drinks by pouring liquid directly into top of head

  3. The 1978 Christmas Special featured a Very Special Animated Sequence. What character, which did not appear in Star Wars in 1977, but did appear in later movies, did this animated short introduce?
    Boba Fett

Ren & Stimpy:

DISCLAIMER: R&S DOESN'T SUCK IN ANY WAY...IN FACT, IT RULES. BUT YOU HAVE TO ADMIT IT'S IN PRETTY BAD TASTE.

  1. First off, what were Ren & Stimpy's full names?
    Ren Hoek and Stimpson J. Cat

  2. Ren's cousin appeared on one show. What was his name?
    Sven Hoek

  3. Who provided the voice of the Pope for one Powdered Toast Man sketch, and what warning did Powdered Toast Man give the Pope so that he might fly the Primate home safely?
    Frank Zappa; "Quick, man! Cling tenaciously to my buttocks!"

  4. Stimpy's copy of "Happy Happy Joy Joy" is by what singer?
    Stinky Wizzleteats

  5. What brand of cat litter does Stimpy love?
    Gritty Kitty

  6. Who is Stimpy's favorite TV star?
    Muddy Mudskipper

  7. Of what collection does Stimpy boast, "I picked them myself"?
    his Magic Nose Goblins

  8. Who is the creator of R&S, and what is he currently doing?
    Billy West, appearing on the Howard Stern Show

Bad Music

White Rap

  1. What's Vanilla Ice's real name?
    Robert Van Winkle

  2. From the 'pathetically easy' file: what song is sampled in "Ice Ice Baby"?
    "Under Pressure" by Queen and David Bowie

  3. What was the name of his second album, which found him sporting poseur dredlocks?
    "Mindblowin'"

  4. What trio was led by MC Serch?
    3rd Bass

  5. We all remember the song "Informer". Boy, did it suck. Who sang it, and what album did it appear on?
    Snow; "12 Inches of Snow"

  6. According to the artist, what does the overly-repeated mantra "a licky boom-boom down" mean?
    "I am going to knock you down."

    What circumstances prompted him to compose this little ditty?
    he was detained as a murder suspect due to a falseaccusation

  7. Even though this guy DOESN'T suck, his name is still in pretty bad taste (hence its coolness). Who is responsible for the songs "Truth Is Out of Style" and "If I Only Had A Brain"?
    MC 300-Foot Jesus

Stupid Celebrities

Match each of the celebrities in the following list to a song which they covered exceptionally poorly. Some songs may be done by more than one celebrity.

  1. If I Were A Carpenter Leonard Nimoy
  2. I Can't Get No Satisfaction Phyllis Diller
  3. Try a Little Tenderness Jack Webb
  4. Peace in the Valley Wink Martindale
  5. I Walk the Line Leonard Nimoy and Telly Savalas
  6. Tumbling Tumbleweeds Merv Griffin
  7. Give Peace A Chance Mitch Miller
  8. Theme from "Shaft" Sammy Davis, Jr.

Bad Album Covers

On the following three pages, identify the album NAME AND ARTIST/GROUP from the extremely poor cover. Enjoy.

Random Bad Stuff:

Things People Say And Do That Get Them In Trouble:

  1. What did Jesse Jackson apparently call NYC, leading to a famous sketch on Saturday Night Live?
    "Hymietown"

  2. Sebastien Bach of Skid Row got in big big trouble for wearing a T-Shirt sporting a parody of a famous ad campaign. What was his slogan?
    (A:"AIDS kills fags dead"

    What phrase did he compare it to by analogy in his public apology?
    "Cancer kills grandmothers dead"

  3. Given the quote, name the dumb-ass politician:
    1. "We have every mixture you can have. I have a black, I had a woman, two Jews and a cripple."
      James Watt
    2. "Sure, I look like a white man. But my heart is as black as anyone's here."
      George Wallace
    3. "If a person is innocent of a crime, then he is not a suspect."
      Ed Meese

  4. The politician quoted in part (a) above also declared that he didn't think conservation was important. What was his reasoning?
    It's not too many generations til the Second Coming.

  5. Recently, "Free Willy 2" was released on videotape. There was a very short-lived promotional discount in association with another company. Name that other company.
    Bumblebee tuna

  6. The Macauley Culkin Memorial Bad Taste Question:
    No Bad Taste bonus would be complete without a question on Macauley Culkin. Thus: name the only movie that ruled that lil' Mac was ever in. Hint: he was uncredited, and played the deceased son of the protagonist.
    he played Tim Robbins' son in "Jacob's Ladder"

Bad Food:

Dammit, answer these questions about SPAM!
  1. What company produces SPAM?
    Hormel
  2. Name all 10 ingredients in SPAM:
    Pork, ham, chicken, water, salt, sugar, sodium phosphate, potassium chloride, sodium ascorbate, sodium nitrite
  3. What product is advertised with the line "It's SPAM!...but it SPREADS!"
    Deviled SPAM
  4. Who said "We had lost our most fertile, food-bearing lands. Without SPAM, we wouldn't have been able to feed our army?"
    Nikita Khruschev
  5. What does "SPAM" stand for?
    SPiced hAM
  6. In what country is SPAM a gift as prized as jewelry or whisky?
    Korea
  7. Please list the entire bill of fare at the Green Midget Cafe:
    Egg and SPAM; egg, bacon, and SPAM; egg, bacon, sausage and SPAM, SPAM, bacon, sausage and SPAM; SPAM, egg, SPAM, SPAM, bacon, and SPAM; SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, egg, and SPAM; SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, baked beans, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, and SPAM; lobster thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce garnished with truffle paté, brandy, and a fried egg on top and SPAM.
  8. What US state buys the most SPAM?
    Hawaii

Bad Fashion.

Bad Writing

Bad Books

  1. Blanche Knott, that "truly tasteless" compiler, has 23 short volumes to her name. name them.
    Truly Tasteless Jokes 1-12, Truly tasteless Salesman jokes, Kennedy Jokes, Doctor Jokes, Lawyer jokes, Anatomy Jokes I + II, Military jokes, Blonde Jokes, Blanche Knott's book of etiquette, Blanche Knott's worst, Blanche Knotte's Joke-A-Date book

  2. This coffee-table book parades the visions of the bad taste Capital of the World (some would say), with an introduction by Kenny Rogers. (Text: Rick Browne and James Marshall; Collins Publishers, 1995
    Planet Vegas

  3. This book was "Rated X by an All-Whyte Jury." Written by Darius James (a.k.a.________________), it provides encyclopedic coverage of the "Roots of the Babdasss 'Tude." Give the author's alias and the name of this book.
    That's Blaxploitation, Dr. Snakeskin

  4. This book, written by Kenji Kawakami in 1995, is subtitled "the Art of Chindogu." Its editor, Hugh Fearnley-Whitingstall, describes himself as a pathological mail-order fanatacist.
    101 (un)useless Japanese Inventions

  5. This book, entitled _Immoral Tales,_ was published in October 1995 by authors Cathal Tohill and Pete Tombs, through publisher St. Martins Griffin. It is an encyclopeida of what?
    European Sex and Horror Movies (1956-84)

  6. This book by Joey Green, ("never advertised on television,") offers suggestions according to its subtitle "...and hundreds of offbeat uses for brandname products." What is its title?
    Polish your furniture with pantyhose.

Essay:

Finally,