The Four Ages of Television

(Ancient Greek Observations on the Idiot Box)

Section I: Callous, Wasted Youth

General Section

Who gave Grover advice for conquering shyness?
How does Mr. Snuffle-Upagus unwind after a game of follow the leader?
During the song and film entitled "Bird on Me" we see birds riding on the backs of four different animals. Name them.
During the history of the program, Sesame Street has created a number of television show parodies. Name any six.
In order, what are Bert's two favorite things in the world?
During one skit, David plays a man stranded on a small desert island. He comes across a bottle floating in the water. It cntains (naturally) a genie (played by Maria), who offers him three wishes. What does he wish for? What does he get?
On a related note, David calls the genie Jeanie. She protests, telling him that this is not her name. What is the genie's name?
Who provided the voice for the King of 8?
Ernie is always getting Bert (often unwittingly and often to Bert's great chagrin) to help him teach important concepts (as was the case when Ernie and his radio drove Bert to distraction when Bert was trying to read, illustrating the concepts of LOUD and SOFT.) After one such incident in which Ernie's scam backfires and it is he that runs out of the room in frustration, Bert turns to the camera and says, "Well, I had to win SOMETIME, didn't I?" In what stunt did Bert defeat Ernie?
We all know that Sesame Street has followed a progressive curriculum since it's inception. When the program began, it was considered a mark of distinction to be able to count to 10. These days they are counting past 40. Indeed, in one skit a pair of Muppets discuss the children's rhyme "St. Ives." How many were going to St. Ives?
In the first few years of the series, Sesame Street was occupied by a robot who has since been phased out. What was it's name?
How tall is Big Bird?
Recently, Sesame Street introduced a new Muppet character named H. Ross Parrot. He is just the latest in a series of Muppets based on real celebrities. Name the Muppet based upon:
1. a famous actress
2. an opera star
What is the name of Bert's favorite pigeon?
During the Anniversary Special "Sesame Street: 20... and Still Counting," guest host Bill Cosby stops by Oscar's trash can for a visit. What happens to Cos when he opens the can?
In that same special, Kermit conducts one of his famous Man on the Street interviews. What is the question? How does Cosby answer? What is Grover's response?
We all know that Mr. Snuffle-Upagus is protrayed by Martin Robinson. To whom is Robinson married, and what is her claim to cult fame?
Over the years, Cab Calloway has performed several of his numbers on the show. Which Muppet(s) appear most frequently with Calloway?
Three of these things are not like the other. Three of these things are kind of the same. One of these things is not like the other. Now it's time to play our game. It's time to play our game.
1. EMILIO DELGADO, NORTHERN CALLOWAY, LINDA BOVE, LORETTA LONG
2. HERRY, ELMO, TELLY, THE HONKERS
In the film Wayne's World, Wayne makes a big deal of the fact that on Bewitched both Dick Sargent and Dick York played the role of Darren Stevens. Sesame Street has itself pulled such a stunt. Which character's actor was replaced between seasons? Name both performers to portray the role.
During an archaeological expedition, Bert and Ernie stumble into the burial chamber of an ancient Muppet pharaoh. To whom does the dead king bear a striking resemblance? After getting over his initial fright, Ernie warms up to the undead horror and they break into a song and dance routine. What duet do they perform?
What is the address of the building where Bert and Ernie and Gordon and Susan live?
What is the name of the orange plasticine claymation ball who stars in a series of songs?
A list of the virtues of the hero known only as Super Grover always ends with what phrase?
Who wanted to become Super Grover's sidekick and accompany him on his adventures? What difficulty id she encounter? How did they ultimately resolve this dilemma?
What is the name of Oscar the Grouch's pet worm?
Bert is a great collector of boring stuff. He has an extensive paper clip collection. He also collects bottle caps. What cap is the pride of his collection?
How does Ernie catch Cookie Monster eating Ernie's cuppycakes?
Over the years, Guy Smiley has been the host of some pretty offbeat game shows. In one of these, BEAT THE TIME, he challenges a contestant to perform a wacky stunt. Who is the contestant? What is the prize? What is the stunt? (hint: the contestant needs to produce three things) What does the contestant bring to the studio?
In the "Guy Smiley on Vacation" segment, what does Guy say a Monkey looks like?
What company provided Guy's headgear in that segment?
What is the name of the Muppet host of the Mexican version of Sesame Street?
In the Little Jack Horner episode of "Colambo," what question does Colambo ask Jack in order to catch him plum-handed?
Name the Muppet composer (NOT Joe Raposo! The Muppet character whose occupation is composer)
Name the Grouch who playes Nora to Oscar's Nick.
Over the years, Sesame Street has dealt with some pretty heavy issues. Marriage. Birth. Adoption. And with the passing of Mr. Hooper, kids came face to face with a very frank and honest explanation of death, Name the actor who played Mr. Hooper.
Why is the Count called the Count?

Music Subsection

What is the very best time of the day? Why is this time so very special?
After thinking she has banned the letter T from her kingdom, Tom Tattertall Tuttletut points out to the queen the error of her ways. What T things does he identify?
Name three things that look like a C
Name all the ingredients in Oscar's B sandwich. When preparing one, he finds that he doesn't have it quite perfect. What does the sandwich need?
What are Bert's L words in the song "La, La, La"
What is the chorus to the club song of the National Association of W lovers?
What does Sammy the Snake have to confess?
In the song "My favorite letter" there are three distinct groups of things mentioned. What are they?
What are the first six adjectives that Oscar uses to describe trash in the song "I Love Trash"?
Complete the following lyrics: When Bert's not here _________. When Bert's not here __________
According to the "Daddy Dear" song, why do gophers dig holes?
Please give the lyrics to the OSCAR the Grouch version of "Bein' Green" Havin to spend each day the color of monry When I think it would be nicer To be red like a pepper Or purple like an eggplant of gray like a moldy old grapefruit rind

THIS SECTION HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE LETTERS T, J AND BY THE NUMBER 11

Section II: Doomed Drooling Adolescence

What was Michael Knight's original name and occupation?
What organization does Michael Knight represent?
What does KITT stand for?
Who was KARR and what did it stand for?
Who drove KARR? (Actor and character name)
Who was that wacky billionaire anyway?
Who was that babe with the truck in later episodes? Did she and Knight ever... you know?
Summarize the plot to Knight Rider 2000. (Try not to lose the socially conscious undertones and profound meditations on being and nothingness present in the original)
The Other Shows:
Has Baywatch been renewed for another season?
What was that tall bonde actress fired for? What's her name anyway?
Has Mitch learned to walk again
Hasselhoff has claimed that Baywatch is modeled after a soap. Which one and why?
When asked if Hasselhoff was a german name, how did Dave reply?
A German reader's poll recently ranked singers. Where did David Hasselhoff place? Where did Michael Jackson?
What are Dave's current plans during the hiatus from Baywatch?
Dave also starred in a true SF masterpiece: he starred as Simon with Christopher Plummer ans the Emperor, Joe Spinnell and Count Zarth Arn (the bad guy) and Caroline Munro as the heroine. What movie was this? Was it before/after/during Knight Rider?
What is the full name of BJ? The Bear?
Who played BJ? He was also in a short-lived dog of a show about two unknown songwriters who sell their soul to Paragon Records' president (who happens to be the seon of the Devil, they glossed over the total lack or resemblance to George Burns, though). What was this show? Who was his co-star?
What was BJ's slogan before he tried to start Bear Enterprises?
Who performed the theme song for B.J. and the Bear? What other show did he/she/it sing the theme for? Why?
Which Simon is which?
In the Six Million Dollar Man, what did O.S.I. stand for?
What was 'civilian astronaut' Steve Austin's military rank?
What was the theme song to The Fall Guy? Who sang it?
What was the name of the sidekick in The Fall Guy?
Who played Terri Michaels in The Fall Guy? Why was she hanging around?
Lee Majors saves Christmas in what major motion picture?
Who gives McGyver his orders?
Who controlled Airwolf (person and organization)?
Why was Hawk allowed to fly it?
What was Ernet Borgnine's character's full name?
What is Hawk's first name?
There was a second Airwolf series with a completely new cast (same chopper, though). What were the character names of the new crew and what were their relationships to the old?
Who were the stars of Starsky and Hutch?
What were the vehicles in Riptide?
Why didn't the suit in The Greatest American Hero work reliably?
On one episode of The Greatest American Hero, the suit is revealed to have telekinetic powers. What was needed to activate them?
Another time, Bobby got trapped in Sam's meat locker and... no, wait, that was the Bradys. Oh yeah, Ralph becomes a baseball pitcher, extending the sleeve of the suit past the cuff of the uniform to throw one mean fastball. Why didn't he get any of his star salary?
Bill Maxwell had some powers from the aliens as well. What were they?
Ralph Macchio appeared in what decidedly non-action adventure show from 1980-1981?
There were three made-for-TV Gilligan's Island movies. Name them. (OK, so Gilligan isn't really a testosterone filled action hero - I don't care.)
Who said "This is a great beach and you want to shoot some pretty girls, but just don't do another cop show."? In reference to what?
One of the above stars was offered a contract by major league baseball during his last year of college but declined to pursue acting. Who was it and what team made the offer?

Section III: Life Ebbing Middle Age

The introduction of new players into the world of Cheers has always been interesting to watch. Fraser Crane spends most of his first episode sitting at the bar drinking, apparently just another member of the crowd. Where do we first see Robin Colcord?
What is Rebecca's computer password?
Who was the original owner of Cheers?
What is Norm's real first name?
In one episode, Woody's father decides that Boston is not the proper place for his son to live and decides to call him back to Hanover. In order to convince him otherwise, the gang make a film of themselves. Diane then edited that film, creating an arty, pretentious masterpiece. What was the title of this film?
In the episode in which Frederick Crane says his first word, Frasier and Lillith discuss the responsibilities of parenthood. Frasier reminds his bride that on the night that Frederick was conceived they talked in depth about the demands that a child would make on their lives. Lilith remembers the conversation differently. What does she say Frasier's words were on that magical night?
And what, predictably, was young Frederick's first word?
Norm's favorite restaurant is, of course, the Hungry Heifer. But where, according to Norm, do you go if you just want to power down the animal fat?
What is the address of Cheers?
In one episode, a former upire comes to the bar. He and Sam strike up a conversation which turns into a shouting match about a call that the ump once made in a game that Sam was pitching. The ump called a ball, walking in a run. Sam maintained that the pitch was a strike, which would have ended the game. The argument heats up until the ump ejects Sam from the bar. What explanation does the umpire give for his call.
What other former Red Sox pitcher gets the endorsement deal that Sam had hoped to win? What was the product in question?
In his drinking days, after a particularly tequila-soaked evening, Sam bets a drinking buddy that he can do what within one year? What is Sam's stake in the bet? Although ultimately he does not have to make good on the bet, what was Sam going to do to resolve the outstanding debt?
After proposing, how does Diane's mother's chauffer say he plans to support her (the mother, not Diane)?
According to Cliff:
1. What is the derivation of the word "Florida"?
2. What does DNA stand for?
3. If you turn the model of a DNA helix on its side, what do you have?
4. In the recent episode in which Cliff puts Ma Clavin in a rest home, he reduces his feelings on women to three words. And they are...?
Carla's family has an interesting tradition as far as names go. t is expected that mothers give one of their sons the first name of their grandfather and their grandmother's maiden name as the child's middle name. Why did Carla break this tradition?
What is Carla's mother's response to her daughters reticence?
Diane once had a dream in which a suprisingly witty and erudite, pipe-smoking and unexectedly literate Sam seduces her. She is then awakened by the real Sam. As she is leaving the office, what does she find that leads her to believe that maybe it wan't a dream? What then convinces her that it was?
After an especially debauched night at the bar, Norm and Cliff go to an all-night tattoo parlor. Each has something tatooed on his butt. Please describe the tatoos.
Norm has perhaps the world's longest running and most expensive bar tab. Indeed, it dates back to the days before Sam and the Coach even knew his name. How did they keep track of Norm back then?
While we are on the subject of nomenclature: George Wendt (as himself) guyest starred ona recent episode of Bob. How did the Ace comics gang refer to him?
And one more: How does Rebecca refer to Bobby Hatfield?
Please write the lyrics to all three verses of "Where everybody knows your name"
Who was the man that Diane Chmabers was dating when she first walked into Cheers? (Hint: He was also the man that caused her to leave Sam on their wedding day)
In the now infamous Jeopardy! episode, what does Alex Trebek decide to do now that he has lost faith in the show?
Complete the following phrase: "Women. Can;t live with 'em..."
What is the Hanover Indiana cure for a hangover?
Which of the following has never appeared on an episode of Cheers: Emma Thompson, Robert Urich, Bill Bradley, John McLaughlin?
Name the product for which Woody became the spokesperson.
The Ernie Pantuso Memorial Question: What sports record does the Coach hold?
What song do Frasier and Dr. Simon Finch-Royce sing when the latter first walks into Cheers?
In one series of episodes, Diane stands jury duty on a murder case. The plaintiff was a man accused of trying to murder his wife. Hw is acquitted, and stops by Cheers for a drink, much to Diane's dismay. Who plays the husband?
For a while, Norm was in the painting business. He found that he was having a hard time getting his crew to do their work, so he set up a second, nastier identity for himself.
1. Who was Norm's evil alter ego?
2. What is the significance of this name?
3. In typical sitcom style, Norm's duplicity is eventually uncovered. What erroneous conclusion do the painters reach?
For what play does Woody get a leading role? Who is the character he is meant to portray? How does Woody describe the character? In order to suprise Kelly, Woody doesn't tell her about the part. What conclusion does Kelly reach after catching Woody rehearsing with the female lead?
When Woody's old Hanover girlfriend Beth comes to Boston to announce her engagement to Woody's best friend, Woody decides to put up a brave front about the whole thing and indeed to pretend that he is dating someone else. To this end he (literally) takes a page from Sam's book. Who does Woody end up dating and why did he choose her?
What is Carla's maiden name?
Where were Sam and Diane the second time that he proposed? What was her response? How did Sam react to this?
When Cliff's girlfriend Maggie comes back from Canada for a visit and asks Cliff if they can go steady, Cliff is struck by hysterical blindness. He enlists Sam's aid in helping him set the mood back in his apartment. When Maggie asks Sam why he has come by, what two reasons does Sam give?
Beofre Cheers, Ted Danson guest-starred on an episode of Taxi. what frighteningly appropriate and somewhat prophetic role did he play?
In one episode, Woody and Kelly decide that they are going to make love and rent a motel room toward that end. The room is equipped with a vibrating bes. What happens when Kelly puts qurters into the bed?

Section IV: Withered, Descending Senility

Game Play: In the game of Scrabble, What is a "stopper"?
Name all types of Daily Double.
Draw a whammy
How many squares were on the main board in Press Your Luck
How could you get an automatic win in Joker's Wild?
What two ways could you win the final game in Tic Tac Dough? How could you lose?
Produce a sample sentence that the host might read in "The Match Game"
How did you play Make me Laugh?
How about Bumper Stumpers?
And Family Feud?

The Hosts:

Please name the Original Host of the following shows:
1. Truth or Consequences
2. Who Pays?
3. Match Game
4. Play Your Hunch
5. The Newlywed Game
6. Sale of the Century
7. The Price is Right
8. Jeopardy
9. High Rollers
Name the show(s) that the following perosnalities hosted:
1. Johnny Carson (2)
2. Rod Serling
3. Basil Rathbone
4. Vincent Price
What is the original name of "Who Do You Trust", and what famous duo were the original hosts?
There have only been two black game show hosts. Who were they and what did they host?
Alex Trebek has a college degree. What was his major?
Before Pat and Vanna, who were the hosts of Wheel of Fortune?
Richard Dawson, beloved host of Family Feud, was a panelist on two game shows before hosting that one. Name them.
Dawson was also the voice of a famous cartoon character. Who?
Who hosted the daytime version of Wheel of Fortune? What was his prior occupation?
And what bonus about game shows would be complete without asking you to name the six major models who in Bob Barker's tenure helped him to host The Price is Right?

Endgames:
Nobody wins a game by just being better than all the other contestants. OK, in Jeopardy!. Describe the endgame for money on the following shows:

$25,000 Pyramid
Jeopardy!
Scrabble
Price is Right

Miscellaneous:

The spectre of inflation has affected even game shows. What was the original title of The $25,000 Pyramid?
USA Network, not to be outdone, produces a pair of adult-oriented game shows broadcast back to back in the afternoon. Name them.
Why did the Chrysler company decide not to spondor the $64,000 Question?