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THE FINAL SCORES

265Rule Six
250The Rest on Gift Certificate
222Flourescent Sheep from Lawrence, Kansas
191Make My Day
187Magical Morgan Mystical Mobile
173Manhattan Skyliners
122Sage A
119The Sweaty Enemas
107Sgt. O'Hara's Lunatic Fringe
98F Troop
90Champagne Cocktail
85Pain
83It's Magically Delicious
73Sage Ducks
69The Castratis
66Death by Acne
49The Summits
34F.O.P.
31Penguin's Navel
30Stella Deluza
26Williams D
24Testosterone
23A Woman, a Jew, Two Blacks and a Cripple
21June Bronson
10What's Your Vector, Victor?
9No Lack of Void
8John DeLorean's Business Agents
7Short Cocks and I
4Bailey's Comets
4Homina, Homina, I'm Telling Norton
3The Stag Ran
3Bill Wants to Play Too
2East Team
2Matt's Going to Sleep
1East Huskies
1Beethoven on the Third Floor
1Williams A
1Ethel P
1Stagger In

It had been Accepted Trivia Legend among the 1980s-90s crowd that the team known as "Rule Six" was the single most crushing force in the history of the contest. However, this position is getting harder to maintain as raw data more inconvenient to the Rule Six cause emerges.

Six's roster, more than 40 players strong, was certainly large. But it would be dwarfed by some teams a decade earlier such as BOMO, who according to at least one report, approached 90 players in December 1973. However, the era of the supersquad had mostly passed by the end of the 1970's. Since 1983, only Leave the Gun, Take the Cannolis (1988) enjoyed more members than Rule Six. Comparatively, a 40-person team has not competed in the 1990's.

And while a 15-point margin is very healthy, it is by no means historic. (We can invoke Take the Cannolis again, who won by 65 points.) In fact, on a mid-contest scoresheet, Rule Six actually trailed Gift Certificate after Question #32 and Hour Bonus #2 (albeit by a slim one point). The subsequent 16-point swing does jibe with Rule Sixers' memories of having a perfect second half; that is, not missing one available point from 4 AM onwards. Thus far that legacy-- and perhaps "percentage of total possible points" (they recall missing just 3 for the night)-- remains firmly in Rule Six's mighty grasp until further notice.

It should be noted that 265 is an excellent score considering that the 12/83 Hour Boni were worth 5 points apiece, the two Supers worth 10, and no Ultra Bonus yet existed. Data on Actions is missing, but there were commonly fewer than seven during this period, if any. So it is easy to imagine an equivalent performance today netting another 85 or 90 points, and how many teams score in the 350's?

Rule Six was clearly the dominant team of 1983. But owing to the lesser number of points available to them, and an inconveniently strong second-place team, they were cheated of their chance to set some all-time statistical marks.

The following semester, a talent-infused Flourescent Sheep (playing as Chicago 60609) would leap past The Rest On Gift Certificate (as Round Up The Usual Suspects) to capture the Rule Six contest by eight points. A large chunk of Rule Six (as Nasty Big Pointed Teeth) would then return to action, extending the Certificate-Suspects second-place finish streak to 3 in a row by edging them in Winter 1984.

Flourescent Sheep and Gift Certificate would later join forces as Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius, and win handily in Spring 1985.

Players from Rule Six would continue winning contests through 1990. Some of their proteges from Nasty Teeth have won contests through 1996 (and counting).