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BAD PARENTING

Even though the Bradys are everybody's familial ideal, it isn't quite accurate to credit Mike and Carol as perfect parents. In fact, their parenting skills could get downright bizarre......

  1. When Bobby realizes the pain of being the only Brady brat without a trophy, he goes all out to win one, entering magazine subscription races and ice cream eating contests. Naturally, he's a miserable failure. For what does Bobby finally receive that elusive trophy?

  2. After THE Davy Jones visits the Brady household, the kids get inspired! They form their own fab singing group, dubbed "the Nosybodies" by Marcia. Mike arranges their first paying gig-- what is it?

  3. When that egomaniac Cindy aces out all the other girls in her class for the plum role of the Fairy Princess, she's delighted. Then, disaster strikes. Each kid in the school play is allowed only one ticket for the sole performance. Cindy's got to stick a shiv in her new dad's heart--- or her loving mom's! How do things finally get resolved?

  4. After working their young tongues to the bone, the Brady girls only amass 54 books of trading stamps. The boys only have 40. Since the company is about to go out of business, they have to cash in NOW! Unfortunately, that means they have to settle for crappy prizes. 94 books of stamps would net a really cool prize, but the boys want a rowboat, while the girls insist on a sewing machine. What disturbed solution do Mom and Dad come up with?

BRADYS ON THE BRINK

The Bradys-- boring prisoners of suburbia, or daring thrillseekers who laugh at death? You be the judge!

  1. We all remember Tiger the dog, who (in real life) met an action-packed end under the wheels of a florist's truck. But what of the lesser-known Brady pet, Fluffy the cat? Under what circumstances did we last see this short-lived shorthair?

  2. The Brady's Grand Canyon vacation almost comes to a horrifying end, when the entire family is locked in an old jail cell and left to rot by crazy old coot Zacchariah T. Brown. However, the unsightly spectacle of Bradycannibalism is averted through what plan of escape?

  3. Oh, that evil tiki doll. Another fun-filled vacation (this one to Hawaii) is transformed into a hellish journey of doom when Bobby picks up the cursed tiki as a souvenir. List three of the tiki's terrifying attacks on the Bradys.

  4. Under what circumstances were we given the satisfying image of the Bradys being massacred, one by one?

  5. In the frighteningly bad sequel series, "The Bradys," Bobby Brady is paralyzed, at least until Alice lifts her skirt, which sends him screaming from his sickbed. No, just kidding-- Alice's thang has no curative powers. But WHY was Bobby paralyzed?

  6. In the awful "A Very Brady Christmas," it looks like a happy holiday when Mike is crushed under a collapsed building. Sadly, he survives. What enables him to lift the I-beam pinning his legs, and emerge from the rubble?

BRADYS GONE BONKERS

Whether it's Jan inventing imaginary boyfriends, Cindy scared spitless over a magic trick, or Peter secretly recording his family's behavior, there's a lot of psycho psyches in the Brady home. Analyze the following examples of aberrant cries for help.

  1. When that stumblefoot Bobby falls out of a tree, he develops a severe case of acrophobia. (That's not a fear of good acting-- ALL the Bradys suffered from that.) Even the sight of Alice on the trampoline fails to cure Bobby's newfound neurosis. What finally helps him kick that fear of heights?

  2. Bobby's brain was a real snakepit-- on another occasion, Bobby decides that he's just too short. He tries everything to increase his height, but as usual, fails. What finally makes the dwarfish loser so happy to be a shrimpo?

  3. The Bradys are beside themselves with excitement when they learn that Aunt Jenny is coming for a visit. That is, except for Jan. Why does Jan dread Jenny's arrival?

  4. With what confidence-shattering taunt does that big bully Buddy Hinton torment Cindy Brady?

  5. When Peter decides that he has no personality (and rightly so), he undergoes a frighteningly swift series of personas, including one with a memorable speech impediment. What is being served for dinner that evening, and what adjective would best describe the meal?

BRADY VS. BRADY

Whenever one of the Bradys dared to hope or dream, their fragile hold on their deepest desires was usually squashed by...... another Brady. Answer these questions about the seamy underside of Brady togetherness.

  1. When the Bunch heads off to the King's Island amusement park, Jan does her best to destroy Dad's career by mixing up his blueprints with what?

  2. When Cindy's precious doll turns up missing, she immediately accuses Bobby of the theft. Even his biological brothers turn on him. Truly a latter-day Dreyfuss, Bobby is desperate to prove his innocence, and to pretend that his family's trust can ever be repaired. How does he get exonerated? And, what's the disappearing doll's name?

  3. Even imagining her driving instructor in his underwear only enables Marcia to tie Greg's test score, making their bet a push. So, in a crazed attempt to dance on the defeated hulk of the other, they set up a private road test. Who wins, and how?

  4. When Jan starts sneezing around Tiger, it looks like the faithful mutt is headed for the gas chamber. What saves his hairy neck?

  5. Given the chance to become Johnny Bravo, Greg immediately ditches his no-talent siblings for a solo career. But Peter and Jan also screw up Brady singing plans. Name any three songs performed by the six kids ON THE TV SHOW. (Their rotten variety series doesn't count, either.)

NAKED BUNCH

While Sam was slipping Alice the meat, six Bradys ripened into sexual maturity in the same bathroom. Besides, they're not REALLY brothers and sisters. Is it any wonder repressed hormones are everywhere-- if you know how to look?

  1. When Cindy gives Marcia's diary to the Salvation Army Book Drive, Marcia's reputation is gasping for air. What lurid secret of secrets can be found on the pages within?

  2. What depraved act do Mike and Carol indulge in on their honeymoon night?

  3. While her family sleeps, Marcia climbs out her bedroom window, clad only in a sheer nightie and lacy panties. What inspires the nubile lass to hit the darkened streets in such a provocative outfit?

  4. That seething hunk of man, Jerry Rogers, is after Marcia. But he's only after one thing from her-- what?

  5. Greg spends the night with Raquel, who's wearing nothing but a small towel. YOW! Explain!

  6. Cindy and Bobby try to go at it for 124 hours straight, but their young, inexperienced bodies can't handle the friction and strain. What-- exactly-- were they trying to do?

  7. Greg gets a Super-8 camera, no doubt for Marcia's long, soapy shower sessions. What film does he recruit the entire family for?

  8. Marcia needs to break her date with plain old Charley, to go after that luscious lust-lump Doug Simpson. Greg teaches her the magic phrase to let Charley down gently, but after Marcia takes a football to the face, Doug dumps her with the same lame line. What is it?