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How Much Mail Can a Dead Postman Deliver?
Where did each of these questions come from?
Don't go nuts with the details. We're not anal.

  1. Who was at the zoo, George? Who was at the zoo?

  2. What does God need with a star ship?

  3. Hubba, hubba, hubba! Money, money, money! Who do you trust?

  4. What, me worry?

  5. How did you manage to get so much custard out of such a small cat?

  6. Wait a minute Shamu, are you wearing a condom?

  7. Don't you realize that you are my own nose?

  8. Do you mean to make a stale of me among these mates?

  9. And God said, where the hell is Tim?

  10. Why does a chicken?

  11. Don't you know what a kiss is?

  12. What have I got in my pocket?

  13. What, fisticuffs?

  14. Damn, baby, what'd you do with your hair?

  15. What's the frequency Kenneth? (Don't say R.E.M.)

  16. Ever chased chickens?

  17. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind marrying me very much?

  18. What's this poisonous cobra doing in my underwear drawer?

  19. Anybody want a peanut?

  20. A cocktail waitress - does that prove anything to you?

  21. Why is the world in love again? Why are we marching hand in hand? Why are the ocean levels rising up?

  22. What mirror? Where?

  23. Bernstein, am I a stuffed shirt? Am I a horse-faced hypocrite? Am I a New England schoolmarm?

  24. How many dicks is that?

  25. We have a little sister, and she has no breasts; what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for?

  26. Is there a proper blessing for the Czar?

  27. Would you ever really wanna meet... an angel?

  28. Is the Pope Catholic? Does a bear...? Well, I know YOU do, Angelo.

  29. Do you want to make more money? Sure. We all do.

  30. So, what do you think; does this dog say, "Gleeminex for pets?"

  31. Would you suffer eternally or internally?

  32. In a row?

  33. Why are you so fat? Why are you so fat?

  34. Hey you, out there on your own, sitting naked by the phone, will you touch me?

  35. Damn it ball! Why don't you just go home? That's your home. Are you too good for your home?

  36. Hey Curly, kill anyone today?

  37. Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

  38. Hey...d'you like apples? Well I got 'er numba. How d'ya like them apples?

  39. Are Desi and Cass playing hide the salami?

  40. Between "yes sir" and "certainly not!" how much difference is there? Between beauty and ugliness, how great is the distinction?

  41. When you make love, do you look in the mirror? Who do you think of? Does he look like me?

The DAILY Show Five Questions

Each of the following groups of five questions was asked of a celebrity by Craiggers. Each question (usually) makes reference to the celebrity in some way. Beware: Celebrities do not always answer them correctly.

  1. Q. What state is Boston in?
    A. "Oh, come on, everybody know that, even my Chihuahua. Massachusetts."
    Q. How do you make a corn dog?
    A. "Corn, C-O-R-N? The thing that you eat? How you make it, a corn dog? Oh, sure. You stick it with sugar, carabello, and then you..."
    Q. Who looks better in a white suit: Gavin MacLeod or Ricardo Montalban?
    A. "Well listen, I like both. I have to choose one? Because they both are very cute. Ok, ok, Ricardo Montalban."
    Q. What makes a Blue Hawaiian blue?
    A. "The blue thing."
    Q. Do you dream in English or Spanish?
    A. "Oh yes, oh, wait a minute, I dream in English. 'Money, money, money, money...'"
    Name the Celebrity:

  2. Q. The first Bible printed on a press was...
    A. "... a book?"
    Q. Name a popular Hungarian stew.
    A. "Roxanne!"
    Q. Name a peanut cousin of the Raisinette.
    A. "Oh, goober!"
    Q. Who sang, "Too Shy Shy"?
    A. "The Goulets! The Goulet family!"
    Q. Can I call you Goot?
    A. "Yeah, man, that's what everyone calls me!"
    Name the Celebrity:

  3. Q. Name 3 Canadian Provinces that begin with the letter "N"?
    A. New Foundland, New Brunswick,and Nova Scotia
    Q. True or False: You once dated Susan Anton?
    A. I once went up on Susan Anton.
    Q. Who was the last NHL goalie to play without a mask?
    A. Gump Worsley
    Q. Skippy: dufus or dork?
    A. I have to go for Dork.
    Q. Size, does it matter?
    A. Yes,absolutely
    Name the Celebrity:

  4. Q. You were in the play "Grease," where's the Acropolis?
    A. Athens
    Q. What Gun Control law did President Clinton sign on November 25, 1993?
    A. I have no idea.
    Q. Finish the Stylistics' song lyric. "You are everything..."
    A. and more.
    Q. Sam the Butcher's sausage: sweet or hot?
    A. Hot!
    Q. What the hell is Wessonality?
    A. It's really great.
    Name the Celebrity:

  5. Q. More impressive Washington erection: The National Gallery or The Capitol?
    A. The National Gallery.
    Q. What par is the 7th hole at Pebble Beach?
    A. Par 3
    Q. What's in a perfect Manhattan? A.Sweet and dry vermouth and blended whiskey.
    Q. Which Francis sang "Where the Boys Are?" A.Connie. Q.Finally, what should everybody do tonight? A.Wang Chung.
    Name the Celebrity:

  6. Q. Name 5 of the 7 states that border Colorado
    A. Arizona, New Mexico, Utah, Oklahoma, Kansas
    Q. What was the first X-rated cartoon?
    A. Fritz The Cat.
    Q. Rob & Fab were the frontmen for what group?
    A. Milli Vanilli. Q.Halloween: Celebrating the birth of Jesus or grabbing the goodies from Santa?
    A. Birth of Jesus
    Q. Do you have to hang out with George Clooney?
    A. His day is done. No more.
    Name the Celebrities: Matt Parker & Trey Stone

  7. Q. What is the "Show Me" State?
    A. (no response)
    Q. Name 3 varieties of melon.
    A. "Canteloupe, honeydew, and watermelon."
    Q. Tommy Lee or Gene Simmons?
    A. "Tommy Lee or Gene Simmons what?"
    Q. Finish this lyric: "Reunited and..."
    A. "Can you hum a bar?"
    Q. What three words best describe you?
    A. "Um, um, um..."
    Name the Celebrity:

  8. Q. Where was Shatner born?
    A. Horse Country.
    Q. . . .which city would you want with you: Chicago or New York?
    A. Chicago.
    Q. Name three blond Hitchcock leading ladies.
    A. Tippy Hedron, Grace Kelly and Anthony Perkins.
    Q. I'm thinking of a slow white Center for the Bulls . . .
    A. Will "The Thrill" Perdue.
    Q. Finally, , what kind of clown are you?
    A. Cryin' on the inside, I guess.
    Name the Celebrity:

  9. Q. Where in the United States is the replica of the Parthenon?
    A. "That's in South Dakota."
    Q. What are the most comfortable slacks you can buy?
    A. " slacks, absolutely."
    Q. Worst hair: Gene Simmons or Gene Shalit?
    A. "I dunno, I gotta go with Gene Simmons, that's some bad hair."
    Q. Name the ingredients of a Harvey Wallbanger.
    A. "Oh. You take fresh lime juice, squeeze it into, uh, over ice, double that with Contreau, double that with tequilla, shake it, pour it into a salt-rimmed glass."
    Q. Who's the blonde woman who ruined Van Halen?
    A. "David Lee Roth?" Name the Celebrity: