Comedy

Historical and material about history.

In Aristophanes' "Lysistrata," the women of Athens come up with a foolproof method for ending the Peloponnesian War. What is it?
Aristophanes took the venerable institution of the Greek chorus and, well, played with it. In particular, he dressed his choruses up as various objects. Name four (4) non-human choruses from Aristophanes plays.
The great tragedy of Mr. Jack Worthing's life in society is that he has no parents. As he himself freely admits, "I don't know who I actually am by birth. I was, well, I was found." Where was Mr. Worthing found? Be specific.
According to P.G. Wodehouse, whom would you find asleep over the following tomes: (a) "Wiffle on the Care of the Pig," and (b) "Wodehouse on the Niblick"?
What is Mercutio's last (and greatest) pun?
According to the 2,000-Year-Old Man, whom did men worship before discovering God?
According to Bill Cosby, what did God say to Adam and Eve when he found out they had eaten the apple?
According to Bill Cosby, how did Noah answer his neighbor, when his neighbor asked why Noah was building an ark in his driveway?
What do these names have in common (besides being in our Comedy Superbonus): S.J. Perelman, Ben Hecht, Alexander Wollcott, Dorothy Parker, Edna Ferber, Heywood Broun, George Kaufman, Moss Hart, Franklin P. Adams, and Robert Sherwood?
Who carried the bagatelle?

Complete each of the following lines from Monty Python:

If you hadn't nailed it to the perch......
Cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with......
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine......
We find the defendant not......
We don't normally censure you......
Sit on my face.......
I never wanted to be a barber.......
If we took the bones out.......
And after the spanking.......
Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great/ And when a sperm is wasted.......
Where's the fetus going to gestate......
Well, all right, so people say that you don't care/ But you've got nicer legs than _____, and bigger tits than ______.
When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely.......

Identify the source of each of the following places.

Arizonia to Babylonia
Baby Doc Medical College
Betelgeuse 5
Curl Up And Dye
Doubleback Alley
Duchy of Grand Fenwick
Freedonia
Home Office in Milwaukee
Hungry Heifer
"An inflamed boil on the buttocks of the world"
Leutonia
Massachusetts State Home for the Terminally Bewildered
The Ngaio Marsh
Remulak
Slausen cut-off "Tonight Show."
Whatsamatta U.

Romantic Interludes.
Identify the speakers, the TV shows (#1-7) or films (#8-15), and the situations in which each of the following quotations appeared.

"I can't. I can, you know, but I can't."
"Your picture's in my wallet, and I'm sitting on it. If that's not love, what is?" "M*A*S*H."
"If she won't come of her own free will, bring her in on a rope!"
"Was I clumsy? Did I whimper a lot?" "No, you were WONDERFUL!" "Then it wasn't me!"
"Don't touch me, Michael, unless you mean business!"
"Noogie Patrol!" "Saturday Night Live."
"I'll bet that makes his putter stand up."
"You just broke my force field." "Yeah, you win."
"You drag me out of jail, you're like Jerry Lewis, you give me hope to carry on, but then you leave me in the lurch while you strap on your six-gun!"
"A real woman could stop you from drinking." "It would have to be a real big woman."
"It's twue! It's twue!"
"Is it supposed to be this soft?"
"Taffeta, Darling." "Taffeta, Sweetheart."
"Do you want this body?" "Is this a trick question?"
"We'll have to raise the taxes," "I've got an uncle who lives in Taxes!" "No, no, I'm talking about taxes. Money. Dollars." "That's where my uncle lives-- Dollars, Taxes!"
"You don't understand, ____. I'm a man!" "Well, nobody's perfect."
"And after that, we'll play "the abduction and cruel rape of Lucretia," and I'll be Lucretia." "And I'll be rape."
"You're the greatest lover I ever had." "Well, I practice a lot on my own."
"Some women take longer. Find her erogenous zones." "Her father gave me a map of them, and still...."
"I was shy." "You were shy? After the car, the elevator, the bed, the top of the refrigerator, you were shy?"

Props.
Identify each of the following props with the comedian associated with it.

Telephone
Pencils with erasers on both ends.
Steamroller
"Stuff"
Surgical glove.
Powdered water.
Rollerskate and spring shoe
Cat handcuffs
Violin (two people, please)
Bicycle horn.
A duck with a mustache
Baby coach wheels
Switchboard
Small tape recorder