Comedy

Historical and material about history.

In Aristophanes' "Lysistrata," the women of Athens come up with a foolproof method for ending the Peloponnesian War. What is it?
They deny their husbands sex until the men become so deperate they will agree to anything-- even peace. (Greek comedy)
Aristophanes took the venerable institution of the Greek chorus and, well, played with it. In particular, he dressed his choruses up as various objects. Name four (4) non-human choruses from Aristophanes plays.
Frogs, wasps, birds, clouds. (Greek comedy)
The great tragedy of Mr. Jack Worthing's life in society is that he has no parents. As he himself freely admits, "I don't know who I actually am by birth. I was, well, I was found." Where was Mr. Worthing found? Be specific.
In a handbag in a cloakroom, at Victoria Station on the British Line. (From "The Importance of Being Earnest," by Oscar Wilde.)
According to P.G. Wodehouse, whom would you find asleep over the following tomes: (a) "Wiffle on the Care of the Pig," and (b) "Wodehouse on the Niblick"?
(a) Clarence, Earl of Emsworth; and (b) The Oldest Member. (P.G. Wodehouse novels.)
What is Mercutio's last (and greatest) pun?
"Ask for me tomorrow and you shall find me a grave man." (Shakespeare, "Romeo and Juliet," III, i, 97-98.)
According to the 2,000-Year-Old Man, whom did men worship before discovering God?
Phil. (Carl Reiner-Mel Brooks routines.)
According to Bill Cosby, what did God say to Adam and Eve when he found out they had eaten the apple?
"(Whistle) Everybody out of the pool!" (Bill Cosby routine.)
According to Bill Cosby, how did Noah answer his neighbor, when his neighbor asked why Noah was building an ark in his driveway?
"How long can you tread water?" (Cosby routine.)
What do these names have in common (besides being in our Comedy Superbonus): S.J. Perelman, Ben Hecht, Alexander Wollcott, Dorothy Parker, Edna Ferber, Heywood Broun, George Kaufman, Moss Hart, Franklin P. Adams, and Robert Sherwood?
All were regulars at the Algonquin Round Table in New York City during the 1920s and 1930s.
Who carried the bagatelle?
The Harlequin. (Arlequino, from Italian Commedia dell'arte.)

Complete each of the following lines from Monty Python:

If you hadn't nailed it to the perch......
.....it'd be pushing up daisies.
Cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with......
......a herring!
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine......
.....who was just as sloshed as Shlegel.
We find the defendant not......
....guilcup.
We don't normally censure you......
.....we just want the money.
Sit on my face.......
.....and tell me that you love me.
I never wanted to be a barber.......
......I always wanted to be a LUMBERJACK.
If we took the bones out.......
.....it wouldn't be crunchy, would it?
And after the spanking.......
.....the oral sex.
Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great/ And when a sperm is wasted.......
....God gets quite irate.
Where's the fetus going to gestate......
.....are you going to keep it in a box?
Well, all right, so people say that you don't care/ But you've got nicer legs than _____, and bigger tits than ______.
Hitler, Cher.
When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely.......
......turned his tail and fled.

Identify the source of each of the following places.

Arizonia to Babylonia
"King Tut" by Steve Martin.
Baby Doc Medical College
"Doonesbury."
Betelgeuse 5
Ford Prefect's home planet, in the "Hitchhiker's Guide" series.
Curl Up And Dye
Carrie Fisher's hair salon, in "The Blues Brothers."
Doubleback Alley
Title of song by the Rutles.
Duchy of Grand Fenwick
Tiny nation from "The Mouse That Roared."
Freedonia
Country where Groucho Marx is ruler, from "Duck Soup."
Home Office in Milwaukee
Source of David Letterman's Top Ten lists.
Hungry Heifer
Norm's culinary hangout, on "Cheers."
"An inflamed boil on the buttocks of the world"
Major Winchester's first description of the 4077th, from "M*A*S*H."
Leutonia
The homeland of Yosh and Stan Shmenge, polka masters from "SCTV."
Massachusetts State Home for the Terminally Bewildered
Rest facility mentioned by Tom Lehrer.
The Ngaio Marsh
Locale from "Bored of the Rings."
Remulak
Home planet of Beldar Conehead and his family.
Slausen cut-off
Running gag on the "Tea Time Movie" sketches from Johnny Carson's "Tonight Show."
Whatsamatta U.
Rocky and Bullwinkle's alma mater.

Romantic Interludes.
Identify the speakers, the TV shows (#1-7) or films (#8-15), and the situations in which each of the following quotations appeared.

"I can't. I can, you know, but I can't."
Ted Baxter resisting seductress on "The Mary Tyler Moore Show."
"Your picture's in my wallet, and I'm sitting on it. If that's not love, what is?"
Frank Burns, having steamy phone conversation with his wife, from "M*A*S*H."
"If she won't come of her own free will, bring her in on a rope!"
Mr. Ed, asking Wilbur for the filly that rejected him, on "Mr. Ed."
"Was I clumsy? Did I whimper a lot?" "No, you were WONDERFUL!" "Then it wasn't me!"
Latka and Simka, after Simka has slept with Latka's alternate personality Vic Ferrari, on "Taxi."
"Don't touch me, Michael, unless you mean business!"
Gloria to Mike, after Mike has informed her he does not want a child, on "All in the Family."
"Noogie Patrol!"
Todd wooing Lisa in his own cool fashion, on a "Nerd sketch" from "Saturday Night Live."
"I'll bet that makes his putter stand up."
Johnny Carson to Arnold Palmer's wife, on "The Tonight Show."
"You just broke my force field." "Yeah, you win."
Russell and Louise, in "Stripes."
"You drag me out of jail, you're like Jerry Lewis, you give me hope to carry on, but then you leave me in the lurch while you strap on your six-gun!"
Penny to Buckaroo, in "Buckaroo Banzai...."
"A real woman could stop you from drinking." "It would have to be a real big woman."
Susan trying to change Arthur, in "Arthur."
"It's twue! It's twue!"
Lily von Shtupp discovering a real big secret about Sheriff Bart, in "Blazing Saddles."
"Is it supposed to be this soft?"
Mandy to Greg, during intimate moment in "Animal House."
"Taffeta, Darling." "Taffeta, Sweetheart."
Elizabeth and Frederick, in "Young Frankenstein."
"Do you want this body?" "Is this a trick question?"
Possessed Dana to Dr. Peter Venkman, in "Ghostbusters."
"We'll have to raise the taxes," "I've got an uncle who lives in Taxes!" "No, no, I'm talking about taxes. Money. Dollars." "That's where my uncle lives-- Dollars, Taxes!"
Groucho and Chico, in "Duck Soup." (Well, SOMEBODY on Pygmies found this romantic.)
"You don't understand, ____. I'm a man!" "Well, nobody's perfect."
Daphne revealing his secret to an unconcerned Osgood, in "Some Like It Hot."
"And after that, we'll play "the abduction and cruel rape of Lucretia," and I'll be Lucretia." "And I'll be rape."
Elderly matron getting her money's worth from Max Bialystock, in "The Producers."
"You're the greatest lover I ever had." "Well, I practice a lot on my own."
Countess Alexandrovna to Boris (Woody Allen), in "Love and Death."
"Some women take longer. Find her erogenous zones." "Her father gave me a map of them, and still...."
Marcello and Fabrizio, in Woody Allen's "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex..."
"I was shy." "You were shy? After the car, the elevator, the bed, the top of the refrigerator, you were shy?"
Madison, in "Splash."

Props.
Identify each of the following props with the comedian associated with it.

Telephone
Bob Newhart.
Pencils with erasers on both ends.
Johnny Carson.
Steamroller
David Letterman.
"Stuff"
George Carlin.
Surgical glove.
Howie Mandel.
Powdered water.
Steven Wright.
Rollerskate and spring shoe
Gallagher.
Cat handcuffs
Steve Martin.
Violin (two people, please)
Jack Benny, Henny Youngman.
Bicycle horn.
Harpo Marx.
A duck with a mustache
Groucho Marx.
Baby coach wheels
Bill Cosby.
Switchboard
Lily Tomlin.
Small tape recorder
Steve Landesberg.