I. It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's...... a Flying Bathtub?

1. Archimedes
   Night Owl

2. Birdie
   

3. Blackbird (3)
   Prof. Xavier; Psylocke

4. The Bug
   

5. Fantasti-Car (2)
   Reed Richards

6. Heli-Carrier
   SHIELD

7. Quinjet
   Tony Stark

8. Smartship Friday
   Aelfyre Whitemane

9. Spider-Mobile (2)
   Spider-Man and the Human Torch

10. Super-Mobile
    

II. LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION!

1. BATMAN
   Lewis Wilson, Adam West, Michael Keaton (Kilmer and Clooney came later)

2. CAPTAIN AMERICA
   Matt Salinger; Dick Purcell; Reb Brown

3. CONAN
   Arnold Schwarzenegger

4. HULK
   Lou Ferrigno

5. SPIDER-MAN
   Nicholas Hammond

6. SUPERMAN
   Christoper Reeve; George Reeves; Kirk Alyn

7. WONDER WOMAN
   Linda Carter

8. FLASH GORDON
   Buster Crabbe; Sam J. Jones; Steve Holland

9. BUCK ROGERS
   Gil Gerard; Buster Crabbe

10. Name two actors who have starred as two different comic book characters each, with their roles, too.
    Buster Crabbe starred as Buck Rogers and Flash Gordon. Kirk Alyn starred as Superman and Blackhawk (and Lois Lane's father in the 1978 "Superman" movie).

III. A Rose By Any Other Name.... Would Still Leave Thorns In Your Skin-Tight Costume!

1. BIG RED CHEESE
   Captain Marvel (by Sivana)

2. BIG BLUE SCHOOLBOY
   Superman (by Luthor)

3. BOY HOSTAGE
   Robin (by Joker)

4. CAPTAIN WHITEBREAD
   Captain America

5. CORPORATE CRUSADER
   Possibly the Moon Roach (from "Cerebus")

6. THE DREAD ONE
   Dormammu

7. THE ALL FATHER
   Odin

8. GOLDILOCKS
   Thor (by Marvel wiseguys)

9. SHELL HEAD
   Iron Man (ditto)

10. WEB-HEAD
    Spider-Man (ditto ditto)

IV. BROTHER, CAN YOU SPARE A CLICHE?, or "He Said WHAT?!?"

1. Oh, my stars and garters!
   The Beast

2. By the Crimson Bands of Cyttorak!
   Dr. Strange.

3. By Lenin's Ghost!
   Colossus.

4. It's clobberin' time!
   The Thing.

5. Holey moley!
   Billy Batson/Captain Marvel.

6. With great power comes great responsibility.....
   Peter Parker/Spider-Man.

7. None are so blind as those who will not see.
   

8. Great Hera!
   Wonder Woman.

9. Say You!
   Johnny Thunder (summoning his Thunderbolt with the magic phrase "Cei Yu").

10. Criminals are a cowardly lot.......
    Bruce Wayne, becoming Batman.

11. Up, up, and away!
    Superman.

12. Flame on!
    Johnny Storm, becoming the Human Torch.

13. I'm the best at what I do, but what I do isn't very nice.
    Wolverine.

14. KIMOTA!
    Marvelman

15. Hurm.
    Rorschach.

VISUAL SECTION

1. Mr. Natural
2. Captain Klutz
3. Sgt. Dolan ("The Spirit")
4. 5 ("Peanuts")
5. The Crypt Keeper
6. Rosalyn the baby-sitter ("Calvin and Hobbes")
7. Eyebeam
8. Man-Bat
9. Cowboy Wally
10. Woozy Winks ("Plastic Man")
11. Reid Fleming, World's Toughest Milkman
12. Lt. Flap ("Beetle Bailey")
13. Amy and Jordan
14. Offissa B. Pupp ("Krazy Kat")
15. Binky ("Life in Hell")
16. Flaming Carrot
17. The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers
18. The Yellow Kid
19. Dondi
20. Fearless Fosdick ("L'il Abner")

PEANUTS

1. By the way, when IS Beethoven's birthday?
   Decemebr 16, 1770.

2. Lucy maintains that Beethoven was nothing much. Give two of her reasons, which she uses to prove that Beethoven was not great.
   He was never king; he was never on a bubble gum card.

3. Charlie Brown has entered two spelling bees, but fared miserably in each. Name the word that he stumbles on in the comic strip, and in the animated movie.
   Comic strip: He spells "maze" M-A-Y-S; Movie: He spells "beagle" B-A-G-E-L.

4. Charlie Brown hasn't had any better luck at the national pastime. Oddly, though his baseball team has never won a game (except by forfeit), they've been in the championship game at least four times. Naturally, Charlie manages to screw up in each. Give four ways in which he's been the goat.
   He strikes out with the bases loaded; he balks in the tying and winning runs; he tries to steal home in the bottom of the ninth; He drops an easy popout to the mound.

5. Charlie Brown has only gotten one trophy in his miserable life. What was it for, and (naturally) what went wrong?
   For bowling more than 100 (101); they spell his name "Braun."

6. What's the name of the monstrous, unseen cat that lives next door to Snoopy?
   World War Three.

7. Snoopy has a favorite authoress, who writes a series of books about a certain type of creature. Who is she, and what specific sorts of beasts are her subjects?
   Miss Helen Sweetstory; bunny-wunnies.

8. What does Snoopy do every Veteran's Day?
   Goes over to Bill Maudlin's house to drink root beer.

9. Snoopy once hiked all the way to Petaluma to participate in the world wrist-wrestling championships. How did he do?
   He was disqualified for not having a thumb.

   

10. Snoopy had a painting by one of the great masters, until it was destroyed by fire. He eventually replaced it with another. Which two artists did Snoopy collect?
    He replaced his burnt Van Gogh with an Andrew Wyeth.

11. Snoopy has had three partners in doubles tennis. Name them.
    Woodstock; Molly Volley; the garage.

12. How does Snoopy manage to maintain his balance while sleeping on top of his doghouse?
    The muscles on his ears contract to grip the slanted roof.

13. Name the five birds that make up Snoopy's nature troop.
    Woodstock, Olivier, Conrad, Bill and Harriet.

14. By rotating his ears at rapid speed, Snoopy is able to become a whirly-dog, with Woodstock as his pilot. According to the comic strip, where did Woodstock learn to fly a chopper?
    "In 'Nam."

15. In a school pageant a few years ago, Sally was panic-stricken because she was unable to remember her one line, which was "Hark!" When she finally took the stage, what did she say?
    "Hockey stick!"

    

16. What is the brand of cereal that the "Peanuts" gang eats for breakfast?
    Snicker-Snacks.

17. What are the maiden/married names of Linus' favorite teacher? What did he give her for a wedding present?
    Miss Othmar/Mrs. Havemeyer; a box of empty eggshells.

18. Where do the bugs hold their World Series?
    Inside Snoopy's food dish.

19. That vibrato "wa-wa-wa" noise represents parents, teachers, and other adults in the TV shows. But they're not the only characters you don't get to see. Please name at least six other silent, off-stage "Peanuts" personalities.
    The little red-haired girl; the Great Pumpkin; various teachers; others we forget....

20. Other characters in the strip are strange in a different way. They're inanimate objects. Name at least six "characters" that have no business being alive.
    The kite-eating tree; the pitcher's mound; Charlie Brown's glove; the school; a piece of paper (one strip); others we forget......

    

21. What are the first two lines of Snoopy's ever-unfinished novel?
    "It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out!"

22. According to Snoopy, what two things were dogs born to do?
    Bite people in the leg, and sleep in the sun.

23. What town does Snoopy's scruffy brother live in?
    Needles.

24. Charlie Brown seems doomed to always miss kicking that football. However, once when Charlie was in the hospital, Lucy swore that she'd hold the ball steady, if only he'd get well. Well, Charlie DID recover, and Lucy gritted her teeth and kept her promise. What happened?
    He kicked Lucy's hand, blowing his only chance to hit nothing but ball.

25. According to the flyer in "A Charlie Brown Christmas," what is the true meaning of Christmas?
    "Win money, money, money!"

What's that?
You say these questions are too obscure?
To that, we have but one answer:

SECTION A: Batman in the Comic Books

1. What are the real identities of the Penguin, the Riddler, Catwoman, and the Joker?
   Penguin-- Oswald Cobblepot; Riddler-- Edward Nigma; Catwoman-- Selina Kyle; Joker-- identity has never been revealed.

2. What is faithful manservant Alfred's last name?
   Pennyworth.

3. What was Robin doing on his debut cover?
   Jumping through a hoop, held by Batman.

4. Bob Kane is always credited as Batman's creator, but who had as much of a hand in the creation of Batman, Joker, et al, as Kane?
   Jerry Finger.

5. At the end of the Riddler's first appearance, he was caught in an amusement park explosion, and hurled into the river. When Batman went to check on his riddling remains, all he found was--- what?
   A single question mark, floating.

   
   

6. When the Joker made his first appearance, the last panel of the story was changed at the last minute. Why?
   The Joker originally died. A DC editor said the character was too good to kill that quickly, and a hastily-redrawn panel showed a shocked doctor saying the Joker would pull through after all.

7. When Frank Miller handed in his original version of "Dark Knight," he had to make at least two changes involving the Joker. What were the unexpurgated fates of Robin, and the Joker?
   It was learned that the original Robin was raped and killed by Joker; then Joker is killed outright by Batman. In the published version, an incredibly vague reference to Robin's fate remains, and Joker is forced to "finish the job" that Batman couldn't.

8. What was the name of the Batman-inspired gang that opposed the Mutants in "Dark Knight"?
   The Sons of the Bat.

9. Who killed the first Robins' parents? Who killed the second Robin's parents?
   First-- Boss Zucco; Second-- Killer Croc.

10. What is the ultimate secret of the Red Hood?
    The Red Hood was actually the Joker, years before he was the Joker. A bungled plunge into chemical waste while fleeing Batman permanently discolored his hair and features.

11. An ubiquitous figure in the Gotham underworld is petty hood "Matches" Malone. What is Matches' special secret?
    "Matches" Malone is actually Batman, in the disguise he uses to collect information.

12. What's the name of the TV talk show host who's among Joker's victims in "Dark Knight"?
    David Endochrine.

13. What's the name of that inter-dimensional ripoff of Mr. Mxyzptlk who used to pester the Dynamic Duo? What's the name of the short-lived dog partner they had?
    Bat-Mite; Ace the Bat-Hound.

14. What specific mental attribute does Barbara (Batgirl) Gordon possess?
    A photographic memory.

15. What's the name of the Joker's hideout, a la the Batcave?
    The Ha-Ha-Hacienda.

16. In a memorable two-part story several years back, the Joker figured he'd get rich by chemically altering the ecology of Earth. Had the mad fiend been successful, where would you see his crazy Joker-smile?
    On every fish in the world. The Joker figured he would then be able to collect royalties.

SECTION B: The Socko TV Series!!!

Tell us the answers to these Bat-questions, if you can:

1. What sort of protection did Batman devise, in order to avoid the ill effects of Penguin Gas?
   The Anti-Penguin Gas Pill, naturally!

2. King Tut's diabolical water torture was supposed to drive the Caped Crusader bats. How did the Gotham Guardian manage to keep his sanity intact?
   He repeated the multiplication tables over and over in his head, backwards. (NOTE: Actually, Tut's weapon was not water, but the "ancient Theban pebble torture.")

3. Later, Batman appeared to have fallen under the evil influence of Tut's mind-control scarab. But it turned out he'd been faking all along. How did Batman thwart the power of the scarab?
   He had wisely taken the precaution of coating his stomach with buttermilk.

4. In one episode, that ho-dad Joker challenged Batman to a surfing contest. What was the final score?
   Joker got 1 point, for "most colorful costume." Batman got all the rest, including a 50-point bonus for safety in the water.

5. What writer appears in practically every Bat-episode?
   William Shakespeare, inside whose head is the control that unlocks the Batpoles.

6. In December 1966, Hollywood hairstylist Jay Sebring got a little wanted publicity, by potraying Mr. "Oceanbring" on "Batman." IN August 1969, he got some more publicity that we're pretty sure he DIDN'T want. What happened to this Bat-bit player?
   He was among the victims of Charles Manson's gang.

7. In one episode, the Catwoman informs Batman that she's reformed, and wants to help the Caped Crusader in his fight AGAINST crime. With her inside knowledge of bad-guy-type stuff, she argues, Batman would be unstoppable. Batman is tempted, but asks Catwoman, "What about Robin?" Her answer?
   "We'll kill him."

SECTION C: The Colossal BAT-TV Movie!

1. During a reflective moment, the Boy Wonder asks Batman why they had been able to run and gambol about on the docks in their bright, garish costumes (including those of the villains) without inspiring ANYONE to call for the police. How does Batman explain the down-and-outers' seeming lack of concern?
   "They're rumpots, and used to seeing strange things, which they attribute to their alcoholic delusions."

2. Cleverly disguised as Commodore Schmidlap, the Penguin manages to get into the secret Batcave. It is there that he re-hydrates his five tubed henchmen, in the hopes of overwhelming the Dynamic Duo. However, the water he uses is unstable, and his plot is foiled. What, specifically, occurs to these unfortunate thugs?
   They turn into anti-matter and vanish, not to reappear..... in this world.

3. As always, the superior wiles and derring-do of Batman and Robin save the day. At the end of the movie, Batman tells the Boy Wonder that to avoid tumult, they should leave the United World Security Council meeting as inconspicuously as possible. How do they do this?
   They go out the window, and climb down the side of the building.

SECTION D: Bat-Miscellany

1. Who kills Batman's parents in the comics, in the TV show, and in the movie?
   Comics: Joe Chill; TV Show: Nobody; not an issue; Movie: The Joker

BAT-CONGRATULATIONS! You've reached the Bat-conclusion!