| Number | Speaker | Quote |
| 1 | Grover | Oh, hello there everybody! |
| 2 | Mr. Ed | Hello |
| 3 | David Letterman | I don’t know if it's, uh, interesting |
| 4 | Martin Luther King Jr. | I know you’re asking today, how long will it take? |
| 5 | Robin Williams | You are ready to go! You are going to be going for one hour! |
| 6 | Humphrey Bogart | You know, it’s always smart to have the right answers like that |
| 7 | Don Knotts | The first thing you do is to get the psychological edge on your adversary by showing supreme confidence. |
| 8 | Winston Churchill | So, I have myself full confidence |
| 9 | Judge Judy Sheindlin | You’re gonna be crying before this is over |
| 10 | Gracie Allen | Oh, if they ask me anything, I’ll just act dumb. |
| 11 | Donald Trump | And if you have a hard time with that, you’ve got some problems |
| 12 | Betty White | Deep down, you really are a douchebag |
| 13 | Garrison Keillor | Get out, get out more. Don’t sit in the house |
| 14 | Dr. Phil McGraw | Are you kidding me? What in the hell are you thinking? |
| 15 | Anna Russell | He's very strong, and he's very brave, and he's very stupid. |
| 16 | Chris Rock | We don’t need to hear everything right away |
| 17 | Jackie Chan | Your focus needs more focus |
| 18 | Christopher Walken | I wanna hold 'em like they do in Texas plays. Fold 'em, let him hit me, raise it, baby, stay with me - I love it! |
| 19 | Richard Simmons | If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times: I. Love. You. |
| 20 | Jason Bateman | Take it in the back end – you love taking it in the back end! |
| 21 | Kristin Chenoweth | Oh no, my cute misinformed friends, oh no. |
| 22 | Michael Jackson | There was doodoo, feces, thrown all over the walls, the floor, the ceiling |
| 23 | The Rock (Dwayne Johnson) | Sweet cream on an ice cream sandwich! What in the blue hell are you doing? |
| 24 | Ozzy Osbourne | That’s black magic, man, believe me, I’ve seen that before |
| 25 | William Shatner | When I speak, I never ever talk like every word is its own sentence! |
| 26 | Jeremiah Wright | America’s chickens! Coming home! To roost! |
| 27 | Jerry Seinfeld | I hate every single one of them. |
| 28 | Paris Hilton | But if there’s one thing I love more than cute dogs, it’s photo shoots. |
| 29 | Mr. T | Shut up, foo'! |
| 30 | Mick Jagger | What socks do you wear? What color socks do you like wearing? That’s pretty smart. |
| 31 | Richard Nixon | She does have a respectable Republican cloth coat. |
| 32 | Orson Welles | Mwaaaah, the French champagne has always been celebrated for its excellence |
| 33 | Truman Capote | Very few authors, especially the unpublished, can resist an invitation to read aloud. |
| 34 | James Joyce | Look, look, the dusk is growing... |
| 35 | James Earl Jones | This is CNN |
| 36 | Howard Cosell | That bouncing behemoth ballet |
| 37 | Maya Angelou | A rock, a river, a tree |
| 38 | Sarah Palin | It's been an embarrassment |
| 39 | John Wayne | Some of you may have seen me before |
| 40 | Jodie Foster | When I was 12 years old, a strange man kept coming to my hotel room every day |
| 41 | Mae West | Come up, I'll tell your fortune. |
| 42 | Lou Gehrig | I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth |
| 43 | Woody Allen | It’s all over much too quickly. |
| 44 | Angela Lansbury | I cannot believe that I did it and I’m still here and I haven’t finished |
| 45 | Peyton Manning | You know what, I'm bummed, too. Guess I’ll see you next fall. |
| 46 | Simon Cowell | There are only so many words I can drag out of my vocabulary to say how awful that was |
| 47 | Animal | Go home! Go home! Bye bye... |
There was only one field-stumper on Hour 2, I believe, a number limited by the use of Google by certain teams, methinks. (The stumper was the manifestly un-Googleable clip of James Joyce reading from Finnegans Wake.) Our apologies--for reasons that continue to confuse me, Laurie didn't want the Animal clip to count at the end, which I forgot to consider, so we had one fewer blank than needed at the end. Lots of Muppet-related confusion regarding Grover (we took Frank Oz, but not Miss Piggy). Many people also seemed to have the wrong Mr. Miyagi; it was the upcoming Jackie Chan version, not Pat Morita. We were impressed with the number of people who got Anna Russell. We hope you all enjoyed listening to Christopher Walken read the lyrics of Lady Gaga's "Poker Face."