Stuff Morty Should Definitely Do

2 bytes removed, 12:43, March 24, 2006
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# Play [[Beirut]] with me
# Sponsor "Forties with Morty." On his front lawn.
##*Morty Fortyhands!
# Splash some crazy colored paint on those black jeans.
# Three words: water-slide (the third word is just a Napoleon accent).
# Make Mountain Day a daily event
## *Come to Stoney Ledge on Mountain Day!
# Deep-six anchor housing. Like, literally. Strap the idea to a big ol' anchor and chuck it in the briny deep.
## *See [[Brent Yorgey]]'s humor piece on that subject [ here].
# Move New York City 30 mins from campus.
# Make a public speech announcing that he henceforth wishes to be referred to as "The Hammer".
# Use proceeds from the $400M Capital Campaign to buy an iced-out medallion in the shape of the new Student Center to wear around his neck at all times. Then, inscribe the words, "Morton Owen 'Big Thangs' Schapiro" on said medallion.