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Men's Golf Team

1,459 bytes added, 12:05, May 5, 2006
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The highlight of the golf team's season is an annual 2-week Spring Break trip to the East Coast of Florida. The team goes to improve their golf and [[beirut]] skills. Detailed statistics for golf (fairways, greens in regulation, putts, sand saves, and penalty strokes) and beirut (cups hit, wal-marts, last cup hit, quotes) are meticulously recorded. In 2004 and 2005, Zach "Uncle Th" McArthur wrote up comprehensive reports, complete with color pictures, that totaled over 100 pages containing every game of beirut played over break. From the statistics, it is clear that golf skill and beirut skill do not tend to overlap. As one increases the other, as sad as it may be, declines. An inverse relationship per se, or whatever. This is especially clear in the cases of Matt Slovitt and Kevin Kellert, clearly the two best golfers on the team, and even more clearly, the two worst beirut partners on the team.
 
Coach Pohle appears to schedule the golf tee times so that the team's hangovers (and his own) wear off before the first ball is hit. Often playing at 1pm, and of course, ALWAYS with a cart, the team's golf is consistently awful over break. Rounds of 100 are not uncommon. It took Zach McArthur 30 rounds on Spring Break before he broke 80 in his last one - shooting 78 and losing to Coach Pohle by a shot on the final hole.
 
Some of the better courses hacked up by the team are "Not So" Grand Harbor's River course (nickname by Ned Wydysh '04...), Hawk's Nest, BallenIsles, PGA Golf Club's Dye course, and the McArthur Club. The worst course played is certainly Sand Ridge - "off to Sand Crotch again," says Ned at the beginning of every Spring Break.
 
Housing on Spring Break has varied quite a bit in recent years. 2003 and 2004 were spent in one of the grossest Motel 6's in the world, where dogs ran wild, some rooms appeared to contain entire extended families, a prostitute wanted to smoke up with Ned Wydysh and Bryan Harmon '04, and Matt Slovitt used the parking lot as his personal urinal. In 2005, after getting kicked out of Motel 6 (maybe it was the plywood thrown in the pool, BH?), Rick Pohle hooked the team up with 2 condos overlooking the PGA Golf Club. It was paradise. Night golf on the par-3 course out back was common, more beirut was played than ever, and the accomodations were even nice enough that girls came over one night.
The team enjoys weekly trips to the [[Guide_to_Off-Campus_Dining#Ye_Olde_Forge|Old Forge Restaurant]], Bob Seger, and Lapdog.
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