Geoff Rodriguez

noun - track AND cross country star; competitive eater; excellent mustache potential; die-hard Boston sports fan

Examples:

1. Wow! Geoff Rodriguez sure is speedy!

2. I'll bet Geoff Rodriguez could eat more jalapenos than you.

3. Who was that shady character doing prairie fires while watching the Red Sox? Oh yeah! It was Geoff Rodriguez.

4. Did you see Geoff go crazy when the Sox won the Series? Yeah...but he was miserable when the Pats lost the Superbowl.

A product of Lexington, MA (yes, THAT Lexington, MA), Geoff Rodriguez stormed onto the Williams College scene in August 2007. The women immediately swooned, and the upper classmen immediately felt inadequate (yes, THAT type of inadequate). Sadly, the ladies were soon disappointed, as Geoff Rodriguez also came to College with a girlfriend, effectively taking him off the market.

Don't think you know Geoff Rodriguez? FALSE. You probably just know him by another name. Perhaps you commonly refer to him as:

a) G-Rod b) G-Code c) Titanium

An explanation:

a) stems from the combination of the first letter in his first name (G) and the first three letters of his last name (Rod). Also, this is something of a homonym, as it could also be a lewd synonym for a part of the male anatomy (yes, THAT part of the male anatomy).

b) stems from the combination of the first letter in his first name (G) and the fact that, as any Ghetto Boy will tell you, he doesn't "talk to police, make a peace bond, or trust in the judicial sytem." His defining moment came in the aftermath of the inaugural D3-a-thon, in which he was indeed the sober bartender, and he indeed refused to "pour out the soda."

c) stems from the fact that Geoff Rodriguez is partly made of metal. The reader may use his or her imagination. The moral of the story is: No force, natural or manmade, can derail Geoff Rodriguez.