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Jesse Levitt
Jesse Levitt is a cross between Alpha Centauri and a Cocker Spaniel. Jesse Levitt would like to thank Quaker Oats and the Letter K for helping him get where he is today. Last year, it was conclusively proven by the Williams College Math Department that a solution exists for Jesse Levitt.
The best advice ever given with respect to dealing with Jesse Levitt - "Do not, no matter what, get sucked into Jesse's personal life". (Peter Nunns and Adam McKay)
Jesse Levitt once went missing from campus for 18 hours. Although he was actually in Schow library, Peter Nunns, who had not seen him all day, alerted security and WPD to mount a search. For further reading, see here