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Jim Carlton
Also known as JTC. Jim is a worldwide expert on introduced species, who has testified before Congress and has been on NPR and National Geographic. He is known for his "barnacle dance" and for having 996 crabs in his office, which people have sent him over the years. Jim is sustained mostly on processed sugar, and has not experienced a fruit or vegetable for several decades.
Also see the awesome rap about JTC.
http://www.williams.edu/williamsmystic/academics/img/carlton.jpg