Natural Disasters

Natural Disasters is a hilarity-inducing variation on the classic drinking game "Landmines."

PHYSICAL REQUIREMENTS: -One Quarter -A table -Your drink-of-choice (in-can form!) -A deck of playing cards -Some friends (six or more make a jolly game)

THE SETUP: Invite your friends to gather around your low, smallish table. Appoint a dealer to shuffle and give out cards. Grab your quarter, and ask everyone to open their drink. Traditionally, a hearty yelling of "NATURAL DISASTERRRRS!" is in order. And you're ready to play!

GAMEPLAY: The play of Natural Distasters is relatively simple: the dealer flips a card, and the active player then spins a quarter and drinks for HALF THE FACE VALUE OF THE CARD (rounded up). For example, if one were to receive a 10, five seconds of drinking is kindly asked. For a 3, you would skate by with a mere two seconds. All players count out loud to ensure adequate intoxication. Once the short time limit is reached, the player quickly puts their drink back on the table, and must now pick up the still-spinning quarter with the hand the drink was in. If the player accomplishes this task, the quarter is passed to right and a new turn begins. However, if the quarter falls to the table before the active player picks it up, said player must replay his or her turn until success is achieved.

NOTE: If the quarter falls over or flies off the table, the player MUST STILL DRINK FOR THE ALLOTTED AMOUNT OF TIME, spinning quarter or no.

THE TURN When a player finishes his or her drink, that player has gained an active "Land mine." He or she is free to prematurely spoil an opponent's turn by placing the empty can over the still-spinning quarter. Once a landmine is placed, it remains there for the rest of the game (creating tricky spinning conditions for opponents). Watch out! Landmines accumulate quickly, and no one wants to be caught alone in a mine field!

THE PRESTIGE Face Cards: Folded neatly in each face card's back pocket is a Mother Nature-issued warrant for wreaking havoc. If the player receives a face card, their objective remains very much the same (i.e., they must drink while the quarter is still spinning), but now they must withstand the added might of....

Jack: EARTHQUAKE! All players shake the table, attempting to throw the quarter off the table or disrupt the quarter's equilibrium! Queen: HAILSTORM! All players de-tab and 'rain' said tabs upon the opponent's spinning quarter. NOTE: ALL tabs available in the room are fair game. King: WINDSTORM! All players blow on the opponent's spinning quarter, attempting to throw it off the table or run it into a waiting landmine. Windstorm is by far the most Natural of all natural disasters. Ace: GLOBAL WARMING! Lucky! Due to the rising sea level, everyone but the active player must drink to survive!

Notes for Face Cards: The amount of drinking time for EARTHQUAKE, HAILSTORM, and WINDSTORM goes unspecified. The author suggests "a decent sip;" the creators recommend "several big gulps." As for Global Warming, both the creators and the author have agreed to flip a second card to determine the amount of time their opponents must imbibe.

Non-Card Natural Disasters: VOLCANO! - If your active drink foams upon opening, you are said to have created a Volcano. Awesome! Now drink it into submission! LAGOON! - If a clumsy freshman girl spills her Keystone all over your table, CONGRATULATIONS! You have your first Lagoon! Instead of being upset, the dealer and any players "in the know" yell "a Lagoooon!" and merriment ensues. The lagoon, of course, stays on the table. Players must now skillfully navigate its treacheries. WATERFALL - If you join the game late, you are asked to open a new drink, hold it about 8-12" above you, and tactfully "waterfall" a non-trivial amount of the liquid into your expectant maw.

Miscellaneous rules/strategies: -For the placing of landmines, there are some nuanced distinctions of expertise. If the predator places the landmine well, he will have trapped the quarter underneath its concave bottom. This is known as a "clean" hit. If the quarter rebounds or shoots out from under the landmine, however, the hit is condemned as "sloppy," forcing the miner himself to drink along with the active player. Regardless of whether a mining is clean or sloppy, the active player will probably have to replay the turn anyway. All mines, clean and sloppy, stay on the table. In truth anything that should appear on the table, so long as the game is responsible for its appearance, is permanent.

-That said, tricksy players have been known to utilize the WINDSTORM to blow around pesky landmines in their line of fire. For the sake of fairness, the creators have established the "Hemisphere Rule," which states that no adverse winds shall blow on the half of the table unoccupied by the quarter.

-Natural Disasters is the result of wild experimentation and saying Yes to Nature-themed issues. We encourage all players to BS their way to calling new disasters, such as "El Nino," "Continental Drift," or "Male Pattern Baldness."

ENJOY