Anonymous

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Chuan Ji

34 bytes removed, 22:20, November 23, 2012
Birth
He loves beer. When he has money, he buys computers and drinks beer; when he doesn’t have money, he sells his computers and still … drinks beer.
==Birth (Crafted by Jonathon Hengchao Gu)==
At an undisclosed date roughly 20 years ago, Ji emerged fully formed from the belly of a vintage Commodore 64 as a being of pure electromagnetic waveform. The force of his inception immediately disintegrated 13 out of 15 flabbergasted eyewitnesses, who were afterwards only identifiable by the human-shaped burn marks they left scattered in their wake. The 14th and closest in proximity to the event was actually blasted backwards in time, where his brief, tortuous final moments traumatically scarred a young Edvard Munch and formed the inspiration for his famous painting, The Scream (note the characteristic time-space distortions surrounding the victim, who has been charred black across most of his body by the incredible thermodynamic force of that which was and is Chuan Ji). The 15th, a young Jim Lee, was shielded by an innocuous oak desk and three hundred yards of lead, and so escaped relatively unscathed. He was so moved by what he had witnessed that years later he would attempt to recreate the same experience in the controversial 1997 Superman Red/Blue storyline, attempting to draw an analogy between Chuan Ji and the most powerful fictional character his mind could conceive. Unfortunately his creative powers proved unable to encapsulate the essence of Chuan Ji, and so he burned out his imagination, the only notable future product of which proved to be a hideous mullet.
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