Anonymous

Changes

Chuan Ji

165 bytes added, 22:21, November 23, 2012
Contributions to WSO
Several eyewitness accounts corroborate his being originally born in China, where he finished high school in Beijing. Amongst his many titles, he is known to be a big, nice and multi-talented computer nerd.
 
A nice profile picture of Chuan: http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/308_18347534245_1606_n.jpg
==Contribution to WSO==
He loves beer. When he has money, he buys computers and drinks beer; when he doesn’t have money, he sells his computers and still … drinks beer.
==Birth (Crafted by Jonathon Hengchao Gu)==
At an undisclosed date roughly 20 years ago, Ji emerged fully formed from the belly of a vintage Commodore 64 as a being of pure electromagnetic waveform. The force of his inception immediately disintegrated 13 out of 15 flabbergasted eyewitnesses, who were afterwards only identifiable by the human-shaped burn marks they left scattered in their wake. The 14th and closest in proximity to the event was actually blasted backwards in time, where his brief, tortuous final moments traumatically scarred a young Edvard Munch and formed the inspiration for his famous painting, The Scream (note the characteristic time-space distortions surrounding the victim, who has been charred black across most of his body by the incredible thermodynamic force of that which was and is Chuan Ji). The 15th, a young Jim Lee, was shielded by an innocuous oak desk and three hundred yards of lead, and so escaped relatively unscathed. He was so moved by what he had witnessed that years later he would attempt to recreate the same experience in the controversial 1997 Superman Red/Blue storyline, attempting to draw an analogy between Chuan Ji and the most powerful fictional character his mind could conceive. Unfortunately his creative powers proved unable to encapsulate the essence of Chuan Ji, and so he burned out his imagination, the only notable future product of which proved to be a hideous mullet.
Chuan Ji himself could not be reached for comment, because he is currently on an interstellar journey defending several galaxies from the simultaneous threats of the Reapers, the Empire, Kirby, and 16 year old hipster gamers who all of the sudden think that playing CoD renders them the “hardcore,” to which the entire industry must pander.
 ==Contributions to WSO (Crafted by Jonathon Hengchao Gu)==
He saved most of the WSO data from a backup once the hard drive in WSO’s main server went bad. In order to do so he was obliged to fight ten highly trained Karatekas with a sweet potato and destroy 8 castles staffed by fire-breathing turtles.
He fixed tons of bugs for WSO website. Amazingly, many of these were done on his x-inch Android phone. Few are privy to the fact that this is because his phone conceals ancient Cybertronian technology.
He once claimed, “Even though one day I myself will leave this campus, my code will still be here!” Other quotes often attributed to him include: “俺はだれだと思っている?!”, “Veni,vidi, vici,” and “Why am I so great?!”, a phrase later aped by Lion Rafale from Virtua Fighter.
 
==Thanks==
 
'''Jonathon Hengchao Gu''' for editing this post
 
'''Qiao Zhang''' for fixing the create functionality of Willipedia
6
edits