Conspiracy Theories

The End Times are here! Reveal your ties to the fringe culture by answering these questions about all things conspiratorial. Call the PUS line (x2197) and ask if you have any questions, comments, or secret information regarding the Illuminati.

1. For starters, from where do the classic alien Greys supposedly come?
   Zeta 2 Reticuli (accept variations on Reticulum)

2. In the lore surrounding RFK's assassination, who is the Polka-Dot Woman?
   Sirhan's accomplice/hypnotic trigger/programmer. Seen with him a bit before the assassination.

3. The legendary top-secret testing area, near Nellis Air Force Base, north of Las Vegas, has been referred to by many names. List as many as you can.
   Area 51, Groom Lake, S/4, The Ranch, Dreamland, Skunk Works, Neverland, Hangar 18

4. "You can't say Dallas doesn't love you." What is the significance of this phrase?
   It was the last thing JFK heard before he was shot.

5. Who shot J.D. Tippitt on the day of the Kennedy Assassination?
   Lee Harvey Oswald

6. What occurrence do some eyewitnesses at Elvis' funeral cite as evidence that the body in the coffin was not actually Him?
   It was sweating. (Corpses don't sweat. Theory suggests that it was a wax dummy that was melting.) [Note: I also accepted the fact that his middle name, Aron, is spelled wrong on his grave (Aaron).]

7. Elvis' hairdresser says he saw Joe Esposito remove something from Elvis' corpse, and feels this suggests he's not dead. What was it?
   His famous "TCB" ring

8. What common item is cited as emblematic evidence of continued Masonic interest in creating a new order for the ages?
   The dollar bill / Great Seal of the United States

9. What private security corporation, headquartered in Florida, has been linked in popular conspiracies to the FEMA, the CIA, the aforementioned Nevada site, and the New World Order?
   Wackenhut

10. Name the post-WWII Operation that paved the way for German scientists to work for the U.S., provided that they "weren't Nazis." Then name one notable scientist who did work for the U.S. and who most certainly was a Nazi previously.
    Operation Paper Clip; Wehrner Von Braun or Kurt Blome are the best known

11. What were the Tuskegee experiments?
    Government experiments which allowed black men to go untreated for syphilis, while they thought they were being treated. The day of the contest, Clinton apologized publicly for the incident...

12. How about the Litchfield experiments?
    super-intelligence cloning/breeding experiments. Most definitely apocryphal, unless you are a true believer.

13. It is true that the U.S. government conducted studies in mind control. What was the code name for this project?
    MK-ULTRA

14. Some postulate that William Randolph Hearst's industrial interests in wood pulp products compelled him to launch a yellow journalism campaignone that eventually led to what legislation, still debated today?
    Making hemp/marijuana a controlled substance

15. The shadow goverment, faced with a dying planet, first considers releasing pollution through holes blown in the atmosphere by nuclear weapons. Then it considers constructing vast subterranean cities. Finally, it chooses to evacuate selected people to secret installations on the moon. What name is given to this scenario, which circulated in the 70s?
    Alternative III

16. Crime boss Carlos Marcello reputedly said, "If you cut off a dog's tail, the dog will keep biting. But if you cut off its head, the dog will die." What did he mean?
    Killing JFK was his revenge against RFK, who as Attorney General deported him to Guatemala

17. Famous movie producer Thomas Ince was mysteriously shot to death. Theories suggest that it occurred on W. R. Hearst's yacht, and that Hearst actually meant to shoot someone else. Who?
    Charlie Chaplin

18. Who was Dorothy Kilgallen?
    A gossip columnist who conducted one of the few in-depth interviews with Jack Ruby. She claimed she had evidence of a conspiracy, and was found dead soon after.

19. How about Karen Silkwood?
    Worker at an Oklahoma nuclear power plant; was trying to blow the whistle on safety violations. On her way to a meeting where she was going to present evidence to authorities, she was killed in a mysterious car accident. The files in her car disappeared.

20. Dr. Jose Delgado?
    The archvillian of mind control paranoids. Testified before Congress that mind control is justified and necessary. Conducted research into electronic stimulation of the brain.

21. James Earl Ray is still claiming he was framed. What name does he give for the man who set him up?
    "Raoul"

22. What up and coming politician authored the single bullet theory?
    Arlen Specter

23. Debunk the single bullet theory, scientifically, in thirty words or less.
    A number of ways:
    • Describe the ludicruous path through space-time the bullet would have needed to take

    • The amount of shrapnel found in Connelly's wrist alone was more than the amount missing from the One True Bullet.

    • The Zapruder film shows 1.3 seconds between shots, not enough time for Oswald to reload, so there must be a second shooter

    • Right after Kennedy is hit in the neck, Connelly is still holding his hat in his hand, impossible if his wrist is shattered. So that wound must come from a second bullet

24. What phrase is used frequently to refer to an ultra-secret South American cloning project, of which Lee Harvey Oswald was reputedly a product?
    "The Boys From Brazil"

25. Hale Boggs, Warren Commission member who in 1971 accused Hoover's FBI of using "Gestapo tactics," disappeared in a plane over Alaska later that year and was never found. Who drove him to the airport?
    A young William Jefferson Clinton

Creative Response

Finally, there is a page of comic illustrations attached, showing nefariousness afoot in America. Please fill in the captions and explain to us what horrible conspiracy is underway.
We'll leave this to the imagination.