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Really? My dad owns Pabst, and controls your supply of cheap, lukewarm beer. Without his glorious corporation, you'd have to spend even more of your paltry work-study funds on alcohol. How would your dad feel if the entire Beiruit-centered culture of Williams collapsed at our feet? I would guess that he would feel terrible.
Pabst? Any self-loathing student knows that natty, busch or beast are the mainstay of this campus for beirut. How do I know this? My dad invented beirut. He was there years ago foreseeing the war on terrorism, when he decided that people accurately bombarding strategic targets with ping-pong balls is henceforth to be called Beirut, and anyone who disagrees is a terrorist. How would your dad feel if we didn't have a game to play to justify the consumption of his craptastic beer? I would guess that he would feel terrible.
