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Pabst? Any self-loathing student knows that natty, busch or beast are the mainstay of this campus for beirut. How do I know this? My dad invented beirut. He was there years ago foreseeing the war on terrorism, when he decided that people accurately bombarding strategic targets with ping-pong balls is henceforth to be called Beirut, and anyone who disagrees is a terrorist. How would your dad feel if we didn't have a game to play to justify the consumption of his craptastic beer? I would guess that he would feel terrible.
Oh, yeah? My dad is a professional ping-pong player. In fact, he revolutionized the game. Without him, we would still be batting around huge leather balls stuffed with feathers instead of the oh-so-bouncy plastic variety we see today. How would your dad feel if you contracted a mysterious eye disease from being splashed in the face with beer because the ball that plunked into your beer cup was too big and heavy? I would guess that he would feel terrible.
