#Jack Kling (09jak)
===Will be an asshole===
I will "cook for you," but I will then shun you and feed it all to my farm animals, just to spite you and waste your time. If/when you cook for me, I will tell you it is shitty and you should go die, before you even start cooking.
#Peter Shin (is a real asshole).
== Will Pretend To Be An Asshole At First ==
I will be genuinely intimidating when you first meet me, will be haughty, arrogant, and caustic, make fun of you, and drop references to ''Starship Troopers''(1997) without dropping a beat so that you never know whether I'm really saying something or incorporating a quote from ''Starship Troopers'' into casual conversation. Then, you will discover that everything was an act and that you've won my undying respect and admiration for withstanding all that bullshit with a patient smile on your face. We will indulge in a month or two of constant, passionate sex, to the detriment of schoolwork, social lives, etc. until I have your complete trust and devotion and you can't imagine spending your life with anyone else. Then, I'll stab you in the back by having sex with somebody else, just because I have this personality disorder where I only want to have sex with people that are somehow "off-limits," prompting you to discover that the sensitive, sexy me is the REAL act, and, as it turns out, your first impression was right: I was actually an asshole all along. Thus you will learn the bitter lesson that you must ALWAYS judge a book by its cover. PS: I will never cook for you.
#Miles Klee (is almost too good of an asshole)
===Will eat the animals you have slain and cooked===
#[[Samuel Weinreich]]: Location: East College Room 105, careful, he's usually naked (and it's not a pretty sight). May also be found playing Mario Kart, follow the annoying "woo hoo" noise. Preferred weapons with which to maim him: spears, marmots.
#[[Jarrad Wood]]: Usually found in Thompson or Schow. Follow the annoying laugh noises. Throw books at him, with Orgo mechanisms written all over them.
== Former Students ==