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The above is the "official" story. According to [[Jeff Stenzel]] '10 and [[Chris Liguori]] '10, the following is more accurate:
Andrew Goldston was born in 1973 and currently has 8 children, 2 grandchildren, and 3 more grandchildren on the way. He graduated in 1995, but has been creepily hanging around campus ever since, because that's just the kind of guy he is.
He also goes by the name Charlie.