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My Dad
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Oh yeah? My dad is God; Richard Dawkins always stops by to say He doesn't exist. He created Chuck Norris, the dad of the guy above me, who almost got his candidate of choice (Huckabee) elected.
God, eh? Well, my dad is [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russell%27s_teapot Russell's teapot]. If properly used, he totally obliterates God in an argument. How would you feel if my dad invalidated your dad's religious beliefs and/or poured scalding hot tea on his crotch? I would guess that this would be a tremendous blow to the integrity of his value system. And his crotch.