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Okay? My dad used to be a robot bodyguard for Jim Morrison. He could understand lasers, speak 6 robot languages, and walk sideways... while spinning his head 360 degrees to scare intruders. How would your dad feel about never having to take a break from using designer rockstar drugs to sleep, eat, or wash his hands? I would guess that he would feel terrible.
Is that so? My dad is the narrator from Robert A. Heinlein's -''All You Zombies-''. He was born a functional hermaphrodite and grew up to be a time-travelling bartender. Then he t.t.ed to his own past to kidnap himself and forced himself to come with him back in time to when he was 17 to seduce and impregnate himself. A year later, just before his 18 year old counter part had the sexual identity reconstruction operation, he stole her/his baby and took it back in time to be trained as a bartender. So in conclusion, my dad is my mom AND their only child, who is also me. How would your dad feel if he knew were he came from, but then had to ask somebody else about all the zombies? I would guess that he would feel terrible.
Huh? Well, my dad is actually [[Your Mom]]. How would your dad feel if he had another family on the side AND had to hide his pregnancy for nine months? I would guess that he would feel terrible.
Is that a fact? Well, my dad is [[Religion|God]]. How would your dad feel about total omnipotence? I would guess that he would feel terrible.
Oh really? Well, my dad is an atheist, and around the time you learned that Santa Claus was really your parents, I learned that God is really a fabrication of the ruling classes designed to dupe the masses into renouncing reason and believing that human freedom is unimportant and that misery will be rewarded in the afterlife. How would your dad feel about being told that this life existence is a blackfleeting, meaningless void? I would guess that he would feel terrible.
Don't be so sure. My dad is [[Morty Schapiro]]. He heads up the best school in the Purple Valley, not to mention in the country, or the rest of the world, and sports a wicked white beard. Everyone loves Morty, and even if they [[Stuff Morty Should Definitely Do|try to tell him what to do]], he doesn't listen, because he's a total badass. He is also the little-known leader of an underground street racing circuit in Bennington. How would your dad feel about getting the liberal arts kicked out of him? I would guess that he would feel terrible.
Is that all? My dad spent our entire family fortune... buying somebody else's soul on Ebay. Since then, our family has found countless uses for this extra soul. I can't even begin to explain how much better our lives have been because of it. "The truth of a single soul is inexpressible," my dad told me while our mom was softly crying in the corner. How would your dad feel about not being able to forcefeed his youngest son a second soul? I would guess that he would feel terrible.
Are you kidding me? My dad drinks gasolene to wash down his lunch. This one time, he walked into a gas station and just pumped that golden liquid straight down his throat infront in front of everybody. How would you dad feel if he were to drive his hummer past my dad and and it turned out to be more fuel-efficient? I would guess that he would feel terrible.
''Let the games begin...''
