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Are you kidding me? My dad drinks gasoline to wash down his lunch. This one time, he walked into a gas station and just pumped that golden liquid straight down his throat in front of everybody. How would your dad feel if he were to pull into a gas station and realize that his hummer was more fuel-efficient than my father? I would guess that he would feel terrible.
Big deal. My dad is really rich. He basically does whatever he wants. You know how upper-middle white people shop at Sam's Club and buy things in bulk? Well, my dad's so rich he buys things in SUPERBULK. Some rich people acquire the best things money can buy. My dad's philosophy is to acquire the ''most'' things money can buy. Like when I was a baby, my dad solved the Diaper Problem by buying 130 million disposable diapers, all on one order. That's enough to catch all the baby crap in Turkey for an entire year. Then my dad acquired another 2 million diapers for me by personally raiding a Red Cross relief ship headed for Africa. We still have most of those diapers. They're in our enormous basement. Anyway, how How would your dad like it if, on your parents' 25th anniversary, my dad reserved every table at every restaurant in America, and didn't let your parents sit at any of them? So that How would your dad was forced to celebrate his marriage over a couple of Quarter Pounders with Cheese? And then your like it if my dad came home to find bought up all the adult diapers in the country and dumped them on your front yard buried under six feet of unused Pamperslawn? I would guess that he would feel terrible.
So what... My dad is really an alien. He has sweet telepathy skills, and he invented the internet. How would your dad feel if he saw my dad's thirty-foot retractable penis? I would guess that he would feel terrible.
Oh give me a break! My dad used to be an embryo. Then he turned into a fetus and finally was born after which he became my liberal, Kerry-voting dad. How would your dad feel if when he was an embryo, he found out that my dad was pro-choice? I would guess that he would feel terrible.
Does this face look frightened? My dad works for the Department of Homeland Security. He has like Level 4 clearance, which means he can put anyone wearing a turban or who looks like they have "turban hair" on the terrorist watch list. How would your dad like to be racially capillarily profiled? I would guess that he would feel terrible.
Big whoop. My dad is Catullus. He's one of the foremost poets of ancient Rome. How would your dad like it if his writings were forever memorialized by my dad as "cacata carta"? The real question is, how will your dad feel when he finds out that "cacata carta" which is Latin for "paper having been shat out of my exceedingly tight anus"? I would guess that he will would feel terrible.
That's nothing. My dad is a wizard at technology. He could borrow all of your dad's copies of your childhood videos and edit them so that it was just him alone on the tapes. How would your dad feel then when he watched them again and began to question whether his family really existed? I would guess that he would feel terrible.
