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My Dad
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Truly? MY dad enjoys watersports. He once told me a story about filling a waterbottle with urine and then spraying it all over his girlfriend during sex. That's pretty disgusting. How would your dad feel after discovering that my dad isn't just really into waterskiing and swimming, but actually has a sexual fetish involving pee? I would guess that he would feel terrible.
Oh yeah? Well my dad is part of the hetero-normative linguistic culture. The entire world is his heterosexual pride party. How would your dad feel if he wrote a pseudo-intellectual postmodern critique of my dad’s linguistic tendencies, and my dad didn’t even understand it, much less care? I would guess that he would feel terrible.