Men's Golf Team

a Williams treasure: Taconic Golf Club

The Williams Men's Golf Team is one of the most successful Division III golf programs in the country and is the 8-time defending Little Three Champion. The team has made the 23-team NCAA Tournament field 9 of the last 11 years, with its best finish a 10th place showing in 1999. Roster size generally ranges from 10-14 players whose golf games range from scratch to 3 or 4 handicaps. Certainly one of the best perks of making the team is enjoying unlimited playing and practicing privileges at the beautiful Taconic Golf Club.

Team members and alums

Present and past members of the golf team, along with their nicknames, are listed.

Class of 2009: Rahul Bahl (Hard H, Squirrel), Chris Chiang (Chianger), Matt Felser (15), Logan Gerrity, David Ramsay (Rammerz), Tyler Zara

Class of 2008: Brendan Conley (Lapdog), Jeff Lin (Linny the Pooh, Linnypooh, Chris), Nicholas Nottebohm (Nick, on occasion?), Nick Ryder^ (Cup, Walmart), Don Wieczorek^ (Gary, Woogie, Donnie)

Class of 2007: Kevin Kellert (Stilts, Lambda, Kevbo, Shits, Sandhill Crane, Tuberculosis, Chief Tall Bear), Alex Mallory (Dirtbag, 13, DB), Frank Haluska^

Class of 2006: John Kildahl (Johnny Booze), Will Sirignano (C-Ring, High Octane, Nano), Matt Slovitt (Slops), Tim Evans (Timmy), Matt Wilka^ (Wilka-monster)

Class of 2005: Kurt Brumme (Old Saggy, Old Saggy Brummbag, General Brumsfeld), Zach McArthur (Z-Mac, Uncle Z, Beached Whale, Uncle Th), John Harris

Class of 2004: Bryan Harmon (BH), Ross Koller (Rossy), Ned Wydysh

Class of 200?: Michael Dougherty (Mike D)

^ - no longer with program.

Notable Events

Here are some recent memories of monument and misfortune that will go down in golf team history.

The 289

A week in Orlando, thanks to the 289

Playing in the season-ending District Shootout event at Taconic in late April, 2005, the Ephs needed a great finish to ensure an invitation to the NCAA field. After a score of 304 on Saturday to put them in 3rd place, on Sunday the team lapped the field with the best single-round score in Williams Golf history - a 289.

Leading the way was junior captain Matt Slovitt, who ran off a string of birdies, including four straight culminating on the 11th hole where he found himself 6-under par. Matt finished the day at 1-under par 70. Sophomore Kevin Kellert finished the front nine with a 32, and was shocked to hear that 3-under wasn't even good enough to be best on the team at that point! Kevin finished with an even-par 71 to share tournament medalist honors with Slovitt. Freshman phenom Nick Ryder played a consistent round of golf, ending with a birdie on 18 for an even-par 71. Junior Will Sirignano rounded out the scoring with a solid 77, making the team total an eye-popping 289 and cementing Williams a spot in Orlando at Nationals.

The 13-putt

Alex Mallory, aka "13"

The headline of the article following an October, 2003 tournament was "Ephs Fall Victim to Bizarre Course Set-up @ ECAC Championship." However, it was certainly freshman Alex Mallory that bore the brunt of the bizarre course set-up.

The 10th hole at Saratoga Spa golf course is a short, overly narrow par four that ends with the most severe green on the course - a two-tiered surface pitching sharply from back to front. In a ridiculous and controversial decision, the pin on this day was cut almost right into the tier, making it virtually impossible to keep any ball near the hole. With many players struggling to find the elusive hole, backups on the tee reached 5 group waits.

After hitting the green in regulation 2 strokes, Alex proceeded to 13-putt the green for a 15 on the hole. The remaining members of the team four and five-putted, as 3 foot missed putts ended up 30 or more feet away. Certain that this unfair situation would be turned into an automatic 2-putt (as the fourth green was on this day), Alex went on to post a fine 1-over par performance for the other 17 of his holes. However, the tournament director apparently did not see a big enough issue and chose to let the scores stand. Enraged Williams golf coach Rick Pohle refused to stay for the tournament conclusion and wrote numerous official complaint letters to throw the tournament results out. The effort went unrewarded, and the team's drop from 2nd or 3rd to 9th place in the ECAC championship because of the hole location was a large factor in missing Nationals at the end of the year.

Stu's Miracle

Williams' major golf rival is Skidmore College, the other elite program in the Northeast District. One of Skidmore's best players in the last few years has been Stuart Drahota '07, who has become an idol in the eyes of many on the Williams team -- and not only because of his ultra-cool green shoes that read "STU", his winning a tournament by shooting 66 with rental clubs after his were stolen the night before, his very tight relationship with Alex Mallory, or his showing up at Kevin Kellert's 21st birthday party on the Williams campus.

STU

Stu cemented his godly status with the Wiliams golf team with a single shot on the 18th hole of the Saratoga Spa golf course in the fall of 2004. Playing with Williams freshman Brendan "Lapdog" Conley, Stu missed a 2-foot putt by an inch on the 17th hole and proceeded to show the only flash of anger he has ever had on the golf course, slamming his putter into his foot and bending it.

After using the broken putter to tap in, Stu and Lapdog went to the 18th. As they were playing in the #1 position, they had teed off last and were set to finish the 18th with the rest of the field and coaches ringing the green. Of course, this was going to get interesting as Stu could not use his bent putter, as it is against the rules to do so. "What club would Stu use to putt?", thought Lapdog, as they walked up the fairway. "His wedge? His driver?" With no putter available, Stu, however, found the best solution. Approaching the green from 150 yards out, Stu swung a 9-iron that sent the ball onto the green, hopping toward the pin, and amazingly, going in the hole for an eagle 2! Stu never needed to putt. Stu is a golf god.

Golf Digest Article

The magazine Golf Digest decided to focus on college golf for a portion of its August, 2005 issue. It ranked all division I, II, and II programs

http://www.golfdigest.com/features/index.ssf?/features/gd200509collegegolf7.html

For any students of Italian at Williams, the writeup even made it into the Italian version of the magazine, as reprinted below.

"Matthew Slovitt di Winnetka, Illinois, assapora una classica esperienza universitaria: una delle migliori scuole di Lettere, un programma di golf competitivo, squash universitario junior, piccole commedie e una crociera di 14 giorni per studiare filosofia e biologia alle Isole Galapagos. “Sono molto impegnato, ma tutti i miei amici hanno molte cose da fare” dice il co-capitano. “ e riescono anche a giocare a beachvolley”.

8:45 Sveglia, colazione.

9:55 lezione di diplomazia. “Non sono un gran politico-scientifico-teorico, ma la lezione è al 100 per cento discussione stimolata dai 12 studenti della classe”.

11.10 Biblioteca. Avendo come materie principali biologia ed economia, studiare quattro ore al giorno, cinque giorni a settimana è lo standard.

12:15 Un panino veloce, nella sede di scienze recentemente rinnovata.

12:55 Invio di e-mail dal computer della biblioteca per concordare la pratica del golf nel pomeriggio.

13.00 Tre ore di laboratorio di microbiologia. “È una classe veramente difficile, ma imparo molto”.

16.15 Sul tee al Taconic Golf Club con i miei compagni di squadra Uncle Z (Zach McArthur), Lapdog (Brendan Conley), e Cup (Nick Ryder). Gioco 10 buche veloci.

18.50 Cena: insalata, pollo, pasta, Gatorade e uno yogurt.

20.00 Lavoro a un compito di economia con un giocatore di tennis.

23.00 Festa dei quattro anni di Frosh Revue. “ La mia peggiore esibizione l’ho fatta cercando di cantare una canzone scritta da noi. Terribile”.

2.00 Luci spente."

Rounds to Remember

1. The 289: a buzz around Taconic unlike any other.

2. Alex and Kevin shooting twin 69's in 2005 tryouts.

3. BH's 74 in the cold and sleet at Saratoga Spa in 2003.

4. Brumme's 14 straight pars before a "biblical" downpour in fall, 2003.

5. Kildahl, Slovitt, Conley shooting 73's, Mallory 75 for a 294 at Midd.

6. BH's 70 - with a lost ball - in the 2003 Eph Classic.

7. Will Sicks' 68-69 = 137 at the Williams Invitational his junior year.

8. Brumme winning holes 16 and 17 to clinch Little 3's over Amherst, 2004.

9. Slovitt's back to back 70's his freshman year tryouts.

10. Z-Mac and BH hitting 10 straight GIR alternate-shot at Little 3's.

11. Alex's 84 aka 73 at the Spa.

12. A 2-under par 70 by Ryder at Shenandoah fall of 2004.

13. Ned birdieing 18 to shoot 69 and beat Mihm by a stroke his sophomore year.

14. A 295 at Nationals in 2003.

15. Z-Mac's solid 78 on Spring Break at Mission Inn.

Team traditions

Spring break

Will Sicks '03 and Dave Mihm '03 lead the cheers in Salem, VA

The highlight of the golf team's season is an annual 2-week spring break trip to Florida. Most players make the long drive down the East Coast, leaving campus after classes end on the Friday before break begins and arriving in Florida on Sunday. In 2003 and 2004, the trip down fortunately coincided with the Williams Men's Basketball Team's appearance in the Final Four the same weekend in Salem, Virginia. Thus both spring breaks began on high notes, as the golfers witnessed Williams winning the championship on last second free throws in 2003, and beating rival Amherst in a heated semi-final matchup in 2004. The 24-hour ride down - as the temperature creeps up, the windows slowly get rolled down, and the beats of Rap Classics blare into the warm Carolina air - is the perfect kickoff to two amazing weeks. On the flip side, the long ride back to Williamstown, driving through the night toward the spring's cold rain and sleet, can be a depressing 24 hours.

The team goes to improve their golf and beirut skills. Detailed statistics for golf (fairways, greens in regulation, putts, sand saves, and penalty strokes) and beirut (cups hit, wal-marts, last cup hit, quotes) are meticulously recorded.

John Kildahl in the midst of perhaps the greatest beirut performance of all time

In 2004 and 2005, Zach "Uncle Th" McArthur wrote up comprehensive reports, complete with color pictures, that totaled over 100 pages containing every game of beirut played over break. From the statistics, it is clear that golf skill and beirut skill do not tend to overlap. As one increases, the other, as sad as it may be, declines. An inverse relationship per se, or whatever. This is especially clear in the cases of Matt Slovitt and Kevin Kellert, clearly the two best golfers on the team, and even more clearly, the two worst beirut partners on the team.

Coach Pohle appears to schedule the golf tee times so that the team's hangovers (and his own) wear off before the first ball is hit. Often playing at 1pm, and of course, ALWAYS with a cart, the team's golf is consistently awful over break. Rounds of 100 are not uncommon. It took Zach McArthur 30 rounds on Spring Break before he broke 80 in his last one - shooting 78 and losing to Coach Pohle by a shot on the final hole.

Some of the better courses hacked up by the team are "Not So" Grand Harbor's River course (nickname by Ned Wydysh '04...), Hawk's Nest, BallenIsles, PGA Golf Club's Dye course, and the McArthur Club. The worst course played is certainly Sand Ridge - "off to Sand Crotch again," says Ned at the beginning of every Spring Break.

Kevbo with adoring Bennigan's waitress Pam

From each day's golf course, the team generally has gone directly to dinner at a variety of chain restaurants: TGIF, Applebee's, Outback Steakhouse, and the like. The greasy food and large Brutus beers provide a perfect start to most nights. One burgeoning tradition is to visit Bennigan's one time during break; Bennigan's offers the "Monte Cristo" - two deep fried ham, turkey, and cheese sandwiches served with powdered sugar and raspberry jam. Kevin Kellert, challenged by the team to do so, ordered and ate TWO orders of Monte Cristos in 2004. This feat won him five dollars from the waitress, who had never seen anything like it done before.

Housing on Spring Break has varied quite a bit in recent years. 2003 and 2004 were spent in one of the grossest Motel 6's in the world, where dogs ran wild, some rooms appeared to contain entire extended families, a prostitute wanted to smoke up with Ned Wydysh and Bryan Harmon '04, and Matt Slovitt used the parking lot as his personal urinal. In 2005, after getting kicked out of Motel 6 (maybe it was the plywood thrown in the pool, BH?), Rick Pohle hooked the team up with 2 condos overlooking the PGA Golf Club. It was paradise. Night golf on the par-3 course out back was common and more beirut was played than ever before. In 2006, it was a slight step down to a hotel setup -- neighboring guests in the hallway apparently kept wondering why the boys next door played so much ping-pong late at night...

night practice

The Olde Forge

"12 original"

BH revels in getting his wings before Mike D

Discovered" by Ned Wydysh for his birthday on Valentine's Day, 2003, going to The Forge quickly became a weekly staple for the golf team. As the 2003-2004 school year rolled around, senior captains Ned (3 beer cards) and BH (0 beer cards, only drinks Coors Light and Foster's) made going to the Forge at least as important as playing golf for members of the team.

The amazing wings and good beer fueled the team's mediocre play week in and week out. Ned, BH, Zach McArthur (3 beer cards), John Kildahl (almost 4 beer cards), Matt "Philip" Slovitt (almost 4 beer cards), and non-golfer Jon Russell '06 (3 beer cards) made up the core of the weekly group. As younger members of the team learned of this tradition, they became important participants, mostly as designated drivers. In particular, Brendan "Lapdog" Conley '08 (2 beer cards!) served this role well, sacrificing gaining the freshman 15 (or 25) in exchange for wings every week. The year 2005 saw Irish Carbombs become a staple final drink during Forge visits. One magical night, Kurt Brumme, sitting at an adjacent table (with mostly Swim Team-ers), stealthily bought the entire golf table a round of bombs. Just about a year later, on May 4, 2006, Kevin Kellert demonstrated his leadership and commitment to the Williams Golf Team tradition by completing his first Irish Carbomb. It is this author's hope that the Forge remains alive in the Williams Golf family as long as possible.

Bob Seger

Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band

The beginning of the love affair between the Williams Golf Team and the music of Bob Seger was when Will Sicks '03 and John Kildahl '06 picked up a Seger tape at a gas station on Spring Break 2003. Seger was the preferred music of that entire break at Motel 6, and by the end of it, the entire team knew the words to his Greatest Hits. Many CDs were burned, Seger was played at every golf event and car ride to and from the Forge, and every time you heard him you thought of Spring Break and a smile came to your face. Bob Seger has remained as a presence at all golf team social functions. "We've Got Tonight" will be played at many a golf teamer's wedding in the distant future.

Rap Classics

Blankenheimer's alter ego

A mix put together by Bryan Harmon '04 and Matthew Slovitt '06 in Mission, 2003. The CD spread like wildfire around campus and is THE party mix for the golf team. It is composed of the following songs:

"This is How We Do It"- Montell Jordan

"I Wish"- Skee-Lo

"Remix to Ignition"- R. Kelly

"Regulators"- Warren G

With not enough room to include every Rap Classic on the original mix, BH and Slops made a second mix that proved as popular as the first. This CD was called "Rap Classics: The Next Episode" and includes:

...?

"Juicy" has arguably become the most popular Rap Classic, outshining the rest due to performances of it by Adam Blankenheimer '04 (a close friend of Ned, BH, and Mike D). A fairly short, white, Jewish kid, Adam regularly raps "Juicy" for the golf teamers with an intensity and passion that has made it the climax of the Rap Classics mix.

Halftime Putting Contest

At the halftime of the homecoming football game, the team gathers at (stumbles to) Taconic for a putting contest. Anyone not completely inebriated (Kevin, hrmph) should not participate. Recent winners have included Matt Slovitt in 2003, despite falling over on several of his putts, Brendan Conley in 2004, his decisive victory capping off a fantastic fall with the flatstick, and Kurt Brumme in 2005, who sank the winning 40-footer with a BAC of... a lot.

Talking wasted with Coach Pohle is not required, though it seems to happen every year and end poorly every time. "Enjoy the second half."

Broomball

The men's golf team has won the last two contested college winter study IM broomball championships.

In 2004, Bryan Harmon '04 scored every regular season goal for the team, capping his incredible one-man show with a key late-game breakaway backhand goal over Choir goalie Dan Krass's shoulder to send the team into the playoffs. Once in the playoffs, Zach McArthur '05 took over, scoring every post-season goal, including an early-game rifle from the blue line that won the championship 1-0 over the very cheer-happy Fay 2 squad. Ned Wydysh '04 was a rock in goal, allowing but one regulation goal all year and stuffing Rugby time and again in an exciting semi-final playoff shootout.

As for 2005, despite losing Wydysh and Harmon, the team had a regular season probably unmatched in broomball history. With the new varsity women's golf team providing support, the bench was long, every game was a blowout, and even Kevin Kellert '07 scored a goal. However, Director of Athletics Harry Sheehy canceled the playoffs due to concerns that the ice was getting dirty from sneakers. It was a sad end to a dominant January on the ice.

In 2006, two new team members stepped up as rising stars to successfully defend the broomball crown. Tim Evans '06 and Matt Felser '09 took advantage of playing the regular season half-ice as the team went undefeated. In the playoffs, the team coasted through until the championship, when they had to play shorthanded the whole game, and with Kevin on the ice to boot! Despite basically playing 2-men down the entire contest, the golf team triumphed once again for their second straight playoff crown. This could not have been done, of course, without the help and amazing skills of newcomer, Stacey "a stud on the ice" Baradit. Gray T-shirts with a purple & gold argyle design on the front and "Kevin's always watching" on the back commemorate the golf team's broomball success.

Quotes and Sayings by Coach Rick Pohle

Coachie Von

"or whatever"

"so to speak"

"...be sure to replace your divots grass, green side up..."

"we've just got to concentrate on the carrot, or the candle at the end of the rainbow or whatever"

"or whatever... or per se"

Coach's email announcing the lineup for Little Threes, 2004: "Democracy is a great thing, but remember that GOLF is the game of kings (or was that chess). Our goal will be to crush the insubordinate tribe from the south in the most effective manner. I choose 3 swift frontal attacks from the Koller/Slovitt, Harmon/Wydysh and Kildahl/Brumme camps followed by a Chinese water torture display from Kellert/Sirignano (slow & painful)..........OZ"

a rough day of practice...