Hank Gerard the "Not-Cardinal" Tojman

Hank Gerrard the "Not-Cardinal" Tojman is the alter-ego (or alter egos) or Paul N. Stansifer '07.

The story goes thusly: In the fall of 2004, Paul was told to introduce himself by someone who had mentioned that he would "forget all of your names anyhow". He introduced himself as "Hank". Rachel S. Selinsky '06 knew "Hank" was not Paul's actual name, but is horrible with names and could not remember his real name. So she called him Hank. Thus a legend was born. Some continued to call him "Hank" after she reluctantly learned his real name because it was funny; others, because they were confused. Nevertheless, the name "Hank" had a sort of sticking power, a life of its own, and would not be lived down.

Sean A. Carollo '07 provided Hank with a new middle and last name, and later, christened him the Not-Cardinal, under Katherine L. Dieber '07, the current Not-Pope of WARP. The contract was signed on a Driscoll napkin by multiple witnesses.

In the fall of 2005, Julianne Shelby '06 made the cogent argument that Paul, Hank, and Hank Gerard the "Not-Cardinal" Tojman were actually three entities, not two, and that in this manner Paul represented the triune God.