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Ted Wiles

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In the mid 1990's Ted Wiles was briefly both the capitol of Ecuador and the constitution of Myanmar. However he was removed from both these positions when scientists realized that his power had grown so great that it was forming a giant "cosmic vortex" capable of creating black holes and tearing the very fabric of space-time itself. Before leaving the earth, Ted farted in an old abandoned warehouse near Geneva, Switzerland. He now spends his time roaming the Galaxy and feeding on planets. He appeared briefly in the 1985 movie "Transformers:The Movie" as Omnicron, voiced by Orson Welles.
The Jacobian of Ted's life has non-zero imaginary eigenvalues. When he sleeps his dreams are Hopf bifurcations. He is everywhere differentiable.
Known Aliases: Ted, The Ted, Teddy, Mr. Ted, Sam Bowie, T. Fagles, T. Feagles, Horsepiss Wiles, Steve Perry, Dumptruck, Dumptruck Wiles
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