Brian Hirshman


The bad-ass-est mo-fo in the class of '06, Brian Hirshman has:

  1. Taken seven classes at a time
  2. Attempted to drink a gallon of milk in one hour, twice
  3. Eaten a handful of red pepper
  4. Signed up to write a thesis and two mini-theses
  5. Stuck it to the man
  6. Spent Halloween night alone in Hopkins forest
  7. Threatened to declare his own Mountain Day, if Morty failed to do so
  8. Won a cheesecake in a pumpkin hunt
  9. "Explored" about half of the "vertical surfaces" on campus
  10. Worn exclusively shorts for an entire winter season in Williamstown
  11. Opposed anchor housing unabashedly
  12. Run for College Council President, along with the dearly departed Amarnath Santhanam, and let the latter throw a pie in his face upon their defeat
  13. Turned everything in Dan Burns '06's room backwards.
  14. Petitioned the state of Kentucky to transfer Prof. Morgan, an honorary Colonel in the state militia, to the navy, so he would become Captain Morgan.
  15. Walked to Lower Mission and driven off-campus to buy dinner because Driscoll was closed and Mission dining hall was too far away
  16. Carried a tub of ice cream out of the dining hall on his tray for the consumption of those dining outside.
  17. Studied with his friends in Bridge Club and Captain Morgan to become an accomplished bridge player
  18. Eaten a matzah bacon cheeseburger
  19. Submitted a randomly generated paper as a thesis draft
  20. Driven 827 miles to watch his younger brother play tenns, and would gladly do so again
  21. Camped at Death Valley in August
  22. Sought to co-teach CS334 in the spring of 2006, seeing as the computer science department didn't have a prof for the class, but was not given permission to do so
  23. Read the majority of "The Brothers Karamazov" in a single night
  24. Been waiting for the right weather conditions to play on playing Frisbie Golf on the Taconic Golf Course
  25. Learned to type using a Dvorak keyboard layout
  26. Won a game of blindfold chess against a sighted opponent.


He has also been a prominent member of the College Bowl team, Williams Trivia, and Chess Club.